Learning progress 4/10/2015 - 11/10/2015

I've mentioned and attempted several times over these years to teach my daughter to learn academically.  A few times I'd managed to stick to a schedule for a few weeks, sometimes a few months- but in the end, life happens and I'd stop. Having high expectations causes deep frustrations in me. For almost 2 years, after she entered primary school,  I've stopped focusing on her academic skills and decided to lower my expectations to only having her not causing troubles in school and learning independent life skills.
          Once in a while,  I'd get her to do some written work, but never expecting much from her. I'd hold her hands and guided her to write - with the intention of introducing the knowledge,  while I explained in as simple way as possible the work being done. I think I've sort of given up getting her to write independently but still hoping that she'd learn something.
          Anyway, God's gentle nudge prompted me to start teaching her to write again. I almost gave up - the 2nd day. She had me crying and boiling inside throughout the day. Being pregnant, I tried hard to control my emotions but failed. I was so disappointed with myself.
          But somehow God decided that I should not give up now. Deep inside,  I felt something kept reminding me to see the readiness in my child. Yes! She does show signs of readiness in learning academically. Several times we 'caught' her peeking at her brother when he is doing his homework.  She'd come over to have a look when the brother complained about some difficult work. Whenever I asked her to come to the table for some work,  she'd willingly come. And whenever I 'helped' her with her maths addition - I'd sometimes feel her hands moving against mine as she attempted to write numbers - at times, the movement is correct.  Plus, she is showing reaction when I praised her for doing her 'homework'. After every exercise,  she'd look at me expectantly. If these aren't readiness - tell me what should I look for....
          On the 3rd day, I decided to try a different approach. I prepared a glass of milk for myself and acted as if I don't expect much from the lesson.  With a neutral tone, I had her trace her numbers 1 and 2 - sometimes just touching her little pinky to get her going. I praised her for good writing but quietly held her hands to correct the wrong ones.
          By the 4th day, she did it! She independently wrote her number 1, with enough strength and pencil control (written within the boxes).  Then we proceeded to number 2. She seemed to have gained more confidence and followed instructions to hold her pencil correctly with the other hand holding on to the sheet of paper, AND have her eyes on the paper while writing. After a few tracings,  she'd look at me for confirmation - we praised her profusely!  I try to build her confidence by having her trace the number 2 (I wrote with light coloured pencil colour) and purposely leaving a few boxes blank here and there.
         By the 6th day, she could write the number 2 without tracing. Isn't that something!!!
         What I have learned from this week is that every child is different.  I believe that she will reach her milestones in her own time. But - I will have to be attentive and alert to her signs of readiness to each milestone and work on them when the time comes. The Montessori concept emphasizes on respecting the child and to teach each child when they are ready.
         I pray that this time I will be more consistent to slowly get her to love learning academically and to continue to improve.


          I shouldn't neglect my son's progress too. For the past months,  he has discovered the fruits of hard work. In his eagerness to receive presents in kindergarten for being in the 1st to 4th position, he told me he wanted me to help him with his revisions prior to his mid year test. The beginning of the year, he got the 5th position and could only look on as his peers receive presents. 2 weeks before his tests, I did intensive revision with him ( while discovering his weaknesses in certain subjects :(, which I didn't really notice before) I created and printed worksheets after worksheets and drilled him with his spelling and surprisingly - he did not complain! He did shed a few tears, when he made mistakes in the worksheets and spelling - but he persevered. The end result - he got the 4th position. He was elated! We celebrated and bought him his favourite comics and made a big fuss of him (while reminding him how his hard work paid off)
          He couldn't stop talking about it that I took this opportunity to get him on track for a good study routine - preparing him for a more gruelling primary 1 life.
          Together with his sister - on the same day - I took the risk of tiring myself - I prepared daily schedule for him. He has the freedom to do whichever of the 4 to 5 items of reading/exercises I prepared for the day - in return for a sticker. He has to promise me not to ask or 'beg' for ipad or tv time during school days nor to complain about his workload. (More for my sanity) I do however, reduce his work when he looks tired.
          So, my son has been on daily schedule for a week too. He learned to quickly finish his work and he is free to read his comics and play. On Friday, he'll have 6 stickers (we start from Sunday) to enable his access to ipad games we downloaded (no wifi for videos). He can have the ipad until Saturday but he still has a few light items to do in his schedule like colouring and flash cards revision. (My time to relax :)  I am hoping that we can continue with this pace through the next 6 weeks of school. Then we'll have around 5 weeks of school holiday where I need to work on his weaker subjects. Hopefully by next year, I won't have difficulty getting him into the primary 1 rhythm without having to send him to tuition classes. Praying hard. :)

Getting back into a routine

      After my last post, I really beat myself up for even considering to choose between myself and my children. Trust me. It's not a pleasant feeling. I mean, the world has been harping about how a mother would sacrifice everything for her children and here I am being out of the box. But I have been quickly reminded by well meaning friends - of how important to first take care of myself if I wanted to take good care of my children.

          So I did. I continued with my exercise routines and added some herbal supplements to better care for myself mentally and physically. And I expanded my latest craze of gardening. Well, not exactly gardening since I only have a few pots of flowers in my car porch. But I find that caring (spraying them with water when I have time) is therapeutic. One of the reasons I chose resilient plants - succulents, and indoor plants which will not die so easily.

These are my first few pots. Aren't they pretty?

And I managed to save this from dying. A few weeks back, this does not have a single part that shows it's green and bright yellow leaves. 

I have re-established  a study routine for my children and we are finding our groove. 

So far, so good. 

I try to take a relaxed approach. My present plan is to help my daughter to go through all those kindergarten workbooks (selected worksheets). My goal is to help her to revise the concepts and to introduce more knowledge whenever possible. She is not writing independently yet. So for now I'll just hold her hands and let her feel the flow in writing. (I still think /feel that she knows how to write some numbers and alphabets and she needs time to gain her confidence to write independently)

As for my son, I am trying to teach him to learn to have the self control to study amid temptation (television). Whenever I will be late in the afternoon, I'll prepare a list of spelling test and some worksheets for him to finish while waiting for me at his grandmother's place. This way, I do not worry that he has too much screen time. So far he has been compliant and willingly follow my instructions - cox he loves his screen time that much. (shrug)

          I also reintroduce most of the supplements I gave my daughter in the past years. Last year I stopped giving her supplements (except for vitamin C) - my  main reasoning was that we did not actually know what are these supplements doing for her. I guess we will never know for sure. Since I reintroduced the supplements, we do start to hear good comments from mil about her (we did not tell her when we started her on these supplements). But one thing for sure - as I chose only natural and mostly gluten free supplements, they will help with her general well being and definitely wont harm her. 

