Speechless.... (but I am coping.... blerk)

         Sigh.... I know I needed to put this down in writing. One day, I hope to go back to this post and tell myself, "phew, we went though all that? and we survived? and everything is soooo ok now, that no one would believe we actually went through all this."
 
         Yup! I am clinging onto my motherly instinct, knowing that one day things will turn out as we'd hoped it would be. Just as God had planned - (hopefully).

         To cut the story short, the teachers, ie the counsellor cum the remedial teacher of my daughter's school kept pestering my father in law to ask me to go to school to have a 'talk' with her. Yeah, the hubs went once, (when she asked for both of us - I chickened off the last minute), and she did not manage to get her 'message' and 'good intentions' through to him. Simply said - they did not manage to get us to transfer her to a Special Needs school. I am very determined to ride through this phase, and of course, hubby is right beside me. Little did the teacher know that I was the 'mastermind' behind all this. (heheheh, evil laugh)
          When I did not show up at her school after the CNY holiday, I started getting missed calls from school. (On the Saturday both hubby and I planned to go to the school, but I am only free after 12, coz I have to be in school too. My school.) - I reminded them that as educators ourselves, we all have almost the same working hours. How could she expect me to be there in school the moment she asked? She even dared to ask me to take leave from school - well, just to go to have a 'talk' with them? - I'd rather not. I mean, it's not like my daughter has been creating havoc in school or something, that needs my immediate intervention.
         When we were finally there - well, the whole experience left me speechless. As an educator myself, I felt ashamed to be in the same line of work as them. I had never have problems dealing with parents before - most of the time, I'd try to solve problems internally, in school - preventing parents heartache and trouble, having to come to school, to deal with their child's problems in school, WHICH are supposed to be handled by the teachers. Of course, unless the problem was too big to be solved, involving many parties. - that would be another story.
       
         Getting back to my daughter's school, all I heard from them was resentment of the extra work they have to do in order to cope with her. Please, with only 26 students, compared to 30++ and 40++ students in other schools, I would expect them to be more considerate and attentive towards their students. I don't expect them to pay one to one attention to my daughter, as there are 25 other students they have to care for. But they gave me the impression that their duty is only to teach academics and get them to pass the assessments. Any other character building, self independence skills are non of their business.
          I can't go through all the things they said to us that day. It's equal to nightmare to me. I can't believe myself for handling my emotions so well that day, by nodding and smiling , and apologizing for all the trouble they had faced. I had thought I'd be aggressive and questioned their motivation in choosing this line of profession. - Well, I wasn't, and I was rather glad I did what I did, hoping that the teachers would slowly try to understand us, and show a little more love and care towards my daughter - instead of resenting her and resenting her parents for not cooperating.
        In case you are wondering, there are a few things they said that stabbed me in the heart. Actually we had to face a group of 5 teachers (teaching her class) One of the teacher started off with the complaint that my daughter has been taking other students' things. My response was - did she returned them? The teacher answered, yes, she would return the things when the students asked her. My next response was, : well, it's good that she is willing to return the things. But, I commented that my daughter's things (pencils, erasers, rulers, pencil sharperners) has been missing since the first week of school. Guess what was her response? "Oh, that one I don't know. You have to ask the class teacher." (yeah, she dismissed it just like that) and the class teacher were sitting there, saying nothing.
        And their famous 'quote' of the day? "I don't have time to notice her. I don't have time to pay more attention to her. I don't have time to discipline her. and when we are busy with the lessons and assessments, we will just put her aside" Wow ..... how to answer that?
         As a mother, I was crushed. But little did they know that the more difficult it is, the more determined I am. I know my daughter. I know what she needs. I am determined to give her the best environment - even if it means, I will have a tainted image of a selfish, irresponsible mother. Yeah - one of the teacher told my husband that if it were her child, she would directly put her in the special needs class - Yeah. IF. I might be weak, I get stressed. I cried. I lost my sleep over this, I might even suffer from thyroid due to the stress (in the process of diagnose), But after the process, I'll emerge stronger. Like they say, do not annoy a woman. ESPECIALLY a mother.
          I kept repeating to the teachers, to take time to understand her. (it'll be another post, on how the headmistress finally admits to me some of the things she just discovered about my daughter - which are good things) If only the teachers are willing to give her some more time, especially the first few years. I am keeping track with my daughter's overall improvements -

