Thanks to essential oils???

          13/3/2014
          Ermm.... why the question marks? Well, I am not prepared to be so convinced that every little changes or development in my daughter is due to the oils. But, I am almost 80% believer. It does seem to have it's efficiency in mild sicknesses around the house. At least my itchy throat and 3 months wheezing cough just disappeared when I wasn't noticing. It was like one day, hey, I am not coughing anymore. I have not taken any medicine after a few rounds of those in the first 2 months. I decided to let it decide when it wanted to go - while using the oils.
         The second experience with the oils was when the son suddenly vomited twice in one night, and was rather listless the second day. He lacked appetite and we did not dare to feed him too much in case he vomit again. The doctor asked me to look down his throat and it was reddish, and he's starting with fever. We opted not to take the antibiotic. I gave him a dose of the doctor's medicine before he goes to sleep. I also wiped his whole body with warm water added with a drop of Peppermint essential oil. The whole night, I got up several times to apply Frankincense and Peppermint on his throat. His fever did not go up at all. The next day, he didn't take any medicine since his temperature is okay. But he is still having difficulty eating, due to his throat inflamation. I applied Frankincense and Peppermint on him every 10-15 mins after I got home from work. I also applied Peppermint on his stomach, due to the wind. (according to the doctor, there's wind that causes him to vomit). I am so glad that he is back to his usual self the 3rd day. He's eating and as naughty as before. And he told me that the 'bacteria' is scared of the oils.... hihihi
         
          As for the girl, I was rather reluctant to attribute everything to the oils so soon, since I know she is and will keep on improving as she grows. What I noticed was that a few weeks after using the oils, especially DDR and vetiver, my daughter's few attempts in pronunciation were quite clear. She still has very limited vocabulary. But the words are clearer. A very recent example was on Wednesday, when I woke her up in the morning, I called out to her ' Good Morning, XXX!'. I do this every morning, without expecting her to answer. The most she would do is to smile at me, or to wave her hand, indicating her acknowledgement. But on Wednesday, she replied clearly 'Good Morning' (Zhao / pause / An). I was shocked, and quickly praised her. She just smiled at me. The same thing happened on the next day but Hubby was skeptical. So, this morning, after getting her to say good morning to me, I almost kicked hubby to wake him up. in his sleepy state, I asked my daughter to say 'good morning' again. With a little prompt, she did. And this time, hubby acknowledged that it's very clear. I hope this will continue.

          I decided to write some sort of chronological account of any differences we noticed in her, so that it may be referred to in future, with as little 'imagination' from me as possible. I wanted this to be something I can depend on.

17/3/2014

         I am so happy today. My mother in law just told me today that my dear daughter has been wiping herself clean after a biggie in the toilet, for the past week. I was rather busy last week, and arrived home only in time for dinner. My daughter has a rather regular bowel movement, and always goes to the toilet in the afternoon. MIL told me she would just fold the toilet paper and handed it to my daughter. My daughter would then step down from the toilet bowl and wipe herself. She would even check and turn it the other side to wipe the second time! I was really surprised to hear this. In fact, MIL said it was not only one time, but several times over the week, including today!
         I was trying to keep my excitement in check, and asked if there were other improvements. She told me that my daughter has been playing hide and seek more often with her brother. The brother would hide, and she would search for him (after a prompt from grandmother).
          Praying for more to come! Amen!

Speechless.... (but I am coping.... blerk)

         Sigh.... I know I needed to put this down in writing. One day, I hope to go back to this post and tell myself, "phew, we went though all that? and we survived? and everything is soooo ok now, that no one would believe we actually went through all this."
 
         Yup! I am clinging onto my motherly instinct, knowing that one day things will turn out as we'd hoped it would be. Just as God had planned - (hopefully).

         To cut the story short, the teachers, ie the counsellor cum the remedial teacher of my daughter's school kept pestering my father in law to ask me to go to school to have a 'talk' with her. Yeah, the hubs went once, (when she asked for both of us - I chickened off the last minute), and she did not manage to get her 'message' and 'good intentions' through to him. Simply said - they did not manage to get us to transfer her to a Special Needs school. I am very determined to ride through this phase, and of course, hubby is right beside me. Little did the teacher know that I was the 'mastermind' behind all this. (heheheh, evil laugh)
          When I did not show up at her school after the CNY holiday, I started getting missed calls from school. (On the Saturday both hubby and I planned to go to the school, but I am only free after 12, coz I have to be in school too. My school.) - I reminded them that as educators ourselves, we all have almost the same working hours. How could she expect me to be there in school the moment she asked? She even dared to ask me to take leave from school - well, just to go to have a 'talk' with them? - I'd rather not. I mean, it's not like my daughter has been creating havoc in school or something, that needs my immediate intervention.
         When we were finally there - well, the whole experience left me speechless. As an educator myself, I felt ashamed to be in the same line of work as them. I had never have problems dealing with parents before - most of the time, I'd try to solve problems internally, in school - preventing parents heartache and trouble, having to come to school, to deal with their child's problems in school, WHICH are supposed to be handled by the teachers. Of course, unless the problem was too big to be solved, involving many parties. - that would be another story.
       