With a healthier, happier mother, a routine, health supplements and the essential oils for the children and the parents, I hope this year will be a better year for all. It might be too late to say this - but still - 

Wishing everyone a wonderful year 2015. 

A guilt post

          Something happened that triggered my 'guilt' button yet again. This time the alarm rang loud and clear - I can't shake it off. My mind can't stop shuffling through the past, present and future. And I started to vent. in the last few months, I've tried to look at the positives in my life - especially when it's anything related to my children.

          We have been going to and fro with our decisions where to register our son for his Primary school next year. I can't discuss the details here - but let's just say that we can't make the final decision due to our uncertainty with the sister. Having to rely on my father in law to drive and fetch them to school adds to more aspect for consideration. (we finally gave in and sent in the special needs application form for a card as requested by her school and the card enables her to be accepted in a special needs class when the need arises)

          We went to see my daughter's headmaster to know more about her condition in school. It wasn't very encouraging, though not as bad as I'd expected. We drove to the few schools in our consideration and talked about the pros and cons. - yet no conclusion.

          My mother in law's sudden decision to have her knee operation jolted us out of our comfort zone once again. If she have her operation during the school year, who is going to take care of my children - especially my daughter? I do not resent her for her decision because it's for her own health improvement. But the sudden decision forced me to think hard. Who?

          My own parents are not as healthy as they used to be. Relying on them would not be ideal. And truthfully, I am getting impatient with all these trials every now and then. It seems that God has to keep me on my toes at all times - throwing a problem my way to be solved every once in a while.

          Last year, we went through a period where my mil fell and hurt her knees. I had to rush home right after work to feed and bathe them and on certain days, even bring them to work. We had to cook meals for the whole day early in the morning before going to work. Mind you, I had to be in school by 6.30am - if anyone reading this felt that all those work are not that big of a burden. I wake up before 5am - rush through everything and be at work by 6.30am. In the afternoon, I will only be back, the earliest at 1.30pm or 4.30pm when there's extra work to do. By the time I got back home, I do not have time to rest and have to get on with housework and the children. With my own health deteriorating (stress eating and falling sick every few weeks) and lack of enough rest, this is the period when I totally slacked off in my 'home schooling' for my children - especially my daughter. My focus at the time was to get through the day.

        That was about half a year ago.

          In fact, since last year I have been looking around for after school day care and nursery that is willing to take on my daughter for a few hours after school - until I get back from work. None are willing.

          Add the stress of work performance to the lot - I am only surviving.

          Then I decided that enough is enough. I added into my long list of to do list - the need to lose weight and be healthy. I decided that for me to cope with all these, I needed to be healthy. Not only healthy - but super charged with energy.

          Fast forward to the present : with another wake up call (MIL deciding to have operation) : It is hard not to be discouraged. I called a few people and asked for help to keep an eye on my children for a few hours after they come home from school. None are willing.

          I can't sleep well at night. And I have headaches all day long trying to think of a solution. Though in the end my father agreed to come once or twice (driving 45 minutes from my hometown) every week, my heart is still not at peace. 

          I am well aware that this is temporary. After this period, there will be others. And the main consideration is my daughter. As she grows older, she has her own behaviours that prompted people to decline taking care of her. I do not blame them, though my heart hurts. Really hurts. My daughter has nowhere to go.

          I observed her hard and started to make lists of her pros and cons. I analysed her. I compared and analysed what went wrong. I compared my own determination and motivation. The past few years and the present. 

          I do not like what I see. 

          Because the main 'act' has to come from me. In the early years of her diagnosis, I pushed myself to the limit. I hardly let myself stop for a breather. I was so focused on her. We see much growth and improvement. Though not as we'd expected, but improvement nevertheles. - but later realized that all those has taken it's toll on myself. I gained weight from stress eating. I get sick all too often. I feel tired all the time. My self confidence and self identity went down the drain. With that - colleagues started to doubt my ability to perform at work. I started to doubt my own ability to perform. I loved teaching. But it has become mechanical. My heart is no longer there. As I scrolled down my own FB account - I can see how angry a person I have become. What did I let myself turn into?

         The recent 3-4 months has me feeling like a new person. With hubby's support and push, I started losing weight and picked myself up. I get my confidence back. I can feel my previous passion in my work. I feel renewed. But at the expense of my daughter. For the past year, I tried to ignore her negative behaviours and focus only on her positives. But doing this doesn't make the negatives go away. In fact - they get worse. What can I do? does this mean I can only choose between my own well being and hers? How do  I get a balance between the two? Is there even such a thing? 

          

It's a Saturday!

Made this as example.

By the 5 year old

by the 7 year old

Am I crazy?

     Yeeeaaahhhh..... I do think that I am heading towards that. What with handling a full time job, a child with autism, another child in Kindergarten, and an injured elder in the house - I've added not one but TWO Shih Tzus into my life!
   
     Though Bowie and Cooper does need lots of my time, I don't feel burdened at all. Hubby asked me the other day, if I felt burdened and dislike the extra work. My answer is ermmm.... not much. I mean, I do dislike cleaning after them during the first few days - coz they have not learnt to keep their crate clean and not poop and pee in it. And the crate is very heavy for me to carry in and out when I want to clean up. But when I surfed the internet for some guidance, I realized that these 3 months puppies are just babies after all. As with my own children, I spent so much time teaching and guiding them to learn to use the potty and the toilet. My daughter is only diaper free when she's 5 years old, and still using the potty at home. She's 7 years old now. With my children, I have learnt to give them time and trust that they will someday learn the skills needed, with proper guidance and enough time.
 
     As with Bowie and Cooper, I started reading for more information on how to care for them. And I started a routine that taught them to relieve themselves outside. I am happy to note that their crate is clean more often than dirty for the past 2 days. When I came back from work, I no longer have to deal with dirty crate and smelly dogs in my kitchen. In fact, after learning to bathe them properly, they no longer smell like the wild dogs in the streets.

     Another change these pups have brought into my life is that they make me wake up early. I used to laze on the bed when my alarm goes off at 4:30am. I will wait for the next alarm at 5am before I drag myself up to start my daily routine. However, I find myself getting up right after the 4:30 alarm, to feed the pups and let them have some time outside to relieve themselves. They kept me company as I hang my clothes out to dry and it is rather fun seeing them playing and when they sometimes came to me for attention.