In speech : (she makes more sounds nowadays and called me 'mama' several times this week (when I asked her, sigh - it has been quite awhile),

Social skills : (which the teachers did comment that she is playing with the classmates), her latest feat : giving flying kiss when required to say good bye.... hihihi (nope, I didn't teach her that), and she have friends in school! : they would hold her hands and guide her patiently to go down the staircase. (she's still afraid of going down unfamiliar staircase. No problem in going up. The computer class is upstairs)

Independence skills (going to the toilet and back (no more accidents in the class) by herself, going to the school hall, computer room, and back to class - with friends or by self, sitting properly in class during recess time - eating from her lunch box), and I'm glad she knows how to fight for her rights. (she was absent from school a few days, due to fever, and when she's back to school, she saw that her seat has been taken by another student. Other students told her to go and sit at the back - but she refused, and shoved herself onto her seat, forcing the other student to give in and return to her seat at the back- my father in law was there and saw the whole process, and no, she did not hurt the other girl while shoving herself onto her own seat. :)

In academics : One of the teacher even mentioned that she actually pulled the teacher's hand to help guide her to write her work. (I told the teachers that she is now in a phase where she can actually recognize and write the alphabets, but she lacks confidence, thus needs someone to touch her, even if it's only on her wrist - she can write, or even copy some of the words) - but the teachers' response was - NO TIME. sigh

          I am open to any type of changes if it's to her best interest. I might even apply for her Special needs card and send her to a special needs school in future - IF she is still not able to cope in the mainstream. But for the time being - I firmly believe the mainstream environment is the best environment for her. Besides, I can't shield her from the negative side of human nature forever. My daughter is a tough girl. She can be as stubborn when she wants to. And most importantly : I believe in her. I believe that God has a grand plan for her and time will reveal everything.
       
       

Primary 1...

          We started the first day of school in a daze. With heavy heart, I had to go to work, praying hard that everything will be fine with my daughter on her first day in Primary school. My husband sent her to school. We were nervous and wanted to do everything right from the start, but ended up making mistake for being too 'obedient'. When we met her school headmaster a few days before the school opens, we were told that we have to arrive by 6:45am. I kept reminding my husband to be earlier to secure a front table for Joy. He went early, but the school wasn't even opened. The classroom was still locked. So he brought Joy to the toilet, which she went without a fuss. But the drama began when she came out of the toilet to find a whole group of students with parents all waiting outside the classroom. And she refused to go into the class. Our prediction was that she was overwhelmed by the sudden 'appearance' of these people, which I assume was not being quiet. You know how mothers are when they are in school, especially 'home makers' when they met with other mothers they know... phew... I wonder if they thought that school is a meeting place for them to vent about their household and children. (anyway, not meaning to offend any homemakers out there - it's just what I've observed and experienced when I was at home on leave for a few months previously)

          Anyway, my daughter refused to go into the class, and instead pulled her father to the car and sat in the car. They waited in the car until the other students (and parents) were rather settled in her class. The headmaster saw both of them on their way back to the class and insisted to take over. She took my daughter by the hand and asked my husband to go back - insisting that parent's presence may be the cause of her reluctance to be in class. 

          Well, my husband wasn't really convinced. He re parked his car in a hidden corner to watch. As predicted, my now crying (loudly) daughter ran out of the class - towards the staircase (the toilet was under the staircase) , looked and searched everywhere looking for someone - and finally made the bee line towards the school gate - at which, the teachers and headmaster who has been watching her had to run and hold her back. 

