Learning Update - 12/10/2015 - 30/10/2015

I thought it's time I started having proper account of her learning progress no matter how small it seems. Initially I've wanted to do a weekly account, but she needs more time to learn as the 'skills' get harder. 

For 3 weeks, I had her learning to trace lowercase 'c', 'a', 't' in individual worksheets and now she is tracing the word 'cat' - and identifying it with the meaning. I made the tracing worksheet myself as it is difficult to find the exact one that I had in mind. I have a few more words in mind for her to trace. My logic is that now that she is older, she might find it too childish to just trace the alphabets individually and she might not see the point in them. After she managed to trace the alphabets individually, I had her progress to words to enable her to see the usefulness of these alphabets in forming words. 

Currently, she is also learning to write 'c' independently on lined paper (with no tracing). She is still working on keeping within the lines, and differentiating between the uppercase and lowercase c when writing on lined paper. 

She is relearning her counting skills. We do this every few days to have her recognise the numbers and it's value. Currently, she is still struggling with 1,2 and 3. She will be able to write numbers 1 and 2 when I hold her hands and guide her at least one time. then she can finish the rest of the work. (It is actually fluctuating progress. Sometimes she can write the numbers 1 and 2 even if I did not touch her - but only show the number. but sometimes she seems to need the extra touch to have the confidence - I can see it in her eyes, when she wrote her first few words and looked at me for confirmation. She would smile so sweetly if she had it right) However, If I simply gave her the paper and pen, then asked her to write 1 or 2..... she usually ends up with writing the number 2. For the number 3, she is still struggling to differentiate between 2 and 3. She needs someone to at least touch her hand lightly (I usually just touch her little finger) and she would trace/write the number. I think it's just a matter of self-confidence. I will be having her trace/write all the numbers 1,2 and 3 everyday so that she doesn't forget. 

It is the same for colour identification. I tried in our mother-toungue (Chinese) to gauge her ability to tell the colours. She made a few mistakes - what else to say for English. I guess I am starting again from the beginning - to teach her all the skills that she learnt and mastered in the past few years. This time, I am determined to make it more systematic and make it a point to revise whatever we have learnt again and again - even if it means it will take longer for us to progress to new things. 

But one thing I am happy about is her attitude in learning. It has been a daily routine for us, to start working after dinner. After I had a short rest and when she sees me taking out her worksheets, she will arrange the chairs and wait for me to start. 

She manage to sit there and do her work for around 30 minutes to 1 hour, which is a great improvement. Sometimes, I'd let her have 5 minutes break in between, and she happily skipped off and came back when I called. :)

Learning progress 4/10/2015 - 11/10/2015

I've mentioned and attempted several times over these years to teach my daughter to learn academically.  A few times I'd managed to stick to a schedule for a few weeks, sometimes a few months- but in the end, life happens and I'd stop. Having high expectations causes deep frustrations in me. For almost 2 years, after she entered primary school,  I've stopped focusing on her academic skills and decided to lower my expectations to only having her not causing troubles in school and learning independent life skills.
          Once in a while,  I'd get her to do some written work, but never expecting much from her. I'd hold her hands and guided her to write - with the intention of introducing the knowledge,  while I explained in as simple way as possible the work being done. I think I've sort of given up getting her to write independently but still hoping that she'd learn something.
          Anyway, God's gentle nudge prompted me to start teaching her to write again. I almost gave up - the 2nd day. She had me crying and boiling inside throughout the day. Being pregnant, I tried hard to control my emotions but failed. I was so disappointed with myself.
          But somehow God decided that I should not give up now. Deep inside,  I felt something kept reminding me to see the readiness in my child. Yes! She does show signs of readiness in learning academically. Several times we 'caught' her peeking at her brother when he is doing his homework.  She'd come over to have a look when the brother complained about some difficult work. Whenever I asked her to come to the table for some work,  she'd willingly come. And whenever I 'helped' her with her maths addition - I'd sometimes feel her hands moving against mine as she attempted to write numbers - at times, the movement is correct.  Plus, she is showing reaction when I praised her for doing her 'homework'. After every exercise,  she'd look at me expectantly. If these aren't readiness - tell me what should I look for....
          On the 3rd day, I decided to try a different approach. I prepared a glass of milk for myself and acted as if I don't expect much from the lesson.  With a neutral tone, I had her trace her numbers 1 and 2 - sometimes just touching her little pinky to get her going. I praised her for good writing but quietly held her hands to correct the wrong ones.
          By the 4th day, she did it! She independently wrote her number 1, with enough strength and pencil control (written within the boxes).  Then we proceeded to number 2. She seemed to have gained more confidence and followed instructions to hold her pencil correctly with the other hand holding on to the sheet of paper, AND have her eyes on the paper while writing. After a few tracings,  she'd look at me for confirmation - we praised her profusely!  I try to build her confidence by having her trace the number 2 (I wrote with light coloured pencil colour) and purposely leaving a few boxes blank here and there.
         By the 6th day, she could write the number 2 without tracing. Isn't that something!!!
         What I have learned from this week is that every child is different.  I believe that she will reach her milestones in her own time. But - I will have to be attentive and alert to her signs of readiness to each milestone and work on them when the time comes. The Montessori concept emphasizes on respecting the child and to teach each child when they are ready.
         I pray that this time I will be more consistent to slowly get her to love learning academically and to continue to improve.


          I shouldn't neglect my son's progress too. For the past months,  he has discovered the fruits of hard work. In his eagerness to receive presents in kindergarten for being in the 1st to 4th position, he told me he wanted me to help him with his revisions prior to his mid year test. The beginning of the year, he got the 5th position and could only look on as his peers receive presents. 2 weeks before his tests, I did intensive revision with him ( while discovering his weaknesses in certain subjects :(, which I didn't really notice before) I created and printed worksheets after worksheets and drilled him with his spelling and surprisingly - he did not complain! He did shed a few tears, when he made mistakes in the worksheets and spelling - but he persevered. The end result - he got the 4th position. He was elated! We celebrated and bought him his favourite comics and made a big fuss of him (while reminding him how his hard work paid off)
          He couldn't stop talking about it that I took this opportunity to get him on track for a good study routine - preparing him for a more gruelling primary 1 life.
          Together with his sister - on the same day - I took the risk of tiring myself - I prepared daily schedule for him. He has the freedom to do whichever of the 4 to 5 items of reading/exercises I prepared for the day - in return for a sticker. He has to promise me not to ask or 'beg' for ipad or tv time during school days nor to complain about his workload. (More for my sanity) I do however, reduce his work when he looks tired.
          So, my son has been on daily schedule for a week too. He learned to quickly finish his work and he is free to read his comics and play. On Friday, he'll have 6 stickers (we start from Sunday) to enable his access to ipad games we downloaded (no wifi for videos). He can have the ipad until Saturday but he still has a few light items to do in his schedule like colouring and flash cards revision. (My time to relax :)  I am hoping that we can continue with this pace through the next 6 weeks of school. Then we'll have around 5 weeks of school holiday where I need to work on his weaker subjects. Hopefully by next year, I won't have difficulty getting him into the primary 1 rhythm without having to send him to tuition classes. Praying hard. :)

Updates.... progress in Joy (sort of)

It has certainly been quite awhile since I updated this space. I check in everyday, to go through the blogs I follow, but does not seem to feel the need to write. Rather, I am not feeling very chatty. Anyway, as usual, there always seem to be something that prompt me to write something. So here I am....