     I have read countless of information on these Shih Tzus months before I got them. So I understand the commitment that come with them. However, when I read several blogs on how these Shih Tzus can provide therapy to those who care and love them, I am sold. I wanted pets that can contribute to the betterment of the family, and at the same time will not cause harm to my kids.

     As for the kids, my boy is totally fascinated with the pups. I do hope we are paving the path towards handling proper responsibility in taking care of pets. He has been asking for pets for ages and he is very observant to what we do and how we care for the pups.
   
     My daughter on the other hand warms up slowly to the pups. She observes us from far, and I had thought that she's not interested at all. I was initially rather disappointed coz we got these pups with the primary intention of trying to help her to open up more. However, there were a few times when I caught her going into the kitchen by herself, when everyone is not noticing and she tries to touch and play with them. When the pups are outside, she tried to touch and even hold them. And she would look at the pups in the eyes! I guess a puppy's eyes are not as scary as human eyes.

      Anyway, since we've already welcomed these cuties into the family, I am determined to make it work. Life will never be at a standstill, and there will always be changes in our life, whether planned or unplanned. At least this is a planned change, and I am positive that this is a change for a better quality living.

Today she cut her hair..... (sigh)

         

SIGH

          She did this before. Previously she would cut her hair whenever she can get her hand on a  pair of scissors. We gathered all scissors and kept them away from her sight. It has been quite awhile. And we kinda forgot this behaviour. Besides, we use scissors almost everyday, and the kid brother loves to do crafting with scissors. 

          So today, when I wasn't looking, she cut off a whole chunk of hair. Luckily this time her hair is rather long, at shoulder length. I had thought she has grown to love her hair that she would not want to have it cut. She wouldn't even let me tie it up. She loves to twirl and play with her hair, and I think she loves the feel of the hair on her shoulder. I UNDERESTIMATED her. sigh....  (wondering what was she thinking when she did this)

She's a person, first and foremost....

          I have been quietly observing my daughter for the past week. She has increased behaviour problem that blinked red alert to me. Last week, I totally forgot to be subtle in my discussion with the new speech therapist. My fault partly, in not remembering that my dear daughter understands our discussion, and the gist of the discussion might have hurt her. Deeply. This is just from my observation, analysis, and from my understanding of her personality.
         Ever since she was 2-3 years old, her group of 'therapist' teachers and I have noticed that she understands our conversations about her, and whenever we commented about something negative about her, her behaviour on that certain 'comment' will increase. For example, when one of the teacher noticed that my girl would tip toe while walking. Everyone would pay attention to her feet, and commented on it, and asked her to walk properly. Their 'diagnosis' was that she has sensory problems. I believed them at first. Until I noticed that she walks properly when no one remembers to point it out to her. Yup... I learnt from my mistake.
          From that time on wards, I kept reminding myself and the adults around her to not comment negative things about her. In fact, it would be better not to discuss in front of her. I think, we managed to prevent many unnecessary dramas and tantrums. Of course, along the way, we had many incidents that enforced my observations. Even my in-laws and my parents have to agree with me in this.
          Anyway, after the speech therapy last week, both hubby and I noticed that she almost cannot 'produce' proper sounds in her attempt to communicate with us. If previously she would readily greet her grandparents 'good bye' in chinese - we now have difficult time to make her even to say the first part 'Zhai' of the two words, 'Zhai Jian'. She would move her mouth, but the sounds were inappropriate, and in the end, she would be so frustrated that she cried. I hate to give in to her in such conditions, but forcing her to say 'good bye' until she cries is certainly not a good idea. (for those who doesn't understand, my girl used to cry whenever she did not want to do or say anything we asked of her - she cried to get away with things. Her crying used to be so unbearable, that most adults around her would give in to her - but I persevered... and I reap the benefits. My girl would only listen to my instructions, because she knows I mean whatever I say. - I do give in sometimes. Being nonverbal is not her choice. But in such way that I made sure that she gave her best before I let her go.)
          In the past week, besides being subdued, her stimming seemed to increase. She kept making 'EMMMM.......... sounds. all. the. time. I'd be lying if I say it did not get on my nerves. She would find things like bottles, books, key chains, CD's and tapped the things while 'emmmmmmmm' ing. I almost threw all those things away. I knew something is not right.
         On Saturday, when I tried to talk to her, she refused my contact. She still wants to sleep with me, but if I start talking, she would turn away. And she doesn't look happy. If anything, my girl is usually 'glued' to me. She refused to go to daddy, unless she knew I am angry with her. She knows me in my different moods, and knows how to choose her battles. In certain things, such as food or certain things I will not give to her, she would directly go to her daddy or even her brother. If I got angry with her, and she knows it's her fault, she would cry until I console her. But in this case, she did not cry. She did not even come to me for comfort, as she usually did. And she looked so serious the whole day.
          I was sure that we hurt her feelings when we discussed about her, and the thing that strikes me, actually hurt her more. The 'prediction' that she has a long, long time to go for her speech to develop, the query as to why I stopped her PECS training, and the possibility of using sign language with her..... all these in front of her. The bleak predictions hurt me. I am sure, she felt it too.
          I was desperate to make things right for her. In addition to the use of essential oils I diffused to balance her emotion, I tried to talk to her when she is sleeping. I kept telling her that I am sorry for what was said, and reaffirm her improvements over the years. Most important is that I love her. That we all love her. When awake, I pulled her for a quick bear hug several times, even as she resisted. (This was what I did in the first few years when she refused human contact) and it worked.
         Today, I am happy to note that she is back to her usual smilling little character, though her stimming hasn't decreased to the point that is less irritating. At least she did smile 'cheekily' as I questioned her need to bring all her soft, cuddly toys downstairs on the sofa when I asked her to have her afternoon nap. And she did sleep. She waited until her brother was asleep, and I can accompany her. She was asleep in less than 2 minutes... on the sofa she claimed for herself, with her soft toys all over the place.
          Why am I writing this? This is just to remind myself.... and everyone else. A child with Autism is first and foremost, a person. If we look beyond her label, we will see a sweet girl, struggling to fit in this complicated world we live in. They don't call these children 'Angels' for nothing.
         I still have to work out how to decrease her stimming. But it is all work in progress....

3rd...