          By the time I called the school around 8 am, I was told that she is in the headmaster's office (thank God, not crying) because she was distracting the whole class (and I think the whole school). I was told that the headmaster tried to talk to her, and did a bit of assessment with her - and everything wasn't looking pretty from there. 

          I was told that she couldn't understand people, can't write, and will face / bring lots of 'troubles academically.  Sigh... this is certainly not what I had anticipated for the first day of MY work too. Both hubby and I were very moody at work and we started having headaches. 

          I started calling for advise from her previous tuition teacher and was given some pointers on what to do. I followed her instructions and Phew..... she did rather well on the second day in school. She went into her class by herself (daddy carrying her bag following behind), sat on her allocated chair and started playing with the zipper head on her bag. (I assume this was for her sense of security). When her daddy reminded her to hand in her Buku Kesihatan, she took it out of her bag and handed it to her teacher who was just in front of her. (I am smilling as I typed this). When I went to fetch her after school, I purposely parked where I can see her class, and observed the class from far. I can't see what is going on in there (too far) but I can see some students looking out the door or windows towards the parking lot. 

          My daughter came to the front door once, and I saw her 'playing' with a friend. I purposely waited until some of the parents went in and fetched their children. I wanted to see if she will come out of the class by herself - as the teacher is no longer in the class. She didn't. When she saw me, she handed me her bag. At the same time her Maths teacher came in, and I stopped to chat with her for awhile, at which my daughter started pulling me to go...  but she obediently took her water bottle and drank her water while I continued talking with the teacher. By the way, she did not drink water at all during school time. On the first day, it was full when she got home. The second day, she only started drinking when I asked her to - when I fetched her - and she finished half the bottle in the car. I try to be positive about this - maybe she is still overwhelmed by all the new things happening. (I don't even dare to ask of she's going to the toilet) - I think this can wait. I am more concerned about her behaving herself in the class. So far, I have not had calls from her class teacher, which I took it as a good sign. But the Maths teacher has been telling me that she is not listening from her original allocated seat - the frnt row near the window - and during maths, she has to sit next to the teacher's table - I  have no objection to this. (I secretly hoped all the other teachers would do this too) _ though the Math teacher told me that the seat next to the teacher is for 'naughty' students. 

Another notable point is that she can actually recognize my car. I think perhaps she saw me from her classroom. After getting out of the class, I asked her to walk by herself and find my car. I wanted to see if she can get out of the classroom and get to the gate by herself - as the grandfather will be fetching her most of the time. She walked out of the gate (looking at me once in awhile) with me following her with her heavy bag. She went directly to my car albeit slowly. (I think her feet hurt from wearing shoes the whole morning, though I was sure the shoes were not too small - she was almost tip toeing wearing the shoes and took the shoes off at once, when she got in the car) - have to find out the reason to this... 

Anyway, it has only been 2 days. Hopefully next week will be better. Please pray for her!

Year end updates on my boy!

          I've been keeping some news (and photos) to myself and waiting for the proper time to make a grand post of my son. He has certainly made me so proud of him.
       

I think this is his first drawing with people in the scene.

There are quite a few others - there's one with a whole team of basketball players playing basketball. Anyway, I took this picture for keepsake. It's not easy to keep up with his arts as he either colours or draws all the time, whenever he is free, on any piece of paper.

He's very keen on home laid eggs... in fact, he only takes eggs laid by the hens in my in-law's backyard. He observes closely whenever any hen flew into the box, clucks and flew away.... he even taught me how to know if the hens laid eggs in the box. Then he took it as his responsibility to collect the eggs. 

He begged to participate in singing competitions. As of now, he sang in 7 different occasions on-stage. He had his eyes on the bigger trophies, but is just as happy to get the consolation trophies. I am just as happy that he enjoyed the experience - frankly I don't really like the way the competitions were organized. nuff said. Anyway, I doubt that he will get these chances when we change his kindergarten next year. 