         As for progress in my daughter, I can see much improvement in her daily living skills. Improvements are good, though they do pose more problems at times. She is quite independent nowadays when it comes to changing her own clothes. She changes into her pajamas when it's almost bedtime (sometimes on her own, sometimes with a reminder from me), and when she wakes up in the morning, she would change into her day clothes - all by herself. She automatically will pick up her clothes and put them in the dirty pile. BUT - with this, she also started to exercise her preference of clothes. At times she would wear the same blouse and shorts for days, until I step in and throw them into the washing machine, at which she would reluctantly find other clothes to wear. She even knows to put the clothes she wanted to re-wear, after changing into pajamas at a place or hide them in a bag so that she can wear them again the next day. I caught her observing me, when I purposely try to get the clothes she laid nicely on the chair for the next day. The moment I touch the clothes, she ran and took them away.... hmmm.... somehow I don't mind. As she shows a character where she would protect what she wants. As long she doesn't make a fuss when I insisted on throwing them into the washing machine, I am ok. Previously she didn't or rather not know how to choose pajamas that matches in colours, now she would go and search for the matching sets first. But she knows if she can't find the matching ones, she can always wear whatever she found. So there's flexibility.

          As she is taller now, she started to cast her sights on higher places - upper parts of cabinets, top of closets and cupboards, upper part drawers... anywhere she was not able to explore before. (did I mentioned that she loves 'exploring?). She learnt to make use of chairs and stools, and even canes to climb and open doors which we kept closed with special hinge - not too sure what it's called. With her new problem solving skills, we have to be more diligent in keeping an eye on her - believe me, she can cause a real havoc. An example of an incident was at her grandmother's place. I was late from work, and she was to explore on her own while her grandmother rested. In less than 20 minutes (I was told), the grandmother began to get curious since the girl has been quiet and out of sight - that she began searching for her. Alas! This naughty girl got her hands on her uncle's new can of hair wax (put on top of the cupboard) and brought it upstairs and started to 'wax' the newly laminated living room floor, grandmother's bedroom floor, chest of drawers and her bed! When I arrive, the grandmother was exhausted from cleaning and mopping the place over and over again. - Her poor knees really hurt for the next few days. Though this incident did not surprise me at all, (she did this all the time in our own house - but we manage to minimize them by not letting her out of our sight at all) - it really shows how things will get more and more complicated as this girl grow older and older.

         As for her feeding herself, it depends on her mood or rather the type of food served. When she is back from school, she will usually feed herself 'coz she's really hungry and keep out of her sight. For dinner at our own home, she would sometimes want me to feed her or she would not eat at all - especially if the food is not her favourite. I had to insist on her feeding herself at least half of her plate before I feed her - or if I'm feeling lazy, I'll let her off for not finishing her food. Scolding her will not solve anything - and I do have to pick my battles with her.

        She has learnt to bathe herself too, with someone (grandmother or me) sitting outside the bathroom giving instructions - clean here, clean there...etc... hopefully she will progress to cleaning herself without instructions soon. She knows to take her bath towel and head to the bathroom with minimum prompt. Perhaps this is partly because she does feel hot and stuffy in school uniform for the whole morning.

       We usually have to pack at least 5 sets of the children' daily clothes to bring to my mil since they bathe there during school days. At first I tasked my son to find and pack the clothes every Sunday/Monday. However, since my girl now has preference of what clothes she would like to wear, she sometimes would take out her clothes (packed by brother) and change with her favourite ones. That's good, right? At times when she did not like the choice of clothes at grandmother's place, she would comply by wearing whatever she has and change them when she got home. I don't mind this, as it's better than her previous behaviour of insisting not to wear anything she didn't like that we had to let her re wear her school uniform (after bath) and change her when we got back home.

         Another skill/ compliance that makes my life easier is that she will respond when ever we asked if she needs to go to the toilet when we are not at home. As a habit, she would go to the toilet before we go out. But if we are out and about, which we often are, I'll just have to remember to ask her if she needs to go... she will quickly pull us/ or run to the direction of the toilet. At times when we forgot to ask, she would simply pull us to the toilet direction. Now I'll just have to figure out how to get her in the toilet and close the door for her business. Plus we are still working on her learning to wipe herself after toilet.

        Though I could not say that she has improved in her speech, we will sometimes get short forms of certain words that she wanted to say. We are still working on her in this area - as she is really stubborn in imitating sounds or producing sounds that we wanted her to learn. We had to be be creative to get her to pronounce/ say certain words all throughout the day so as not to make her feel that we are 'working' on her speech. But one thing I am happy with is that she willingly respond with some sounds/any sounds, if I am searching for her. If I was resting on the sofa, and I can't see her anywhere from my position, I'll just call out, and she would respond.

       Most of the time she is very compliant to my requests. If I need a rest after work, and her brother is not around to help me keep an eye on her, I'll ask her to sit on the swing with her favourite toy or book (the swing positioned strategically where I can see her from my resting position). AS I drifted in and out of my naps, she will be sitting on the swing until she sees that I am awake.

        Her interest in music seem to increase, though not in a way that I know how to handle. I haven't manage to figure out how to expand on this. Whenever she listens to songs a few times, she would be able to hum along the exact tune. She may not sound the same lyrics, but she would hum them with her own lyrics.... wah, wah, wah,.... lalala, papapa... etc.... Any idea how to expand on this?

    What else.... for her academics, she has shown some interests in maths and colouring. She is still not writing independently, but as I gently hold her hands when doing her maths exercises, she has the strength in the movement of the numbers she is writing. She is still working on addition of 0 - 5 with visual help. As for colouring, she knows not to colour out of the line, but still not able to control the strength. At times when I am not free, and she is feeling hardworking, she would put her colouring book or her maths book on the dining table. I usually do work with her on my own work table, but her brother does work on the dining table. I like to keep the dining table free from books when it's not 'school' time. - So I guess she knows that by putting the books on the dining table, she will get my attention. (just a wishful thought). Whenever I am coaching her brother with school work or spelling, she seemed to pay attention and would sometimes came near to peek at her brother's work. Plus she loves to flip through her brother's kindergarten books. We just have to be careful not to let her tear them apart. We have not manage to get her to mend this habit. Her own school books are in such state. sigh

      Since we are getting to the end of the school year, it is time for me to gear up with some preparation to teach her more consistently - I'll have around 6 weeks to work with her during the school holiday before she enters Primary 3.

Getting back into a routine

      After my last post, I really beat myself up for even considering to choose between myself and my children. Trust me. It's not a pleasant feeling. I mean, the world has been harping about how a mother would sacrifice everything for her children and here I am being out of the box. But I have been quickly reminded by well meaning friends - of how important to first take care of myself if I wanted to take good care of my children.