          There's a saying, Once bitten, Twice shy'. In our case, it's 'Once bitten, Twice shy, Third immune.' I guess having a child with special needs made us tough. We faced rejection, one after another where ever we go - that it's becoming a lifestyle and expected.

          Last year, I posted about the 2 enhancement centers that rejected my daughter. Their reasons were : unable to sit still, needs constant supervision, non-verbal etc. As usual, they tried to be nice and told me perhaps when she's older she will be able to attend the classes. Yeah, I was bummed. And totally depressed. I think it took me a few weeks come to terms with their rejection. Especially when the second center actually advertised that they ACCEPT special needs. Yeah, RIGHT. 

          Well, I did learn about another center that is 'very good' with special needs children. Last year. But I didn't do anything. It was recommended by a friend whose son has special needs, and improved tremendously after attending the classes there for 2 years. I didn't do anything. Besides, the son was verbal and does rather well academically. I should have known.

          But last month, I met with another friend, whose son was of the same age as my daughter. He was, well, very different from before. I think I've not seen him for 2 years. His is now verbal and doing rather well in a mainstream class. I would be lying if I said I'm not envious. In fact, I met her outside the speech therapist room, after the new therapist who has seen her for only the second time told me my daughter have a long, long way to go for her speech to develop. The new therapist also brushed off all the words she managed to say as just 'sounds' that are similar to the words. In short, my daughter is totally non-verbal. I felt that I was back to square one - starting off right from the beginning - to when she was just 18 months old. When the friend told me to try this other center that her son went to, which by the way teaches on one to one setting. The teacher will have 5 students at one time, but she has an assistant to accompany the others while she concentrate on one at a time. It sounds good. I should have known better.

          We sent her to the center for a trial class. But not after explaining to the teacher of what to expect from her. Well, all I can say is, it didn't work. The principal was at loss in his words, after telling me what happened : she wouldn't come to the table after being called, and she ran here and there. I told the principal, I am fine with this. I felt that there is no need to explain that my daughter needs more time to get used to the setting and teachers before she would comply to anyone. As usual, I was told that perhaps she could try again after she is a bit older. Yeah... I don't think waiting for her to get older is an option. She is 7 years old now. If I am to wait for her to be verbal, able to sit still and do all the other things teachers expect her to do before I start teaching her anything. It would be too late. 

          A well meaning friend asked me what exactly do I want for her. I just wanted her to be able to function in this complicated world. But in order to do that, she needs more than personal life skills. She needs to have a way to communicate with people, instead of having other people trying to understand and read her body language. The society will not be that kind and patient to her. I wanted her to at least talk, or even if she can't talk very well, at least she could write. I've heard of a student who never say a word in school, but writes his answer to anyone who talks to him. I am fine if my child can do this too. To excel in academic is not a priority to us, but to me, I still teach her her school syllabus (with a little modification) to expose her to the vocabulary and knowledge. To me, she is still a person. She still can absorb things. She still needs mental stimulation just like anyone else.
        Many may ask why then don't I send her to a special needs school. Well, all I can say is, it will be my last option. The closed and protected setting may sound very good, but the problem is she will never have contact with any typical children to learn their typical ways of handling the world. I may sound selfish, but trust me, my heart ache everyday with any sign of anything that goes wrong in her school. But this is tough love. I cannot and will not be able to shelter her forever. 

       In the close setting of our home, she is such a sweet little girl. Though she does have some non typical behaviour, she is generally very obedient and compliant. I just love her smiles and hugs. She makes me smile and grateful for all her little achievements. But my heart ache for her at the thought of the possibility of her being confined in this small world and only able to venture out when we are around to supervise. :(

A glimpse into our 'school'... (Joy)

          I admit that I started a few months late into their school year. For the first 2 months, I was focused on my work, and trying to get my daughter's teachers to accept her in school. The emotional roller coaster during that time was intense. Before their 1st mid term examination, I started helping my son with his revision. It's a wake up call to me - that he needs my attention too, in his study. During the short 1st mid term holiday, I gathered my materials and tried to sort out what I needed and how I am going to teach.
          This teaching journey with my daughter has been so electic, that I could not be sure of what method suits her the best. I always have to diversify my teaching methods, using different materials to teach the same concept over and over again. But I also realized that I need something simple enough so that I won't feel inadequate and give up. (I've given up so many times, and had to start all over again when I am more emotionally calm)
          Anyway, I opted to be optimistic. Well, I don't have much choice here. So I gathered workbooks which follows her school curriculum from the local bookstore. In fact, I got almost all the books from all the publishers, except for the ones sold out. Then I got to work, using the worksheets maker online, creating worksheets for both my kids, based on their school books. My plan is simple. I'd help my daughter go through the exercises from each unit several times, from several workbooks. - never mind the fact that she starts way behind her school mates. (we started from unit 1, - I think her school reached unit 6 or 8, for different subjects). For certain exercise/assessments requiring her to read, I would either skip or get her to write the words, and I'll read it several times to her, while explaining the meaning. I am still trying to gauge her understanding and ability in certain subjects, but I can detect somehow that she is able to do more than we gave her credit for (due to her being non-verbal).
          I am still holding her hands in trying to get her to write. But I can sometimes loosen my grip and simply touch-hold her. In other words, I did not help her hand or fingers to move the pencil. A little nudge would most of the time get her writing. One thing for sure, now I know she knows how to copy words.  What I am not sure is, sometimes I am pretty sure she moved her hand and fingers and wrote some numbers (up to teens), or some alphabets. But somehow, she would suddenly unable to do them at times, with only writing "O". It is at times like this I would be very frustrated. I have yet to find out the cause for this. I would like to think of myself as accepting enough of her condition and ability to not imagined her previous 'writing or counting' ability. Sigh..... Any insight anyone?

My current system...

          I came up with a system that worked for me. I've been trying this for a few weeks, and it's so far the most agreeable and flexible system I've used.

          Due to my increased workload in school, I've made it a point to allocate Monday to Wednesday afternoons to focus on things at work. This means that I will be back later in the afternoon, and will be exhausted mentally and physically. At night, I opted to relax and rest. On Thursday and Friday afternoons, I made sure I will be back earlier, to rest and to do school work with the kids. This continues onto Saturdays and Sundays. My boy has been very cooperative with the work assigned to him. I would explain to him what is
expected from the exercise, and he'd be off to finish them by himself. Then, I'll have time to help the girl with her work. 