He did well in his piano lessons too. I sat in for 15 minutes during one of his lessons. What can I say.... I don't play piano... and I am really amazed with what he knew. Well, at least, he knew something that I'm struggling to learn.... hahaha. 

I know, I am soooooo not musically inclined. 

Anyway, I am still waiting for his last 'semester' paper. He has been complaining that I did not help him do revisions with his school books - that's the reason he didn't get more 100 marks. Well, I am guilty as charged. I really did not mind his marks on paper, as long as I know he is learning well. Besides, he goes to school for 2 sessions - morning AND afternoon- the teachers have ample time to do revisions. 

I just focused on more interesting things I can prepare on the whim without worrying if it tallies with the books in school. Another reason is that the teacher and I discovered that too much repetitions bore him. So I need to provide him with new things just to keep him interested. And I love it when he shows such interest in new things and information.

'Till then......

School Progress report

We met with both the teachers teaching my son and daughter last Saturday. The chat with Jay's teacher was simple and brief. She commented that Jay is doing well in school, obedient, and mature. Though naughty at times, he is considered very independent. I am glad we taught him early on how to react to the comments about the birthmark on his face. The teacher noticed that he is very optimistic when the little children asked him about the birthmark. His answer will be : "Jesus gave me this to show how much He love me and He is always taking care of me".

Once again the teacher suggested that Jay be put into Kindergarten 1 (for 5 years old) since he is very enthusiastic in learning, but is bored when the teacher had to do repeated revisions on previous lessons. The teacher could clearly see how he is feeling about the lesson : start talking to others, looking here and there, listening to others conversations, and generally the body would slouch. But when the teacher is teaching new materials : he would sit up straight and looked on without being distracted by others. 

He is still a perfectionist. He takes a long time to do his work in school, because he would keep asking the teacher if he did it correctly. At home, he would erase the same word again and again until he thinks the handwriting is perfect.

As for Joy, we talked for almost an hour. The teacher describes to me how she handles her in class and how she reacts to the teacher and the teacher assistant. The gists of the discussion : Joy is now aware of what others are doing and she would expect to do the same activities - or else - she would start doing something out of the ordinary to attract the teachers' attentions. (eg, smear glue all over her head - when she didn't get to do a cut and paste activity) Oh dear! And since she could sit together among the other students, the teacher would sometimes forget that she needs to pay more attention to her. The result? Little Joy would do something to get the teacher to call her. (In the first few weeks, her name was called every few minutes.)

The teacher is now able to call her or ask her to do something without the teacher needing to be in front of her and repeatedly tell her what to do. She could now just call out to her from the other side of the room for her to do something. Yup, I didn't realize this before, but this applies at home. So this is a progress, right?

By the way, little Joy did go to the toilet on her own and returned to her class - all by herself. Once. This is something. I told the teacher to give her more opportunities like this, to get used to the "going and coming back." Another progress is that little Joy is more willing to wait together with the others when it's time to go home. She no longer cries when the bell rings and when she sees others going home. Now they sit in a row outside the class, and she would stand up only when she sees her grandfather or her brother. I am very relieved to hear this.

Anyway, we have the same concerns for her. She refused to talk, and still not writing. The teacher agreed when I express my plan to teach Joy myself in the afternoon instead of sending her to the afternoon class. The afternoon sessions are mostly group activities and all the students need the teacher's attention. I'll have to  think deeper on this, as I do not want to waste time and energy sending only the brother to the afternoon class- leaving me with less than 1 hour to teach her at home before rushing off to fetch the brother - everyday. Just thinking about this makes me feel tired already. sigh... The teacher insists on the brother to join the afternoon class and suggested that he attend the full day (eat, bathe and sleep in school at noon before attending the afternoon sessions). But I am reluctant since my son has expressed his choice of going home with sister. I don't want him to think that we love sister more when we bring her home but leave him in school for the whole day till evening. sigh....  any ideas, anyone?