          So I did. I continued with my exercise routines and added some herbal supplements to better care for myself mentally and physically. And I expanded my latest craze of gardening. Well, not exactly gardening since I only have a few pots of flowers in my car porch. But I find that caring (spraying them with water when I have time) is therapeutic. One of the reasons I chose resilient plants - succulents, and indoor plants which will not die so easily.

These are my first few pots. Aren't they pretty?

And I managed to save this from dying. A few weeks back, this does not have a single part that shows it's green and bright yellow leaves. 

I have re-established  a study routine for my children and we are finding our groove. 

So far, so good. 

I try to take a relaxed approach. My present plan is to help my daughter to go through all those kindergarten workbooks (selected worksheets). My goal is to help her to revise the concepts and to introduce more knowledge whenever possible. She is not writing independently yet. So for now I'll just hold her hands and let her feel the flow in writing. (I still think /feel that she knows how to write some numbers and alphabets and she needs time to gain her confidence to write independently)

As for my son, I am trying to teach him to learn to have the self control to study amid temptation (television). Whenever I will be late in the afternoon, I'll prepare a list of spelling test and some worksheets for him to finish while waiting for me at his grandmother's place. This way, I do not worry that he has too much screen time. So far he has been compliant and willingly follow my instructions - cox he loves his screen time that much. (shrug)

          I also reintroduce most of the supplements I gave my daughter in the past years. Last year I stopped giving her supplements (except for vitamin C) - my  main reasoning was that we did not actually know what are these supplements doing for her. I guess we will never know for sure. Since I reintroduced the supplements, we do start to hear good comments from mil about her (we did not tell her when we started her on these supplements). But one thing for sure - as I chose only natural and mostly gluten free supplements, they will help with her general well being and definitely wont harm her. 

With a healthier, happier mother, a routine, health supplements and the essential oils for the children and the parents, I hope this year will be a better year for all. It might be too late to say this - but still - 

Wishing everyone a wonderful year 2015. 

Updates.... and some thoughts on homeschooling.

          I fully have the intention to let this blog rest for sometime coz I have other plans that needed my attention. But somehow, a friend's simple question asking me about my opinion of homeschooling got me thinking. Well, it's more of a push of that 'guilt' button that's always there but ignored. (it's not her fault - I'd like to think of it as God's gentle reminder of my responsibilities.

          As some of you might realize, I have been focusing more on myself for the past months. 2014 wasn't a good year for my family - especially me. With my daughter just entering primary school, I've had to deal with her many different issues that cropped up every few weeks, and the stress at work almost suffocated me. To make things worse, I have this bad habit of stress eating. - which is why 2014 sees me at my heaviest and most uncomfortable phase of health. I'd get easily tired, mentally exhausted and very bad tempered. - which is NOT good for my family.

          Anyway, I've started pushing myself to exercise, and eat a healthy diet AND managed to lose weight. I am very happy to report that as of now, I've lost about 10kg. I have more confidence in myself. I don't look or feel easily tired. And the most important is that I feel renewed.

          But when I look back, I feel a tinge of guilt. 'Coz in my 'quest' for health, I have in a way neglected my children. Previously, I am totally focussed on them. I don't have to cook (we go to my mil's), and I have a cleaning maid coming every week to clean the house. - which means that I have all the time (after work) to concentrate on my children especially on my daughter.

          For the past months, I leave them be. I started cooking our own meals, learning to bake, doing household chores myself (no more maid) and exercising. - which translates to less time with the children. I confronted my husband with my 'guilt' and he was very supportive - saying that he's happy that I've finally decided to 'love' myself and take care of myself and my personal development.

         But the guilt is still there. This year, my daughter is in Primary 2. This first month did not go too well. In just the first 2 weeks she managed to tear almost all her text books. She cried and refused to wear her school uniform for the first week. And refused to wear her PE uniform on the 2 days they have PE in school. She did not drink her water at all in school - and rushed for water right after she arrived at grandmother's after school. Just last Friday, she came home with a classmate's book which she tore. Her teacher asked her to bring back the book to be repaired and returned on Monday.

          I've only done the minimum for her school work too. When I am able, I'll get her to do some writing exercise and finish a few pages of her school workbooks. (Her teachers never gave her any homework - mainly because she can't write on her own yet) I think her teachers just tolerated her 'existence' because we insist on sending her to the mainstream. The only things that kept us with this decision was that though she did not improve in her academics, both the teachers and I agree that she improved in her social skills. - Our main purpose for the mainstream. Other parents may think socializing is not that important compared to academics, but to us, it's the start to her survival skills.

          Since December, I sent her to piano class. Again. I requested on personal one to one instruction. Initially I accompanied her to give the teacher some idea on how to get her to follow instruction and concentrate on the lesson. So far, she is doing okay. She does seem to remember the notes taught and are more often cooperative than not. But we did not insist on the theory and written part of the lesson. She is also starting to show her musical instincts. Both her father and I love listening to music and we would often hum or sing anywhere and everywhere. My son got his father's talent in modifying lyrics into his own songs. As for my daughter, she has started humming the songs we have been singing AND fitting in her own 'words' in the music. hahaha.... try to imagine how her daddy smiles when she sang 'da di da di' to a popular song.

          As for my son, he thrived in his own way. He begged to go to arts classes and loves it. He still has his piano lessons, and is now planning for extra English classes outside too. He has more self control and very obedient. His kindergarten has water play every 2 weeks, and he never asked to play but instead reads or does his homework in class just because I told him he's not allowed to play with water in school. ( I do let him play with our water pool at home). I managed to get him to read books, magazines as pastime since we don't have television at home. He gets his dose of the TV at his grandmother after school. He is also his sister's little teacher. He'd sometimes think of some skills he wanted his sister to learn, and start teaching her. It is so endearing to see his persistence and the sister's willingness to follow his instructions. He is so ready to be a big brother that he has been praying aloud to God for a baby brother or sister. I am still not sure how to handle this request since both hubby and I have finally decided that we are really done with just 2.