I tidied their school bags everyday according to their school timetable. My son has only a few books, so he brings all to school everyday. As for my daughter, I sometimes have trouble to quickly finding her books. She has 2 stacks of books, one for the first half of the year, and the other is for the second half of the year. I did not want to put them away, out of sight. So I colour coded them. She has a few codes. The blue is for the first half of the year, blue with yellow in the middle is for the second half of the year, and green is for her workbooks at home. Extra workbooks for the second half of the year is tied up, but remain with the rest.

Every Thursday, I'll go through and ear mark all the books for exercises. The green is for my daughter, orange is for my son.

This is a simple motivational chart I use with my son. He is sometimes reluctant to do his work. This chart gets him going. He gets a yellow sticker for every book (selected exercise) he finish. When he managed to collect a row of stickers, he gets to do one activity he chose. Usually it's related to art activities. :)

Nice to know I am appreciated.

          The memory stays with me. Last night was the first time (after a rather long time) I talked to my daughter, and she responded. I'd like to think that she really feel the need to answer me verbally, because she thinks it is important.
          I was actually too angry at the time with something that she did. A few smacks on her palm, I kept to myself, waiting for my heart beat to return to normal. (yeah, I was that angry, that my heart beat was racing). After I calmed down, I told her to come to me for some 'talking to'.
          I remember I asked her " Why did you have to do this to make me so angry? Don't you want me anymore? Do you want mommy?" I think I repeated this a few times. She just stood there, looking at me, quietly.
           But, every time I asked " Do you want mommy?" - she would make some noise, as if responding. And hubby agreed that she is actually trying to say 'Yao" (Yes/I want mommy).
Well, what can I say? My heart melted..... :)

Fever experience with EO and The little things that counts....

        It has been two weeks after my last post. Nothing much, except that we were all pretty busy with revisions, school exams etc, etc. And on top of it, my daughter had a bout of fever. We succeeded not giving her antibiotics, though it's clear that she's having inflammation in the throat, and not eating or drinking much. Sigh, every time she gets sick, it shows. I think she lost at least 1 kg this time. Anyway, though we managed without the antibiotics, we still gave her medicine for her fever. I monitored her temperature diligently, and on the first day, I wasn't going to take the chance of only depending on the essential oils. But I managed to prolonged the time she had to take the medicine, instead of every 4 hours, she only took the medicine after 8 hours or longer. From this experience, I learnt that (with my nervous personality), the essential oils certainly helps if you detect the fever coming very early on. On the first day, as her fever reached 38 degree, I did not dare to wait for the essential oils to do it's work. By the end of the second day, her fever is rather mild, at 37.6 and below. I used Peppermint and Frankincense (diluted with Coconut Oil) on her as often as I possibly can and monitored her temperature. I can see her temperature going up a little after 2-3 hours, but after applying the essential oils, it goes down again in less than 1 hour. She was well again by the 4th day.
          Though I am relieved to have found some alternative to antibiotics, it wasn't at all easy. With only a dose or two a day of antibiotics, we can be sure that it can help curb the inflammation and help with the fever. With essential oils, I had to be diligent in applying them, in order for it to be effective. But I have to remember that essential oils are not medicines and should not be treated as such when using it to deal with sicknesses.
 *But as a reminder, though essential oils are not medicine, too much of a good thing can be detrimental too, thus, in the case of having children in the house, please store it away safely like any other medicines you have.*

          Other than that, I am happy to see more improvements in my daughter. She added another phrase into her spoken vocabulary (an Zhang/ dirty). The situation was that she played with something and her hands were dirty. At the same time, my mother asked her to shake hands with a neighbour. My daughter looked at her hands and replied " An Zhang/dirty" she said this so clearly, that the 2 neighbours who assumed that my daughter could not speak were very surprised.

          At home, I have been guiding her with her Maths homework. I am very happy to note some difference in her. But first, I had to admit that I have not been doing one to one with her for at least 1 month - there should be no acceptable reasons for this, so I would spare you the details. Anyway, as I held her hands and guided her to count the pictures one by one, I asked her to count by herself, as I kept quiet. When we finished marking (cancelling) all the pictures, I asked her to write the correct number beside it - she could actually do this. I can feel her hands moving to the shape of the numbers (I relaxed my grip on her hands and let her guide my hand). When I praised her, she looked at me and smiled happily.

         Since it's school holiday, we did this almost everyday, and I am happy to see her coming to the table after just a gentle call, waiting to do her work, and patiently trying to finish her work as I tried to prolong her sitting time at the table. I have yet to note how long is the time she could actually sit there and do her work, but for now, I am content. We'll do this slowly, step by step....

       I am reminding myself again and again, that she has come a long way and I believe she still has a long way to go.....

We're happily surviving.... :)

          Three weeks passed by after a rather 'speechless' experience.. I am happy to note that it hasn't resulted in what was 'expected' to happen. Well, I mean, what those people expected to happen anyway.
          Life goes on for us. It's almost exam season, with my son having a pre-test for 2 weeks. The real 1st exam for him will be in another 2 weeks. Both hubby and I were trying to do revisions with him. Since we've restricted his TV time to only Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays (after lessons), he is quite compliant to finish his revisions first before having his entertainment. As for the weekdays, he already have 2 nights of Chinese enrichment classes which are helping him with his Chinese. (His momma is illiterate in Chinese). We will send him to a Suku Kata BM class on Friday starting in March, which after a trial test last night, he happily agreed to go. We did not force him to attend any classes that he have no interest in. So far, the enrichment center he goes to operates on the basis of Learning through Play - and he loves playing.
          In the afternoons whenever I am free, I'll help both to do their homework or revision. At nights, we would all be asleep by 8pm. (usually).
          Another purpose of this post was to happily report my new adventure in using essential oils.

A colleague introduced me to the benefits of essential oils. As usual, my thoughts went right to my children. My boy, who often has flu and fever and my daughter, who needs help in her speech, anxiety, sensory and others. After a few weeks of research on the internet, I placed orders on several bottles of essential oils, which I think might help with my children. They are not cheap, and the bottles are small. As advised, I bought their unscented body lotion to mix blends of essential oils I'll be using everyday. 

For the money I spent on these little bottles, I wanted to make sure that it's kept properly. I can only fit 2 bottles of essential oils into these cute glass containers. I've read somewhere that the best way to store essential oils is to keep them in glass containers and away from the sun. I simply stacked these containers in a small paper bag which I can carry around the house when needed. 