Happy 35th Anniversary!

Hi hi.... the title might confuse you. But no... it's not our wedding anniversary, and both hubby and I aren't that 'old' yet. It's my children's kindergarten's 35th Anniversary. Wow! No wonder they are having a grand celebration. The lady who started this kindergarten is 70+ years old. Imagine that! She would have her children, grandchildren or perhaps even her great grandchildren studying here.

The celebration cum Kindergarten 2 graduation night was a real eye opener for me. I have heard both good and bad things about this school. I have never even thought of sending my children here, if it weren't for a friend who recommended it for my daughter. It was a decision that I have not regretted. I mean, there are so many regrets when it comes to trying to make the best decisions for my children. I regretted sending my daughter to her first Montessori kindergarten. She lasted less than a year. And I did feel a little regret sending her to her therapy for the last 2 years. (there's always a nagging guilt of what if I send her back to my parents earlier instead of the therapies - perhaps she would be able to talk and communicate to us by now) Well.... all those were in the past. But like I said, I did not regret having sent my daughter, then followed by my son to this kindergarten.

The teachers are very hard working, and caring towards their students. They are always so positive and have full confidence in them, believing that these little children have great potential in them. These teachers have worked in this conducive environment from the longest 24 years to 6 months. I am lucky that my children get to have some of the most experienced teachers. They are always ready for new challenges, going for course during school holidays, and improving their teaching methods. For the 2 years I've known the school, the teachers are all ever so ready to discuss about my children, giving me positive feedback - very rarely negative ones, and giving me ideas on how to teach them with love. They have been around little children ranging from 3 - 6 years old for so many years, that they seem to have encountered various types of children.  

Though there are people who mentioned negative things about the school, such as the syllabus is too hard, the teachers are strict and will hit their students.... well, which school doesn't have these complaints? From what I observed myself, as in their school vision - the teachers strive to teach and discipline with love and to instil the love of learning in their students. That is why every classrooms have educational toys, flash cards and story books! And every child is given the opportunity to be involved in extra activities such as drawing, dancing, singing, drama, etc.... For instance, my daughter who is non verbal, has been selected to go out  for field trips and been on stage for 'performances' over these 2 years. I imagine some other teachers who would just leave her behind for fear of the trouble to take care of her.

All in all. I pray for the teachers to be well and healthy. May God bless them abundantly for their services and love for their students. And may this kindergarten continue to flourish and bless many more little children in future. As for their new challenges of the whole-day system starting next year, I pray for God's grace and guidance that these teachers will do their best for the good of their students. Amen!

Rehearsals....

The kids are busy with their rehearsals this week. Their kindergarten is holding a grand graduation ceremony for the 6 year olds. Most students, ranging from 3 - 6 year olds have their chance to stand on the stage to perform. This year, they are doing this in a bigger hall. Last year was only held in their school hall.

My boy has been 'performing' and practicing' singing and dancing so frequently at home, that I've lost count of the songs or dance he is 'supposed' to do on the day. I did not bother to ask the teacher, since I am confident that my boy would be able to do his best. He did tell me he is partnering with a girl for a class performance. I tried to guess how many times he will be on stage.

As for my girl, I did not expect her to be on stage this year. She had a real 'experience' last year - she just stood at the back of the stage and looked at the audience. (how my heart ached when I hear people around me commented about her).

Yesterday, I was surprised when I was told to send BOTH of them to the Dewan Suarah for rehearsal! I stayed there to watch the rehearsal, and took a few short videos of them. My little boy did his best, just as I thought he would. He sang as loudly as he could (Now I know why he sounds a little coarse these few days - from the singing) and he danced well, even though his partner is absent. He told me that he will be on stage for 2 songs.