          Anyway, after much thought last night, I am again gearing up for more lessons at home now that I feel more energetic and healthier. I hope I will have the persistence to be more consistent. I may not be posting as much, coz I think it'll be more of reading together and discussions, and working on my selection of 'school' books with a bit of arts and crafts thrown in. The montessori materials, flash cards and educational games and programmes will still be used - but they're all the same things that I've posted before. When I bought whole sets of 'curriculum', I fully intend to finish them. The different sets of whole programs could actually last until they are around 8-10 years old. I'm still adding quality reading materials to our collection in my effort to create a print-rich environment for them. (my main problem is that my daughter loves to tear the books apart). Since last November, I've added Legos to our list of creative work and the kids have been hanging around when I bake. (I told them mummy's learning and they are very curious to see what I'm baking. I hope this will ignite some interest in the kitchen too - home economics, right? hihi)

          Why trouble myself?
Sometimes, my colleagues would comment why do I need to spend so much energy on my children. They suggested me to just send them off to tuition centres and that's it. I don't have to buy or make the 'learning' materials and spend so much money, time and energy - and tire myself. But I think this is all worth it. My only regret is that I am not able to this full time. But I am grateful that my full time work does allow me to have more time to do all these. I am willing to search, research, spend money on materials, source out specific classes that I myself is not able to teach, and even learn some of the skills myself to be more able to guide my own children. But is this homeschooling? I guess in a way, it is - for my daughter. Since she's very young, though she does go to preschool and what nots, my purpose has always been the social and independence skills. I taught her her ABC's and 1,2,3's..... and all other things - at home. - and she gets to learn to generalise them in school. As for my boy, he is still young. I will still continue to teach him myself, focusing on his strength, and at the same time allowing him to learn the social aspect in the community (in kindy and in school) - and hopes that he'll grow into a well rounded person. I talked to him alot about the happenings in school and we discussed about almost everything we can think of. In a way, he is a mature little person.

          So, will I continue this when they are older?
Yes. It is my indefinite responsibility. I will continue to 'homeschool' my daughter based on her interests and strength. And there is a term 'afterschooling' for my son. - which means teaching him things other than the things he learns in school. This will mostly be about honing his interests and strength. As for now, I can see his interests and strength is in maths, arts and music. Besides, isn't this almost a norm for students who went to private schools here? They study international syllabus and at the same time they study for Malaysian Public examination too.

          Won't this be too much for him?
Well, I think with my knowledge of the public school system, I'll be able to adjust things accordingly. That is why he needs to learn to be disciplined and use his time wisely since young, so that he'll have the ability to organize his time wisely for both school work and his interests.

          He is still young. Give him a break.
 I have my responsibility to raise up children who are well-rounded and this starts right from the beginning of their life. Pampering and shielding them from the ugly side of the society won't help them. I hope for my children to grow up able to recognize the good and the bad - and to be able to handle them properly (which is why I discussed about life and issues with them even though they are still very young). Adult life doesn't start just like that. It is continuous, and one day when they suddenly find themselves faced with adulthood and it's responsibilities, I hope they will use all the skills they've learnt since young.
       

There is no right or wrong in parenting. The same goes for homeschooling, afterschooling  or flexischooling. Every household is unique and no one approach fits into every situation. This is what fits into my family for now. Who knows, it might change as my children grow?

It's a Saturday!

Made this as example.

By the 5 year old

by the 7 year old

I am still wondering....

       This is a post to be remembered, though I have yet to find out what was she thinking...
Anyway, as I was trying to get my girl to say 'good bye' to the grandparents, she went to dig into her basket of clothes at grandma's. I thought she wanted to change her shirt, but she pushed away all the shirts I offered her. She was looking for her school uniform. When she found it, she crammed it into my handbag - and ZIPPED it close! Hmmm.... looks like this girl misses school.
       When I reached home, I asked the brother to help me with the breakfast I bought for tomorrow, while I close the gate. I was very surprised when I see my girl coming out of the car with my hand bag! I have never successfully asked her to help me bring things from the car (except to get her own bag and water bottles). And she brought my hand bag into the house! hmmmm..... It's either because her school uniform is in the bag, or she felt that she wanted to help, since I asked the brother to help. I sure hope, it's the second. :)

It's the process that counts!

          The process for these are easy, and gave me opportunities to talk to her about 

1. colouring in circles (without worrying about colouring within the lines), 

2. draw lines for the feet, triangle for the beak and dots for the eyes. 

3. write a number 2 for the flamingo's neck

4. For the flowers, I guided her hands to just dab wet brush with the proper colours. 

5. A chance to go through her colour identifications too. (she pointed to the colours I 

    mentioned we will be using). 

6. It is also a chance for learning to imitate an art piece. I saved the picture for the 'Flowers 

    in a pot' in my smartphone and showed it to her, and as we painted, I encourage her to 

    refer to the picture. 

A flamingo

Chicks

Flowers in a pot

          

Today she cut her hair..... (sigh)

         

SIGH

          She did this before. Previously she would cut her hair whenever she can get her hand on a  pair of scissors. We gathered all scissors and kept them away from her sight. It has been quite awhile. And we kinda forgot this behaviour. Besides, we use scissors almost everyday, and the kid brother loves to do crafting with scissors. 

          So today, when I wasn't looking, she cut off a whole chunk of hair. Luckily this time her hair is rather long, at shoulder length. I had thought she has grown to love her hair that she would not want to have it cut. She wouldn't even let me tie it up. She loves to twirl and play with her hair, and I think she loves the feel of the hair on her shoulder. I UNDERESTIMATED her. sigh....  (wondering what was she thinking when she did this)

She cut her own cake.....

         Another sign of improvement in her self-help skills. (I've never thought of teaching her to do this). Hubby received a small Matcha cake for Teacher's Day. We cut a slice of it and placed it in a plate. Both of us actually disliked the taste and we left it on the table. 

And we placed the cake in the fridge.  But to my surprise, when I went into the kitchen later, I saw my daughter putting the plastic cake cutter on another plate (where I originally left it) My first thought was that she wanted to play with it. But one look at the other plate which supposedly contain only half a slice of cake, it has now a full slice. Hubby said that he did not cut another slice. My son was not at home. So, our conclusion was that my daughter actually opened the fridge, used the plastic cake cutter to cut the cake (not sure if she took it out of the fridge or she did it with the cake still in the fridge), and managed to place the new slice of cake on the plate. Wow... the very thought of her having to think in all these sequences, which were never taught to her... and doing them properly is just amazing to me. And to think that I have been told again and again by the 'professionals' that she needs to be taught everything and that she would have problems thinking in sequence.... way to go, girl! Prove them all wrong!

The cake after she sliced it. Not too perfect slice, but at least she did it.

* I am just raving about my daughter's latest achievements. I know that these angels grow and develop in their own pace, so it might not be anything significant to anyone else, except for me. But I am still proud of her. As I said before, any small improvement is an achievement in itself. Bravo, girl! 

* Now I have to find some other edible food products that used this Matcha thingy. It tastes terrible to me, but my daughter seems to love it. Suggestions anyone?

She's a person, first and foremost....