         Getting back to my daughter's school, all I heard from them was resentment of the extra work they have to do in order to cope with her. Please, with only 26 students, compared to 30++ and 40++ students in other schools, I would expect them to be more considerate and attentive towards their students. I don't expect them to pay one to one attention to my daughter, as there are 25 other students they have to care for. But they gave me the impression that their duty is only to teach academics and get them to pass the assessments. Any other character building, self independence skills are non of their business.
          I can't go through all the things they said to us that day. It's equal to nightmare to me. I can't believe myself for handling my emotions so well that day, by nodding and smiling , and apologizing for all the trouble they had faced. I had thought I'd be aggressive and questioned their motivation in choosing this line of profession. - Well, I wasn't, and I was rather glad I did what I did, hoping that the teachers would slowly try to understand us, and show a little more love and care towards my daughter - instead of resenting her and resenting her parents for not cooperating.
        In case you are wondering, there are a few things they said that stabbed me in the heart. Actually we had to face a group of 5 teachers (teaching her class) One of the teacher started off with the complaint that my daughter has been taking other students' things. My response was - did she returned them? The teacher answered, yes, she would return the things when the students asked her. My next response was, : well, it's good that she is willing to return the things. But, I commented that my daughter's things (pencils, erasers, rulers, pencil sharperners) has been missing since the first week of school. Guess what was her response? "Oh, that one I don't know. You have to ask the class teacher." (yeah, she dismissed it just like that) and the class teacher were sitting there, saying nothing.
        And their famous 'quote' of the day? "I don't have time to notice her. I don't have time to pay more attention to her. I don't have time to discipline her. and when we are busy with the lessons and assessments, we will just put her aside" Wow ..... how to answer that?
         As a mother, I was crushed. But little did they know that the more difficult it is, the more determined I am. I know my daughter. I know what she needs. I am determined to give her the best environment - even if it means, I will have a tainted image of a selfish, irresponsible mother. Yeah - one of the teacher told my husband that if it were her child, she would directly put her in the special needs class - Yeah. IF. I might be weak, I get stressed. I cried. I lost my sleep over this, I might even suffer from thyroid due to the stress (in the process of diagnose), But after the process, I'll emerge stronger. Like they say, do not annoy a woman. ESPECIALLY a mother.
          I kept repeating to the teachers, to take time to understand her. (it'll be another post, on how the headmistress finally admits to me some of the things she just discovered about my daughter - which are good things) If only the teachers are willing to give her some more time, especially the first few years. I am keeping track with my daughter's overall improvements -

In speech : (she makes more sounds nowadays and called me 'mama' several times this week (when I asked her, sigh - it has been quite awhile),

Social skills : (which the teachers did comment that she is playing with the classmates), her latest feat : giving flying kiss when required to say good bye.... hihihi (nope, I didn't teach her that), and she have friends in school! : they would hold her hands and guide her patiently to go down the staircase. (she's still afraid of going down unfamiliar staircase. No problem in going up. The computer class is upstairs)

Independence skills (going to the toilet and back (no more accidents in the class) by herself, going to the school hall, computer room, and back to class - with friends or by self, sitting properly in class during recess time - eating from her lunch box), and I'm glad she knows how to fight for her rights. (she was absent from school a few days, due to fever, and when she's back to school, she saw that her seat has been taken by another student. Other students told her to go and sit at the back - but she refused, and shoved herself onto her seat, forcing the other student to give in and return to her seat at the back- my father in law was there and saw the whole process, and no, she did not hurt the other girl while shoving herself onto her own seat. :)

In academics : One of the teacher even mentioned that she actually pulled the teacher's hand to help guide her to write her work. (I told the teachers that she is now in a phase where she can actually recognize and write the alphabets, but she lacks confidence, thus needs someone to touch her, even if it's only on her wrist - she can write, or even copy some of the words) - but the teachers' response was - NO TIME. sigh

          I am open to any type of changes if it's to her best interest. I might even apply for her Special needs card and send her to a special needs school in future - IF she is still not able to cope in the mainstream. But for the time being - I firmly believe the mainstream environment is the best environment for her. Besides, I can't shield her from the negative side of human nature forever. My daughter is a tough girl. She can be as stubborn when she wants to. And most importantly : I believe in her. I believe that God has a grand plan for her and time will reveal everything.
       