          As for their efficiency, I just LOVE Peppermint. I'd bring it around in my handbag and dabbed it behind the ears for the instant 'good feel' whenever I felt sluggish. The aroma of Peppermint in the car gives me instant energy to focus in my driving too. 

          I mixed Frankincense, Balance, OnGuard and Breathe in the lotion I use on my children. Every morning, before I go to work, I'll wipe them clean with warm cloth, gently massage the lotion along the spine, behind the ears, on the chest area and a dab of Breath on the throat (for the boy). Then I'll massage it on their foot before wearing their socks. I used InTune (in a roll on bottle) behind the ears and along the spine for both of them too. I'll do this again in the afternoon, after their bath and at night before they go to bed. I started this routine on 17th of February.

          I asked hubby last night, if he notice any difference in the children after I started using the essential oils. We both agree that the boy (who already has the flu when I started using the oils on him) is no longer having blocked nose. No, we did not give him any medicine. It was a mild flu, and I did not think it was necessary.

          As for the girl, she surprised us even more. (I am not sure if it's due to the oils, as she surprises us all the time, especially when we are not expecting it). We kept a children's bicycle in a spare living room at my MIL's. The children play in there everyday, but only my son will use the bicycle and cycle around the house. MIL reported that for the past week, my dear daughter would take the initiative to cycle around the room all by herself. Usually, she had to be forced to climb onto the bicycle. And MIL also told me that the kids are playing hide and seek recently, with the boy hiding, and the girl (had to be prompted by grandma) searched for him. When she found him, she'd tap on his head. - I can only say WOW!

        Whenever I came home early from work, just in time to accompany them for lunch, I find that she is feeding herself more. She no longer waits for grandmother to feed her. (unless she is not feeling hungry)

          Yesterday, my father in law reported yet another surprise. My daughter willingly shared her snacks with her classmates!! (both hubby and I were overjoyed!) This is one of the target we had for her in school. The classmate was actually standing there, watching my daughter eat her biscuits. Without being prompted, my daughter handed her 2 biscuits - all by herself! :) It might not sound great for other children, but my daughter, whom the teachers said is locked in her own world - is noticing her classmate watching her eating her snacks, and perhaps she understands that the classmate wanted some of the snacks too. I just can't wait for more miracles to happen!!!!

          And I can't wait for the rest of the essential oils to arrive. Perhaps I'll get a diffuser in future, if the oils proved their worth. I'll give them time. Time and Prayer.

Speechless.... (but I am coping.... blerk)

         Sigh.... I know I needed to put this down in writing. One day, I hope to go back to this post and tell myself, "phew, we went though all that? and we survived? and everything is soooo ok now, that no one would believe we actually went through all this."
 
         Yup! I am clinging onto my motherly instinct, knowing that one day things will turn out as we'd hoped it would be. Just as God had planned - (hopefully).

         To cut the story short, the teachers, ie the counsellor cum the remedial teacher of my daughter's school kept pestering my father in law to ask me to go to school to have a 'talk' with her. Yeah, the hubs went once, (when she asked for both of us - I chickened off the last minute), and she did not manage to get her 'message' and 'good intentions' through to him. Simply said - they did not manage to get us to transfer her to a Special Needs school. I am very determined to ride through this phase, and of course, hubby is right beside me. Little did the teacher know that I was the 'mastermind' behind all this. (heheheh, evil laugh)
          When I did not show up at her school after the CNY holiday, I started getting missed calls from school. (On the Saturday both hubby and I planned to go to the school, but I am only free after 12, coz I have to be in school too. My school.) - I reminded them that as educators ourselves, we all have almost the same working hours. How could she expect me to be there in school the moment she asked? She even dared to ask me to take leave from school - well, just to go to have a 'talk' with them? - I'd rather not. I mean, it's not like my daughter has been creating havoc in school or something, that needs my immediate intervention.
         When we were finally there - well, the whole experience left me speechless. As an educator myself, I felt ashamed to be in the same line of work as them. I had never have problems dealing with parents before - most of the time, I'd try to solve problems internally, in school - preventing parents heartache and trouble, having to come to school, to deal with their child's problems in school, WHICH are supposed to be handled by the teachers. Of course, unless the problem was too big to be solved, involving many parties. - that would be another story.
       
         Getting back to my daughter's school, all I heard from them was resentment of the extra work they have to do in order to cope with her. Please, with only 26 students, compared to 30++ and 40++ students in other schools, I would expect them to be more considerate and attentive towards their students. I don't expect them to pay one to one attention to my daughter, as there are 25 other students they have to care for. But they gave me the impression that their duty is only to teach academics and get them to pass the assessments. Any other character building, self independence skills are non of their business.
          I can't go through all the things they said to us that day. It's equal to nightmare to me. I can't believe myself for handling my emotions so well that day, by nodding and smiling , and apologizing for all the trouble they had faced. I had thought I'd be aggressive and questioned their motivation in choosing this line of profession. - Well, I wasn't, and I was rather glad I did what I did, hoping that the teachers would slowly try to understand us, and show a little more love and care towards my daughter - instead of resenting her and resenting her parents for not cooperating.
        In case you are wondering, there are a few things they said that stabbed me in the heart. Actually we had to face a group of 5 teachers (teaching her class) One of the teacher started off with the complaint that my daughter has been taking other students' things. My response was - did she returned them? The teacher answered, yes, she would return the things when the students asked her. My next response was, : well, it's good that she is willing to return the things. But, I commented that my daughter's things (pencils, erasers, rulers, pencil sharperners) has been missing since the first week of school. Guess what was her response? "Oh, that one I don't know. You have to ask the class teacher." (yeah, she dismissed it just like that) and the class teacher were sitting there, saying nothing.
        And their famous 'quote' of the day? "I don't have time to notice her. I don't have time to pay more attention to her. I don't have time to discipline her. and when we are busy with the lessons and assessments, we will just put her aside" Wow ..... how to answer that?
         As a mother, I was crushed. But little did they know that the more difficult it is, the more determined I am. I know my daughter. I know what she needs. I am determined to give her the best environment - even if it means, I will have a tainted image of a selfish, irresponsible mother. Yeah - one of the teacher told my husband that if it were her child, she would directly put her in the special needs class - Yeah. IF. I might be weak, I get stressed. I cried. I lost my sleep over this, I might even suffer from thyroid due to the stress (in the process of diagnose), But after the process, I'll emerge stronger. Like they say, do not annoy a woman. ESPECIALLY a mother.
          I kept repeating to the teachers, to take time to understand her. (it'll be another post, on how the headmistress finally admits to me some of the things she just discovered about my daughter - which are good things) If only the teachers are willing to give her some more time, especially the first few years. I am keeping track with my daughter's overall improvements -