          I have been quietly observing my daughter for the past week. She has increased behaviour problem that blinked red alert to me. Last week, I totally forgot to be subtle in my discussion with the new speech therapist. My fault partly, in not remembering that my dear daughter understands our discussion, and the gist of the discussion might have hurt her. Deeply. This is just from my observation, analysis, and from my understanding of her personality.
         Ever since she was 2-3 years old, her group of 'therapist' teachers and I have noticed that she understands our conversations about her, and whenever we commented about something negative about her, her behaviour on that certain 'comment' will increase. For example, when one of the teacher noticed that my girl would tip toe while walking. Everyone would pay attention to her feet, and commented on it, and asked her to walk properly. Their 'diagnosis' was that she has sensory problems. I believed them at first. Until I noticed that she walks properly when no one remembers to point it out to her. Yup... I learnt from my mistake.
          From that time on wards, I kept reminding myself and the adults around her to not comment negative things about her. In fact, it would be better not to discuss in front of her. I think, we managed to prevent many unnecessary dramas and tantrums. Of course, along the way, we had many incidents that enforced my observations. Even my in-laws and my parents have to agree with me in this.
          Anyway, after the speech therapy last week, both hubby and I noticed that she almost cannot 'produce' proper sounds in her attempt to communicate with us. If previously she would readily greet her grandparents 'good bye' in chinese - we now have difficult time to make her even to say the first part 'Zhai' of the two words, 'Zhai Jian'. She would move her mouth, but the sounds were inappropriate, and in the end, she would be so frustrated that she cried. I hate to give in to her in such conditions, but forcing her to say 'good bye' until she cries is certainly not a good idea. (for those who doesn't understand, my girl used to cry whenever she did not want to do or say anything we asked of her - she cried to get away with things. Her crying used to be so unbearable, that most adults around her would give in to her - but I persevered... and I reap the benefits. My girl would only listen to my instructions, because she knows I mean whatever I say. - I do give in sometimes. Being nonverbal is not her choice. But in such way that I made sure that she gave her best before I let her go.)
          In the past week, besides being subdued, her stimming seemed to increase. She kept making 'EMMMM.......... sounds. all. the. time. I'd be lying if I say it did not get on my nerves. She would find things like bottles, books, key chains, CD's and tapped the things while 'emmmmmmmm' ing. I almost threw all those things away. I knew something is not right.
         On Saturday, when I tried to talk to her, she refused my contact. She still wants to sleep with me, but if I start talking, she would turn away. And she doesn't look happy. If anything, my girl is usually 'glued' to me. She refused to go to daddy, unless she knew I am angry with her. She knows me in my different moods, and knows how to choose her battles. In certain things, such as food or certain things I will not give to her, she would directly go to her daddy or even her brother. If I got angry with her, and she knows it's her fault, she would cry until I console her. But in this case, she did not cry. She did not even come to me for comfort, as she usually did. And she looked so serious the whole day.
          I was sure that we hurt her feelings when we discussed about her, and the thing that strikes me, actually hurt her more. The 'prediction' that she has a long, long time to go for her speech to develop, the query as to why I stopped her PECS training, and the possibility of using sign language with her..... all these in front of her. The bleak predictions hurt me. I am sure, she felt it too.
          I was desperate to make things right for her. In addition to the use of essential oils I diffused to balance her emotion, I tried to talk to her when she is sleeping. I kept telling her that I am sorry for what was said, and reaffirm her improvements over the years. Most important is that I love her. That we all love her. When awake, I pulled her for a quick bear hug several times, even as she resisted. (This was what I did in the first few years when she refused human contact) and it worked.
         Today, I am happy to note that she is back to her usual smilling little character, though her stimming hasn't decreased to the point that is less irritating. At least she did smile 'cheekily' as I questioned her need to bring all her soft, cuddly toys downstairs on the sofa when I asked her to have her afternoon nap. And she did sleep. She waited until her brother was asleep, and I can accompany her. She was asleep in less than 2 minutes... on the sofa she claimed for herself, with her soft toys all over the place.
          Why am I writing this? This is just to remind myself.... and everyone else. A child with Autism is first and foremost, a person. If we look beyond her label, we will see a sweet girl, struggling to fit in this complicated world we live in. They don't call these children 'Angels' for nothing.
         I still have to work out how to decrease her stimming. But it is all work in progress....

3rd...

          There's a saying, Once bitten, Twice shy'. In our case, it's 'Once bitten, Twice shy, Third immune.' I guess having a child with special needs made us tough. We faced rejection, one after another where ever we go - that it's becoming a lifestyle and expected.

          Last year, I posted about the 2 enhancement centers that rejected my daughter. Their reasons were : unable to sit still, needs constant supervision, non-verbal etc. As usual, they tried to be nice and told me perhaps when she's older she will be able to attend the classes. Yeah, I was bummed. And totally depressed. I think it took me a few weeks come to terms with their rejection. Especially when the second center actually advertised that they ACCEPT special needs. Yeah, RIGHT. 

          Well, I did learn about another center that is 'very good' with special needs children. Last year. But I didn't do anything. It was recommended by a friend whose son has special needs, and improved tremendously after attending the classes there for 2 years. I didn't do anything. Besides, the son was verbal and does rather well academically. I should have known.

          But last month, I met with another friend, whose son was of the same age as my daughter. He was, well, very different from before. I think I've not seen him for 2 years. His is now verbal and doing rather well in a mainstream class. I would be lying if I said I'm not envious. In fact, I met her outside the speech therapist room, after the new therapist who has seen her for only the second time told me my daughter have a long, long way to go for her speech to develop. The new therapist also brushed off all the words she managed to say as just 'sounds' that are similar to the words. In short, my daughter is totally non-verbal. I felt that I was back to square one - starting off right from the beginning - to when she was just 18 months old. When the friend told me to try this other center that her son went to, which by the way teaches on one to one setting. The teacher will have 5 students at one time, but she has an assistant to accompany the others while she concentrate on one at a time. It sounds good. I should have known better.

          We sent her to the center for a trial class. But not after explaining to the teacher of what to expect from her. Well, all I can say is, it didn't work. The principal was at loss in his words, after telling me what happened : she wouldn't come to the table after being called, and she ran here and there. I told the principal, I am fine with this. I felt that there is no need to explain that my daughter needs more time to get used to the setting and teachers before she would comply to anyone. As usual, I was told that perhaps she could try again after she is a bit older. Yeah... I don't think waiting for her to get older is an option. She is 7 years old now. If I am to wait for her to be verbal, able to sit still and do all the other things teachers expect her to do before I start teaching her anything. It would be too late. 

          A well meaning friend asked me what exactly do I want for her. I just wanted her to be able to function in this complicated world. But in order to do that, she needs more than personal life skills. She needs to have a way to communicate with people, instead of having other people trying to understand and read her body language. The society will not be that kind and patient to her. I wanted her to at least talk, or even if she can't talk very well, at least she could write. I've heard of a student who never say a word in school, but writes his answer to anyone who talks to him. I am fine if my child can do this too. To excel in academic is not a priority to us, but to me, I still teach her her school syllabus (with a little modification) to expose her to the vocabulary and knowledge. To me, she is still a person. She still can absorb things. She still needs mental stimulation just like anyone else.
        Many may ask why then don't I send her to a special needs school. Well, all I can say is, it will be my last option. The closed and protected setting may sound very good, but the problem is she will never have contact with any typical children to learn their typical ways of handling the world. I may sound selfish, but trust me, my heart ache everyday with any sign of anything that goes wrong in her school. But this is tough love. I cannot and will not be able to shelter her forever. 