       

I'm so happy!!!!!!!

          Okay, this might be just me over-reacting. But still, I am VERY happy with my daughter today. Well, so happy that I didn't have time to take photos and can't wait to sit down and write this post.
         
          To make long story short, she was playing and exploring upstairs when she suddenly came down with the writing exercise I kept in our study upstairs. I printed a whole stack of the exercise and guided her to write them almost everyday since the semester starts.

          I asked her why is she bringing the papers down. Does she want to write? Her answer? A big 'Yes'. (in chinese). I almost jumped out of my chair and quickly set up the chairs. (I did have a shorter table for their activities in the living room, but as I need to find another small chair to sit with her, she climbed onto my chair in my work area). And to my surprise, I discovered that she could actually do simple copywork. The exercise was printed off a homeschooler's blog (I need to find the address again) and was supposed to target sight words practice. The words were printed with boxes under the words for copywork practices. When I started this exercise with her, I would point to the word, letter by letter, while saying it out loud. With me holding her hands, grasping the pencil, I'd guide her writing, helping with the letters she's having trouble with, and loosening my hold when I can feel her moving the pencil in the correct direction.

          Well, it might be the first time, some may tell me that it's coincidence or whatever... I totally believe that she is in another phase of handwriting now. She can copy the letters, and write some of the letters. I just have to think of a way for her to have the confidence to write without me holding her hands. Off to thinking..... lalalalala

Primary 1...

          We started the first day of school in a daze. With heavy heart, I had to go to work, praying hard that everything will be fine with my daughter on her first day in Primary school. My husband sent her to school. We were nervous and wanted to do everything right from the start, but ended up making mistake for being too 'obedient'. When we met her school headmaster a few days before the school opens, we were told that we have to arrive by 6:45am. I kept reminding my husband to be earlier to secure a front table for Joy. He went early, but the school wasn't even opened. The classroom was still locked. So he brought Joy to the toilet, which she went without a fuss. But the drama began when she came out of the toilet to find a whole group of students with parents all waiting outside the classroom. And she refused to go into the class. Our prediction was that she was overwhelmed by the sudden 'appearance' of these people, which I assume was not being quiet. You know how mothers are when they are in school, especially 'home makers' when they met with other mothers they know... phew... I wonder if they thought that school is a meeting place for them to vent about their household and children. (anyway, not meaning to offend any homemakers out there - it's just what I've observed and experienced when I was at home on leave for a few months previously)

          Anyway, my daughter refused to go into the class, and instead pulled her father to the car and sat in the car. They waited in the car until the other students (and parents) were rather settled in her class. The headmaster saw both of them on their way back to the class and insisted to take over. She took my daughter by the hand and asked my husband to go back - insisting that parent's presence may be the cause of her reluctance to be in class. 

          Well, my husband wasn't really convinced. He re parked his car in a hidden corner to watch. As predicted, my now crying (loudly) daughter ran out of the class - towards the staircase (the toilet was under the staircase) , looked and searched everywhere looking for someone - and finally made the bee line towards the school gate - at which, the teachers and headmaster who has been watching her had to run and hold her back. 

          By the time I called the school around 8 am, I was told that she is in the headmaster's office (thank God, not crying) because she was distracting the whole class (and I think the whole school). I was told that the headmaster tried to talk to her, and did a bit of assessment with her - and everything wasn't looking pretty from there. 

          I was told that she couldn't understand people, can't write, and will face / bring lots of 'troubles academically.  Sigh... this is certainly not what I had anticipated for the first day of MY work too. Both hubby and I were very moody at work and we started having headaches. 

          I started calling for advise from her previous tuition teacher and was given some pointers on what to do. I followed her instructions and Phew..... she did rather well on the second day in school. She went into her class by herself (daddy carrying her bag following behind), sat on her allocated chair and started playing with the zipper head on her bag. (I assume this was for her sense of security). When her daddy reminded her to hand in her Buku Kesihatan, she took it out of her bag and handed it to her teacher who was just in front of her. (I am smilling as I typed this). When I went to fetch her after school, I purposely parked where I can see her class, and observed the class from far. I can't see what is going on in there (too far) but I can see some students looking out the door or windows towards the parking lot. 