In speech : (she makes more sounds nowadays and called me 'mama' several times this week (when I asked her, sigh - it has been quite awhile),

Social skills : (which the teachers did comment that she is playing with the classmates), her latest feat : giving flying kiss when required to say good bye.... hihihi (nope, I didn't teach her that), and she have friends in school! : they would hold her hands and guide her patiently to go down the staircase. (she's still afraid of going down unfamiliar staircase. No problem in going up. The computer class is upstairs)

Independence skills (going to the toilet and back (no more accidents in the class) by herself, going to the school hall, computer room, and back to class - with friends or by self, sitting properly in class during recess time - eating from her lunch box), and I'm glad she knows how to fight for her rights. (she was absent from school a few days, due to fever, and when she's back to school, she saw that her seat has been taken by another student. Other students told her to go and sit at the back - but she refused, and shoved herself onto her seat, forcing the other student to give in and return to her seat at the back- my father in law was there and saw the whole process, and no, she did not hurt the other girl while shoving herself onto her own seat. :)

In academics : One of the teacher even mentioned that she actually pulled the teacher's hand to help guide her to write her work. (I told the teachers that she is now in a phase where she can actually recognize and write the alphabets, but she lacks confidence, thus needs someone to touch her, even if it's only on her wrist - she can write, or even copy some of the words) - but the teachers' response was - NO TIME. sigh

          I am open to any type of changes if it's to her best interest. I might even apply for her Special needs card and send her to a special needs school in future - IF she is still not able to cope in the mainstream. But for the time being - I firmly believe the mainstream environment is the best environment for her. Besides, I can't shield her from the negative side of human nature forever. My daughter is a tough girl. She can be as stubborn when she wants to. And most importantly : I believe in her. I believe that God has a grand plan for her and time will reveal everything.
       
       

Chinese New Year!

       Chinese New Year is just a few more days away. I've done all the preparations, leaving the hardest and the most troublesome on the list to be done on the last few days before the big day. I have valid reasons for this. The cleaning and decorating of the living room and kitchen, where the children frequents needs to be done while they are sleeping, on the New Year Eve.
        I remember during my childhood, I'd go to sleep after a very generous dinner with our extended family, and woke up to a beautiful living room. The couch would have a new dressing, all the simple red decorations were up on the walls, there will be a pink and red decorated tree in a corner and all the snacks suddenly appear out of nowhere in Tupperwares. It feels so magical every time.
         As I grew older, I became part of the 'magic'. With my younger brother in bed, I'll help with the tree decorations, changed the couch's casings, made decorations with red packets with my older brother, and opened the store bought packages of snacks to be put into Tupperwares. Due to my parents being working parents, everything is done in the last minute. I relish the time when the neighbours were playing firecrackers after the clock strikes 12 midnight while we were busy sweeping and mopping the floor, to get the last of the dust (due to the firecrackers). Once everything is quiet, we'd finish our final touches before going to bed. 
         And now, as a wife and mother, some of the 'traditions' seeped into my household too. I'll do all the cleaning (with the help of a cleaning maid, hihi) during the school holidays. Then hubby and I will find time here and there to go shopping without the children - for New Year clothes, decorations and snacks. The things will have to be kept away from their sight. When school opens in the beginning of the year, there's usually a few weeks left before Chinese New Year. During the weekends, I'll wash the new clothes and bedsheets. (though this year is an exception since it has been raining almost everyday), so, don't judge : coz I decided not to wash the sheets unless the weather promises to be nice for at least the whole day. (don't worry, the sheets have been washed during the holidays)
        With only a few days left, hubby and I are going to focus on cleaning up our work areas, store the children's toys (when they were not looking), and our yearly tradition : bake cakes after the reunion dinner, and when the children are asleep. This is one tradition I cherish. We get to spend some quality time together, baking and chatting. Hubby is the main chef here with me as the assistant. He'll bake at least 2- 3 cakes and exchanged half with my MIL. This way, we'll have around 6 homemade cakes to serve our visitors.
        It is a joy to be able to create 'magical' moments for my children. I hope this helps to create sweet memories for them. How about your family? Are there any traditions you would like to share?

I'm so happy!!!!!!!

          Okay, this might be just me over-reacting. But still, I am VERY happy with my daughter today. Well, so happy that I didn't have time to take photos and can't wait to sit down and write this post.
         
          To make long story short, she was playing and exploring upstairs when she suddenly came down with the writing exercise I kept in our study upstairs. I printed a whole stack of the exercise and guided her to write them almost everyday since the semester starts.

          I asked her why is she bringing the papers down. Does she want to write? Her answer? A big 'Yes'. (in chinese). I almost jumped out of my chair and quickly set up the chairs. (I did have a shorter table for their activities in the living room, but as I need to find another small chair to sit with her, she climbed onto my chair in my work area). And to my surprise, I discovered that she could actually do simple copywork. The exercise was printed off a homeschooler's blog (I need to find the address again) and was supposed to target sight words practice. The words were printed with boxes under the words for copywork practices. When I started this exercise with her, I would point to the word, letter by letter, while saying it out loud. With me holding her hands, grasping the pencil, I'd guide her writing, helping with the letters she's having trouble with, and loosening my hold when I can feel her moving the pencil in the correct direction.

          Well, it might be the first time, some may tell me that it's coincidence or whatever... I totally believe that she is in another phase of handwriting now. She can copy the letters, and write some of the letters. I just have to think of a way for her to have the confidence to write without me holding her hands. Off to thinking..... lalalalala

Primary 1...