       In the close setting of our home, she is such a sweet little girl. Though she does have some non typical behaviour, she is generally very obedient and compliant. I just love her smiles and hugs. She makes me smile and grateful for all her little achievements. But my heart ache for her at the thought of the possibility of her being confined in this small world and only able to venture out when we are around to supervise. :(

A glimpse into our 'school'... (Joy)

          I admit that I started a few months late into their school year. For the first 2 months, I was focused on my work, and trying to get my daughter's teachers to accept her in school. The emotional roller coaster during that time was intense. Before their 1st mid term examination, I started helping my son with his revision. It's a wake up call to me - that he needs my attention too, in his study. During the short 1st mid term holiday, I gathered my materials and tried to sort out what I needed and how I am going to teach.
          This teaching journey with my daughter has been so electic, that I could not be sure of what method suits her the best. I always have to diversify my teaching methods, using different materials to teach the same concept over and over again. But I also realized that I need something simple enough so that I won't feel inadequate and give up. (I've given up so many times, and had to start all over again when I am more emotionally calm)
          Anyway, I opted to be optimistic. Well, I don't have much choice here. So I gathered workbooks which follows her school curriculum from the local bookstore. In fact, I got almost all the books from all the publishers, except for the ones sold out. Then I got to work, using the worksheets maker online, creating worksheets for both my kids, based on their school books. My plan is simple. I'd help my daughter go through the exercises from each unit several times, from several workbooks. - never mind the fact that she starts way behind her school mates. (we started from unit 1, - I think her school reached unit 6 or 8, for different subjects). For certain exercise/assessments requiring her to read, I would either skip or get her to write the words, and I'll read it several times to her, while explaining the meaning. I am still trying to gauge her understanding and ability in certain subjects, but I can detect somehow that she is able to do more than we gave her credit for (due to her being non-verbal).
          I am still holding her hands in trying to get her to write. But I can sometimes loosen my grip and simply touch-hold her. In other words, I did not help her hand or fingers to move the pencil. A little nudge would most of the time get her writing. One thing for sure, now I know she knows how to copy words.  What I am not sure is, sometimes I am pretty sure she moved her hand and fingers and wrote some numbers (up to teens), or some alphabets. But somehow, she would suddenly unable to do them at times, with only writing "O". It is at times like this I would be very frustrated. I have yet to find out the cause for this. I would like to think of myself as accepting enough of her condition and ability to not imagined her previous 'writing or counting' ability. Sigh..... Any insight anyone?

Nice to know I am appreciated.

          The memory stays with me. Last night was the first time (after a rather long time) I talked to my daughter, and she responded. I'd like to think that she really feel the need to answer me verbally, because she thinks it is important.
          I was actually too angry at the time with something that she did. A few smacks on her palm, I kept to myself, waiting for my heart beat to return to normal. (yeah, I was that angry, that my heart beat was racing). After I calmed down, I told her to come to me for some 'talking to'.
          I remember I asked her " Why did you have to do this to make me so angry? Don't you want me anymore? Do you want mommy?" I think I repeated this a few times. She just stood there, looking at me, quietly.
           But, every time I asked " Do you want mommy?" - she would make some noise, as if responding. And hubby agreed that she is actually trying to say 'Yao" (Yes/I want mommy).
Well, what can I say? My heart melted..... :)

Fever experience with EO and The little things that counts....

        It has been two weeks after my last post. Nothing much, except that we were all pretty busy with revisions, school exams etc, etc. And on top of it, my daughter had a bout of fever. We succeeded not giving her antibiotics, though it's clear that she's having inflammation in the throat, and not eating or drinking much. Sigh, every time she gets sick, it shows. I think she lost at least 1 kg this time. Anyway, though we managed without the antibiotics, we still gave her medicine for her fever. I monitored her temperature diligently, and on the first day, I wasn't going to take the chance of only depending on the essential oils. But I managed to prolonged the time she had to take the medicine, instead of every 4 hours, she only took the medicine after 8 hours or longer. From this experience, I learnt that (with my nervous personality), the essential oils certainly helps if you detect the fever coming very early on. On the first day, as her fever reached 38 degree, I did not dare to wait for the essential oils to do it's work. By the end of the second day, her fever is rather mild, at 37.6 and below. I used Peppermint and Frankincense (diluted with Coconut Oil) on her as often as I possibly can and monitored her temperature. I can see her temperature going up a little after 2-3 hours, but after applying the essential oils, it goes down again in less than 1 hour. She was well again by the 4th day.
          Though I am relieved to have found some alternative to antibiotics, it wasn't at all easy. With only a dose or two a day of antibiotics, we can be sure that it can help curb the inflammation and help with the fever. With essential oils, I had to be diligent in applying them, in order for it to be effective. But I have to remember that essential oils are not medicines and should not be treated as such when using it to deal with sicknesses.
 *But as a reminder, though essential oils are not medicine, too much of a good thing can be detrimental too, thus, in the case of having children in the house, please store it away safely like any other medicines you have.*

          Other than that, I am happy to see more improvements in my daughter. She added another phrase into her spoken vocabulary (an Zhang/ dirty). The situation was that she played with something and her hands were dirty. At the same time, my mother asked her to shake hands with a neighbour. My daughter looked at her hands and replied " An Zhang/dirty" she said this so clearly, that the 2 neighbours who assumed that my daughter could not speak were very surprised.

          At home, I have been guiding her with her Maths homework. I am very happy to note some difference in her. But first, I had to admit that I have not been doing one to one with her for at least 1 month - there should be no acceptable reasons for this, so I would spare you the details. Anyway, as I held her hands and guided her to count the pictures one by one, I asked her to count by herself, as I kept quiet. When we finished marking (cancelling) all the pictures, I asked her to write the correct number beside it - she could actually do this. I can feel her hands moving to the shape of the numbers (I relaxed my grip on her hands and let her guide my hand). When I praised her, she looked at me and smiled happily.

         Since it's school holiday, we did this almost everyday, and I am happy to see her coming to the table after just a gentle call, waiting to do her work, and patiently trying to finish her work as I tried to prolong her sitting time at the table. I have yet to note how long is the time she could actually sit there and do her work, but for now, I am content. We'll do this slowly, step by step....

       I am reminding myself again and again, that she has come a long way and I believe she still has a long way to go.....

Thanks to essential oils???