          My daughter came to the front door once, and I saw her 'playing' with a friend. I purposely waited until some of the parents went in and fetched their children. I wanted to see if she will come out of the class by herself - as the teacher is no longer in the class. She didn't. When she saw me, she handed me her bag. At the same time her Maths teacher came in, and I stopped to chat with her for awhile, at which my daughter started pulling me to go...  but she obediently took her water bottle and drank her water while I continued talking with the teacher. By the way, she did not drink water at all during school time. On the first day, it was full when she got home. The second day, she only started drinking when I asked her to - when I fetched her - and she finished half the bottle in the car. I try to be positive about this - maybe she is still overwhelmed by all the new things happening. (I don't even dare to ask of she's going to the toilet) - I think this can wait. I am more concerned about her behaving herself in the class. So far, I have not had calls from her class teacher, which I took it as a good sign. But the Maths teacher has been telling me that she is not listening from her original allocated seat - the frnt row near the window - and during maths, she has to sit next to the teacher's table - I  have no objection to this. (I secretly hoped all the other teachers would do this too) _ though the Math teacher told me that the seat next to the teacher is for 'naughty' students. 

Another notable point is that she can actually recognize my car. I think perhaps she saw me from her classroom. After getting out of the class, I asked her to walk by herself and find my car. I wanted to see if she can get out of the classroom and get to the gate by herself - as the grandfather will be fetching her most of the time. She walked out of the gate (looking at me once in awhile) with me following her with her heavy bag. She went directly to my car albeit slowly. (I think her feet hurt from wearing shoes the whole morning, though I was sure the shoes were not too small - she was almost tip toeing wearing the shoes and took the shoes off at once, when she got in the car) - have to find out the reason to this... 

Anyway, it has only been 2 days. Hopefully next week will be better. Please pray for her!

A quick update...

I have been lacking the motivation to write any post recently. But I still take photos of our lives around here. As I go through them and sort them into files, I thought, well, why not just make a quick pictorial post of of our month of July. It's gonna be August next week. 

Left to himself, Jay would draw and colour anything under the sun. His drawings are getting more complicated and with more details. His creations are always so colourful. Once, I bought 4 drawing books (I got tired of collecting his pieces of A4 papers and paper plates) - and he finished them up in 1 week. :0 Well, at least he's kept busy...

He's been asking for cute snacks to bring to school.

All credit to the daddy : )

Joy is certainly improving a lot. She has started to observe and try new food. Before, she wouldn't come near this nutritious dish (which my son called the 'black' soup). She actually finished her lunch and it's her first time with the beef too.

She had her first ice cream too. Before, she disliked anything cold. When we gave her an ice cream, she looked at me licking mine. She tried to smell and licked it.... and didn't want to give it back until it's all finished. She even used a spoon and dug into the ice cream cone...  :)

(yeah, I know ice cream has casein - she did get out of control a few days after - but at least she got to try)

Once, she even 'stole' a whole plate of fried prawns. MIL fried the prawns and left them on the table to cool. While she was busy with other dishes, Joy took off the dish cover and took the whole plate into the living room to enjoy. hmmmm.... Our first reaction was to laugh at this, though I know we should not encourage it.

We know that this girl will never let herself go starving. Whenever she is hungry, she would look everywhere in the kitchen for things to eat. She will even open the fridge at home or at MIL's house to find food. There are a few occasions where she was quiet and when we searched for her, she was sitting in a corner, enjoying crackers she got from the fridge.... 

We celebrated Joy's 6th birthday this month too! 

She chose the cake herself. - and can't wait to play with the butterfly.

Jay has been very busy too. He's practicing for singing competition. Actually, he begged his way into this competition. He told me that he wasn't given the chance to sing in school coz the teacher always let other classmates sing. When I met the teacher, I was told that the few classmates were preparing for singing competition and my son answered confidently 'Yes!' when the teacher asked if he wants to join the competition. He has to present 3 songs in 3 months for collective points. There's 2 more songs to practice for next month. 

We went to an old play area in town. I think both the children will outgrow this soon.

 

Another first for Joy. She has always been afraid to even climb and sit on one of these musical rides. This time, she attempted a few times and finally managed to sit on one. She did scream a little when the ride began moving and singing... but I held her tightly until it stopped. She is beaming happily when it's finally done. I think she knows it's another achievement for herself.

Another happy news is that Joy is going to Kindergarten 2 class now. She was in kindergarten 1 class until June - where the children are 1 or 2 years younger than her. They are often too 'helpful' and loved to help her to do everything.