          We started the first day of school in a daze. With heavy heart, I had to go to work, praying hard that everything will be fine with my daughter on her first day in Primary school. My husband sent her to school. We were nervous and wanted to do everything right from the start, but ended up making mistake for being too 'obedient'. When we met her school headmaster a few days before the school opens, we were told that we have to arrive by 6:45am. I kept reminding my husband to be earlier to secure a front table for Joy. He went early, but the school wasn't even opened. The classroom was still locked. So he brought Joy to the toilet, which she went without a fuss. But the drama began when she came out of the toilet to find a whole group of students with parents all waiting outside the classroom. And she refused to go into the class. Our prediction was that she was overwhelmed by the sudden 'appearance' of these people, which I assume was not being quiet. You know how mothers are when they are in school, especially 'home makers' when they met with other mothers they know... phew... I wonder if they thought that school is a meeting place for them to vent about their household and children. (anyway, not meaning to offend any homemakers out there - it's just what I've observed and experienced when I was at home on leave for a few months previously)

          Anyway, my daughter refused to go into the class, and instead pulled her father to the car and sat in the car. They waited in the car until the other students (and parents) were rather settled in her class. The headmaster saw both of them on their way back to the class and insisted to take over. She took my daughter by the hand and asked my husband to go back - insisting that parent's presence may be the cause of her reluctance to be in class. 

          Well, my husband wasn't really convinced. He re parked his car in a hidden corner to watch. As predicted, my now crying (loudly) daughter ran out of the class - towards the staircase (the toilet was under the staircase) , looked and searched everywhere looking for someone - and finally made the bee line towards the school gate - at which, the teachers and headmaster who has been watching her had to run and hold her back. 

          By the time I called the school around 8 am, I was told that she is in the headmaster's office (thank God, not crying) because she was distracting the whole class (and I think the whole school). I was told that the headmaster tried to talk to her, and did a bit of assessment with her - and everything wasn't looking pretty from there. 

          I was told that she couldn't understand people, can't write, and will face / bring lots of 'troubles academically.  Sigh... this is certainly not what I had anticipated for the first day of MY work too. Both hubby and I were very moody at work and we started having headaches. 

          I started calling for advise from her previous tuition teacher and was given some pointers on what to do. I followed her instructions and Phew..... she did rather well on the second day in school. She went into her class by herself (daddy carrying her bag following behind), sat on her allocated chair and started playing with the zipper head on her bag. (I assume this was for her sense of security). When her daddy reminded her to hand in her Buku Kesihatan, she took it out of her bag and handed it to her teacher who was just in front of her. (I am smilling as I typed this). When I went to fetch her after school, I purposely parked where I can see her class, and observed the class from far. I can't see what is going on in there (too far) but I can see some students looking out the door or windows towards the parking lot. 

          My daughter came to the front door once, and I saw her 'playing' with a friend. I purposely waited until some of the parents went in and fetched their children. I wanted to see if she will come out of the class by herself - as the teacher is no longer in the class. She didn't. When she saw me, she handed me her bag. At the same time her Maths teacher came in, and I stopped to chat with her for awhile, at which my daughter started pulling me to go...  but she obediently took her water bottle and drank her water while I continued talking with the teacher. By the way, she did not drink water at all during school time. On the first day, it was full when she got home. The second day, she only started drinking when I asked her to - when I fetched her - and she finished half the bottle in the car. I try to be positive about this - maybe she is still overwhelmed by all the new things happening. (I don't even dare to ask of she's going to the toilet) - I think this can wait. I am more concerned about her behaving herself in the class. So far, I have not had calls from her class teacher, which I took it as a good sign. But the Maths teacher has been telling me that she is not listening from her original allocated seat - the frnt row near the window - and during maths, she has to sit next to the teacher's table - I  have no objection to this. (I secretly hoped all the other teachers would do this too) _ though the Math teacher told me that the seat next to the teacher is for 'naughty' students. 

Another notable point is that she can actually recognize my car. I think perhaps she saw me from her classroom. After getting out of the class, I asked her to walk by herself and find my car. I wanted to see if she can get out of the classroom and get to the gate by herself - as the grandfather will be fetching her most of the time. She walked out of the gate (looking at me once in awhile) with me following her with her heavy bag. She went directly to my car albeit slowly. (I think her feet hurt from wearing shoes the whole morning, though I was sure the shoes were not too small - she was almost tip toeing wearing the shoes and took the shoes off at once, when she got in the car) - have to find out the reason to this... 

Anyway, it has only been 2 days. Hopefully next week will be better. Please pray for her!

First Christmas Party

My little boy went to his very first Christmas Party on Saturday, held by his new Kindergarten. He was not feeling well, but insisted on going - but he asked to go back, right after we arrived. He was overwhelmed by all 60-70 children and teachers. With everyone talking, younger children crying, the music and movements everywhere, he didn't know where to look. 

But he was happy to wait for these. In fact, it was the only thing he ate during the party.

And these too. After 2 rounds of games (passing the balloon, and musical chair), I suggested that it's time for him to go home earlier for his medicine. I nearly forgot about the  RM10 gifts exchange among the students. But my boy is not one to leave without his gifts.

Santa is being very generous.

He left with a bag of goodies. 

What's your wish from Santa this year? 

I did not want anything material. I only want my children to grow up healthy and learn the many virtues in Christ. And I wish that my daughter will be able to cope in her primary school, with loving, understanding and accepting teachers and friends. My son is going to a new kindergarten for Kindy 1. I hope that he will make new friends, learn new things and love his kindy years. Next year will be a challenging year for both hubby and me, in career and family challenges, I hope we will have the strength to face every challenges, and trust that God knows what He is doing. 

It's harder than I thought...

I mentioned that I am an avid reader. Or so I thought. Reading this book took me weeks. I would usually finish any book for leisure reading in a day or two. When I was younger and without family commitments, I'll finish interesting books in one sitting, sometimes into late nights.

But this book. It was meant to be leisure reading when I bought it. I've read several story-type books on autism, but somehow this book is hard to read. Some of the stories are direct reflections of how I am feeling and coping. The authors have the same devastating early moments, the worries, the time of laughter and struggles, and reading them transported me back and forth to the past years, present and even to the unseen future - as they shared their experiences.

Don't get me wrong. This is a good book, offering hope to caretakers and families of children with autism - just be prepared to shed some tears while reading it.

Holidaying....

* I am grateful for:

- Joy being able to adapt so well to changes of routine and places. We stayed at my brother's place, and with no potty, she went to toilet everytime. She was very responsive whenever we asked if she needs to go to the toilet, while we were out. (so we did not have to worry much about her wetting herself, as long as we remember to ask her, and she also give strong signs if we forgot to ask) She said more words and showed much understanding in everything. At times, I almost forgot that I need to pay more attention to her needs) She is almost as independent at my brother's place as her younger brother.

- Jay is having a time of his life. He enjoyed the flights and all the outings, especially the rabbit chasing... hehehe

-All in all, I am glad we did have this trip. It was a spur of the moment decision, but very worth it.