          13/3/2014
          Ermm.... why the question marks? Well, I am not prepared to be so convinced that every little changes or development in my daughter is due to the oils. But, I am almost 80% believer. It does seem to have it's efficiency in mild sicknesses around the house. At least my itchy throat and 3 months wheezing cough just disappeared when I wasn't noticing. It was like one day, hey, I am not coughing anymore. I have not taken any medicine after a few rounds of those in the first 2 months. I decided to let it decide when it wanted to go - while using the oils.
         The second experience with the oils was when the son suddenly vomited twice in one night, and was rather listless the second day. He lacked appetite and we did not dare to feed him too much in case he vomit again. The doctor asked me to look down his throat and it was reddish, and he's starting with fever. We opted not to take the antibiotic. I gave him a dose of the doctor's medicine before he goes to sleep. I also wiped his whole body with warm water added with a drop of Peppermint essential oil. The whole night, I got up several times to apply Frankincense and Peppermint on his throat. His fever did not go up at all. The next day, he didn't take any medicine since his temperature is okay. But he is still having difficulty eating, due to his throat inflamation. I applied Frankincense and Peppermint on him every 10-15 mins after I got home from work. I also applied Peppermint on his stomach, due to the wind. (according to the doctor, there's wind that causes him to vomit). I am so glad that he is back to his usual self the 3rd day. He's eating and as naughty as before. And he told me that the 'bacteria' is scared of the oils.... hihihi
         
          As for the girl, I was rather reluctant to attribute everything to the oils so soon, since I know she is and will keep on improving as she grows. What I noticed was that a few weeks after using the oils, especially DDR and vetiver, my daughter's few attempts in pronunciation were quite clear. She still has very limited vocabulary. But the words are clearer. A very recent example was on Wednesday, when I woke her up in the morning, I called out to her ' Good Morning, XXX!'. I do this every morning, without expecting her to answer. The most she would do is to smile at me, or to wave her hand, indicating her acknowledgement. But on Wednesday, she replied clearly 'Good Morning' (Zhao / pause / An). I was shocked, and quickly praised her. She just smiled at me. The same thing happened on the next day but Hubby was skeptical. So, this morning, after getting her to say good morning to me, I almost kicked hubby to wake him up. in his sleepy state, I asked my daughter to say 'good morning' again. With a little prompt, she did. And this time, hubby acknowledged that it's very clear. I hope this will continue.

          I decided to write some sort of chronological account of any differences we noticed in her, so that it may be referred to in future, with as little 'imagination' from me as possible. I wanted this to be something I can depend on.

17/3/2014

         I am so happy today. My mother in law just told me today that my dear daughter has been wiping herself clean after a biggie in the toilet, for the past week. I was rather busy last week, and arrived home only in time for dinner. My daughter has a rather regular bowel movement, and always goes to the toilet in the afternoon. MIL told me she would just fold the toilet paper and handed it to my daughter. My daughter would then step down from the toilet bowl and wipe herself. She would even check and turn it the other side to wipe the second time! I was really surprised to hear this. In fact, MIL said it was not only one time, but several times over the week, including today!
         I was trying to keep my excitement in check, and asked if there were other improvements. She told me that my daughter has been playing hide and seek more often with her brother. The brother would hide, and she would search for him (after a prompt from grandmother).
          Praying for more to come! Amen!

We're happily surviving.... :)

          Three weeks passed by after a rather 'speechless' experience.. I am happy to note that it hasn't resulted in what was 'expected' to happen. Well, I mean, what those people expected to happen anyway.
          Life goes on for us. It's almost exam season, with my son having a pre-test for 2 weeks. The real 1st exam for him will be in another 2 weeks. Both hubby and I were trying to do revisions with him. Since we've restricted his TV time to only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays (after lessons), he is quite compliant to finish his revisions first before having his entertainment. As for the weekdays, he already have 2 nights of Chinese enrichment classes which are helping him with his Chinese. (His momma is illiterate in Chinese). We will send him to a Suku Kata BM class on Friday starting in March, which after a trial test last night, he happily agreed to go. We did not force him to attend any classes that he have no interest in. So far, the enrichment center he goes to operates on the basis of Learning through Play - and he loves playing.
          In the afternoons whenever I am free, I'll help both to do their homework or revision. At nights, we would all be asleep by 8pm. (usually).
          Another purpose of this post was to happily report my new adventure in using essential oils.

A colleague introduced me to the benefits of essential oils. As usual, my thoughts went right to my children. My boy, who often has flu and fever and my daughter, who needs help in her speech, anxiety, sensory and others. After a few weeks of research on the internet, I placed orders on several bottles of essential oils, which I think might help with my children. They are not cheap, and the bottles are small. As advised, I bought their unscented body lotion to mix blends of essential oils I'll be using everyday. 

For the money I spent on these little bottles, I wanted to make sure that it's kept properly. I can only fit 2 bottles of essential oils into these cute glass containers. I've read somewhere that the best way to store essential oils is to keep them in glass containers and away from the sun. I simply stacked these containers in a small paper bag which I can carry around the house when needed. 

          As for their efficiency, I just LOVE Peppermint. I'd bring it around in my handbag and dabbed it behind the ears for the instant 'good feel' whenever I felt sluggish. The aroma of Peppermint in the car gives me instant energy to focus in my driving too. 

          I mixed Frankincense, Balance, OnGuard and Breathe in the lotion I use on my children. Every morning, before I go to work, I'll wipe them clean with warm cloth, gently massage the lotion along the spine, behind the ears, on the chest area and a dab of Breath on the throat (for the boy). Then I'll massage it on their foot before wearing their socks. I used InTune (in a roll on bottle) behind the ears and along the spine for both of them too. I'll do this again in the afternoon, after their bath and at night before they go to bed. I started this routine on 17th of February.

          I asked hubby last night, if he notice any difference in the children after I started using the essential oils. We both agree that the boy (who already has the flu when I started using the oils on him) is no longer having blocked nose. No, we did not give him any medicine. It was a mild flu, and I did not think it was necessary.

          As for the girl, she surprised us even more. (I am not sure if it's due to the oils, as she surprises us all the time, especially when we are not expecting it). We kept a children's bicycle in a spare living room at my MIL's. The children play in there everyday, but only my son will use the bicycle and cycle around the house. MIL reported that for the past week, my dear daughter would take the initiative to cycle around the room all by herself. Usually, she had to be forced to climb onto the bicycle. And MIL also told me that the kids are playing hide and seek recently, with the boy hiding, and the girl (had to be prompted by grandma) searched for him. When she found him, she'd tap on his head. - I can only say WOW!

        Whenever I came home early from work, just in time to accompany them for lunch, I find that she is feeding herself more. She no longer waits for grandmother to feed her. (unless she is not feeling hungry)

          Yesterday, my father in law reported yet another surprise. My daughter willingly shared her snacks with her classmates!! (both hubby and I were overjoyed!) This is one of the target we had for her in school. The classmate was actually standing there, watching my daughter eat her biscuits. Without being prompted, my daughter handed her 2 biscuits - all by herself! :) It might not sound great for other children, but my daughter, whom the teachers said is locked in her own world - is noticing her classmate watching her eating her snacks, and perhaps she understands that the classmate wanted some of the snacks too. I just can't wait for more miracles to happen!!!!

          And I can't wait for the rest of the essential oils to arrive. Perhaps I'll get a diffuser in future, if the oils proved their worth. I'll give them time. Time and Prayer.

Speechless.... (but I am coping.... blerk)

         Sigh.... I know I needed to put this down in writing. One day, I hope to go back to this post and tell myself, "phew, we went though all that? and we survived? and everything is soooo ok now, that no one would believe we actually went through all this."
 
         Yup! I am clinging onto my motherly instinct, knowing that one day things will turn out as we'd hoped it would be. Just as God had planned - (hopefully).