 Now she is among her same age, most of them are not as willing to 'help' her (the teacher told them not to - though the innocent angels did ask, why - since the teacher always tell them to help each other... hmmm... I'm glad I don't have to answer to those questions)

Well, the point is, since there's no one to help her, she began doing things for herself. She is starting to write (though poorly), but it's a good start. Her teachers commented that she is imitating, observing others and trying things on her own... plus, she is speaking more in school. (though her golden voice can only be heard only when prompted). Praise The Lord!

2013 - May #8

More improvements for Joy :

Watching Nemo together with little brother.

Colouring practice.

I am so proud of her. She wrote the letter 'C' by herself. 

Her holiday tutor discovered that she is actually very interested and concentrated 

when she is given marker pen or coloured ink pen to trace or write.  

She even traced her own name - all by herself! 

But when given a pencil - she refused to write. Perhaps it's the colour? 

Vanity

We noticed more improvements in our daughter in the past few weeks. One of it is that she has shown definite preference in her clothes. - She prefers sleeveless! Actually she has lots of shirts and dresses. (I still haven't got over my guilt for wanting to save money and not buying her girly clothes when she was still a baby. I only bought unisex clothes - until I have another baby boy - my reason being that babies outgrew the clothes so quickly) Now that she is older, I clothe her like a princess (err... most of the time. as far as my bank permits)

Anyway, the thing is, from quietly observing her, her behaviour tells me that she is conscious of her appearance. Every morning (weekend) she would dig her own clothes from her basket. (we haven't got her a proper chest of drawers yet). Her choice of dress or shirt is always a sleeveless. Sometimes she would continue to dig to find the matching leggings or pants. - but usually she is content with just the sleeveless. At one time, I tried to get her to change into a long sleeve (a pretty blouse she sometimes wears to bed) before she goes for her piano lesson. She lets me change, but later she took it off. When I tried to persuade her to wear other shirts with sleeve, she took every shirt from my hand and threw them back in her basket. When I showed her another sleeveless shirt, she quickly nods her head. Phew!!! I almost overturned the whole basket! 

And this morning, she changed her pajamas for a pair of shorts and asked me to help her wear her favourite dress. (sleeveless of course). And I find her admiring herself (swinging like a little lady) in front of our glass door in the living room. (erm.. she did this for almost every few minutes, until I took my phone and snapped her photo...) I guess she is conscious of me noticing her. I wonder when she will know that taking photos of herself is another way of admiring herself.... hi hi hi... I hope I am not promoting vanity to her. 

Ohh.... I am glad to notice that she definitely knows the difference between day clothes and night clothes. The long sleeves are for bed.... hi hi hi. 

Proud....

I am very proud of my daughter today. Today is a school holiday and we managed to spend precious family time together. My daughter showed spontaneous 'babble' with either me or her daddy... that to observers (both of us), she is communicating with us. Most important of all, is we understand her! She did not babble in phrases, but in single words most of the time, but they seemed appropriate.

For example;

'eat' (she really said this in English) - when she wants to eat. she said this many times throughout the day, - for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

'chu' (go), 'dui' (correct) - when we asked her 'yes or no' questions, 'pian' (gave a VCD to daddy, indicating she wants to watch video) and a few others with proper body language.

She said an English phrase too. "I want eat" - we were all too happy to comply with her requests.

We have been consistently bringing our kids out for meals, hoping that she would learn proper  table manners in public. We  loved going to 'Noodle House' because it is clean and not too noisy. Previously, she could not wait for the food to be served and one of us had to bring her outside to wait in the car, until food is served. She still needs us to spoon feed her too.

However, she was on her way to independence today. She waited properly, almost quietly (usually she sings loudly), with the help of a 'preschool app' in my Samsung phone. She happily indicated that she wants to eat the vanilla cheese crepe that I ordered for myself, but refused to eat when I tried to feed her. She wants to feed herself. I helped her get a small chunk of the crepe with a fork, and handed it to her. She took her own sweet time to smell and then eat it. I think she likes it, since she had quite a few mouthfuls. (I know cheese has casein, but... I guess it won't hurt to have it once in a blue moon). She also fed herself throughout our lunch at Noodle House. (I helped her scoop with the spoon and she will feed herself. She did try a few time to scoop the food when I was busy eating) I told her that I am very proud of her to feed herself and being so good during lunch - she is so happy.

Later, my son decided that he wants to go to his grandmother's house instead of following us on errands in town. We told him that we are going to bring sister with us, but sister will have to go to toilet at grandmother's first before we go out again. I only mention this once with my daughter - and she understood! She obediently went into the house, and go potty, then came out again. (usually she would refuse to even go to grandmother's house if she knows we are going out - even after telling her over and over again that we will wait for her)