         To cut the story short, the teachers, ie the counsellor cum the remedial teacher of my daughter's school kept pestering my father in law to ask me to go to school to have a 'talk' with her. Yeah, the hubs went once, (when she asked for both of us - I chickened off the last minute), and she did not manage to get her 'message' and 'good intentions' through to him. Simply said - they did not manage to get us to transfer her to a Special Needs school. I am very determined to ride through this phase, and of course, hubby is right beside me. Little did the teacher know that I was the 'mastermind' behind all this. (heheheh, evil laugh)
          When I did not show up at her school after the CNY holiday, I started getting missed calls from school. (On the Saturday both hubby and I planned to go to the school, but I am only free after 12, coz I have to be in school too. My school.) - I reminded them that as educators ourselves, we all have almost the same working hours. How could she expect me to be there in school the moment she asked? She even dared to ask me to take leave from school - well, just to go to have a 'talk' with them? - I'd rather not. I mean, it's not like my daughter has been creating havoc in school or something, that needs my immediate intervention.
         When we were finally there - well, the whole experience left me speechless. As an educator myself, I felt ashamed to be in the same line of work as them. I had never have problems dealing with parents before - most of the time, I'd try to solve problems internally, in school - preventing parents heartache and trouble, having to come to school, to deal with their child's problems in school, WHICH are supposed to be handled by the teachers. Of course, unless the problem was too big to be solved, involving many parties. - that would be another story.
       
         Getting back to my daughter's school, all I heard from them was resentment of the extra work they have to do in order to cope with her. Please, with only 26 students, compared to 30++ and 40++ students in other schools, I would expect them to be more considerate and attentive towards their students. I don't expect them to pay one to one attention to my daughter, as there are 25 other students they have to care for. But they gave me the impression that their duty is only to teach academics and get them to pass the assessments. Any other character building, self independence skills are non of their business.
          I can't go through all the things they said to us that day. It's equal to nightmare to me. I can't believe myself for handling my emotions so well that day, by nodding and smiling , and apologizing for all the trouble they had faced. I had thought I'd be aggressive and questioned their motivation in choosing this line of profession. - Well, I wasn't, and I was rather glad I did what I did, hoping that the teachers would slowly try to understand us, and show a little more love and care towards my daughter - instead of resenting her and resenting her parents for not cooperating.
        In case you are wondering, there are a few things they said that stabbed me in the heart. Actually we had to face a group of 5 teachers (teaching her class) One of the teacher started off with the complaint that my daughter has been taking other students' things. My response was - did she returned them? The teacher answered, yes, she would return the things when the students asked her. My next response was, : well, it's good that she is willing to return the things. But, I commented that my daughter's things (pencils, erasers, rulers, pencil sharperners) has been missing since the first week of school. Guess what was her response? "Oh, that one I don't know. You have to ask the class teacher." (yeah, she dismissed it just like that) and the class teacher were sitting there, saying nothing.
        And their famous 'quote' of the day? "I don't have time to notice her. I don't have time to pay more attention to her. I don't have time to discipline her. and when we are busy with the lessons and assessments, we will just put her aside" Wow ..... how to answer that?
         As a mother, I was crushed. But little did they know that the more difficult it is, the more determined I am. I know my daughter. I know what she needs. I am determined to give her the best environment - even if it means, I will have a tainted image of a selfish, irresponsible mother. Yeah - one of the teacher told my husband that if it were her child, she would directly put her in the special needs class - Yeah. IF. I might be weak, I get stressed. I cried. I lost my sleep over this, I might even suffer from thyroid due to the stress (in the process of diagnose), But after the process, I'll emerge stronger. Like they say, do not annoy a woman. ESPECIALLY a mother.
          I kept repeating to the teachers, to take time to understand her. (it'll be another post, on how the headmistress finally admits to me some of the things she just discovered about my daughter - which are good things) If only the teachers are willing to give her some more time, especially the first few years. I am keeping track with my daughter's overall improvements -

In speech : (she makes more sounds nowadays and called me 'mama' several times this week (when I asked her, sigh - it has been quite awhile),

Social skills : (which the teachers did comment that she is playing with the classmates), her latest feat : giving flying kiss when required to say good bye.... hihihi (nope, I didn't teach her that), and she have friends in school! : they would hold her hands and guide her patiently to go down the staircase. (she's still afraid of going down unfamiliar staircase. No problem in going up. The computer class is upstairs)

Independence skills (going to the toilet and back (no more accidents in the class) by herself, going to the school hall, computer room, and back to class - with friends or by self, sitting properly in class during recess time - eating from her lunch box), and I'm glad she knows how to fight for her rights. (she was absent from school a few days, due to fever, and when she's back to school, she saw that her seat has been taken by another student. Other students told her to go and sit at the back - but she refused, and shoved herself onto her seat, forcing the other student to give in and return to her seat at the back- my father in law was there and saw the whole process, and no, she did not hurt the other girl while shoving herself onto her own seat. :)

In academics : One of the teacher even mentioned that she actually pulled the teacher's hand to help guide her to write her work. (I told the teachers that she is now in a phase where she can actually recognize and write the alphabets, but she lacks confidence, thus needs someone to touch her, even if it's only on her wrist - she can write, or even copy some of the words) - but the teachers' response was - NO TIME. sigh

          I am open to any type of changes if it's to her best interest. I might even apply for her Special needs card and send her to a special needs school in future - IF she is still not able to cope in the mainstream. But for the time being - I firmly believe the mainstream environment is the best environment for her. Besides, I can't shield her from the negative side of human nature forever. My daughter is a tough girl. She can be as stubborn when she wants to. And most importantly : I believe in her. I believe that God has a grand plan for her and time will reveal everything.
       
       

I'm so happy!!!!!!!

          Okay, this might be just me over-reacting. But still, I am VERY happy with my daughter today. Well, so happy that I didn't have time to take photos and can't wait to sit down and write this post.
         
          To make long story short, she was playing and exploring upstairs when she suddenly came down with the writing exercise I kept in our study upstairs. I printed a whole stack of the exercise and guided her to write them almost everyday since the semester starts.

          I asked her why is she bringing the papers down. Does she want to write? Her answer? A big 'Yes'. (in chinese). I almost jumped out of my chair and quickly set up the chairs. (I did have a shorter table for their activities in the living room, but as I need to find another small chair to sit with her, she climbed onto my chair in my work area). And to my surprise, I discovered that she could actually do simple copywork. The exercise was printed off a homeschooler's blog (I need to find the address again) and was supposed to target sight words practice. The words were printed with boxes under the words for copywork practices. When I started this exercise with her, I would point to the word, letter by letter, while saying it out loud. With me holding her hands, grasping the pencil, I'd guide her writing, helping with the letters she's having trouble with, and loosening my hold when I can feel her moving the pencil in the correct direction.

          Well, it might be the first time, some may tell me that it's coincidence or whatever... I totally believe that she is in another phase of handwriting now. She can copy the letters, and write some of the letters. I just have to think of a way for her to have the confidence to write without me holding her hands. Off to thinking..... lalalalala