Before it's their turn to be on stage, their teachers gathered them in groups - according to their class. I sat in a corner, watching them. My little girl kept coming to me, and I had to tell her to go back to her friends. Her teacher assigned a classmate to keep watch on her. My, she really did. Whenever my girl stood up and start to walk away, the girl would pull her back and tried to make her sit down. As they are waiting at the back of the stage, she ran after my daughter a few times, to pull her back to their group. When it is their turn for the rehearsal, the spunky girl's duty is to keep my daughter standing in line while others dance. (I wonder how the parent would feel when they saw her having to 'look after' my daughter)

Anyway, my daughter refused to dance and tried to come to me. (I had my camera directed at her). In the end, I just hugged her and brought her off the stage. When I asked her teachers, they said that she can dance. Of course, she would not follow all the steps correctly, but at least she is happily jumping up and down in line - the whole class is dancing in line, so she would not look so different. What came to my mind is that, perhaps this little daughter of mine is refusing to dance in front of me - which is not very surprising, since she has refused to do alot of things in front of me.

I tried to hint that perhaps she should not go on stage - but the teachers are so optimistic and said to just let her have the chance to be on stage. I really don't know. So, do I have to hide myself on the real day, and hope that she would perform her best if she did not see me?

Another decision made... tentatively

We made another big decision today. (seems that every time I write about decisions, they are all BIG decisions.) Anyway, yesterday I had another 2 long meetings with my boy's teacher and Joanne's next year teacher individually. Initially I was worried the whole day when MIL told me that Jay's teacher wants to meet me. hmmm... usually when the teacher wants to meet the parents, it's not always a good thing, right? - especially when she wants to see me as soon as possible.

Phew... it was a relief however to find out that the teacher was just eager to let me know of the changes the school is planning for next year, and she wants me to make my decision as soon as possible, or else my kids will not have a place in the school next year. They are revamping their school system, and changing the half day schooling to a whole day programme. And they are going to cut down the number of students to around 50%. It means that for those parents who does not agree with the whole day programme will have to leave, and those who did not register fast enough may not get a place.

I was actually quite happy/relieved with the change, as I was battling emotionally with the same decision for Jay next year. I initially wanted him to stay the whole day (with the afternoon only for play and his teachers as nannies) so that I can concentrate with Joy alone. I also wanted him to learn independence and overcome his picky eating habit. (MIL took care of him too well, and somehow turned him into a picky eater. - this one dunno how to eat, because he is still young, etc)

The whole day program is not all about study. The morning will be dedicated to the government kindergarten curriculum, and the afternoon will be more of extra curricular activities, where they will be exposed to music, dancing, wushu, drawing, singing, computer, crafts, etc - fun and hands on activities.

But the hard decision is about Joy. If she continues in the same school, she would have to follow the whole day programme too. I really did not mind the extra activities for her in the afternoon, but what I am worried about is her lunch and bath. If she stays for the whole day, the teachers would have to feed her, and bathe her. (she usually refused to bath unless it's at MIL or our own home.) - I told the teachers that she would be harder to handle.- especially that she is REALLY a picky eater who would not open her mouth if she doesn't want to. At home, we usually had to force her to eat, after the first few spoons. Her choice of food is very limited to leafy vege, eggs, fish, and just recently learnt to eat meat. Any other 'weird looking' things/colours in the spoon, - she would automatically shut her mouth tightly. and she would just walk off.

In the end, we decided to leave Jay there for the whole day, including for lunch and bath. And Joy would go back to grandma at 12 pm for lunch and bath, before she goes back to school for the afternoon program at 2pm. Her teacher promised me to personally help her to get used to the new routine and to fit in.

This new school system actually frees me from having to do any activities with the children in the afternoon, or even at night. (They would be too tired by then) But somehow I still feel that I needed to spend more time with them instead of leaving them to the teachers. But I feel that I can trust them too. Throughout the year, I would sometimes be busy at work until evening, or sometimes too tired, or sick. During these times, I would be neglecting my children, if they are at home. Besides, the team of teachers are really wonderful people. Over the 2-3 years, I've learnt so much from them, and I can see that they are really devoted in teaching their students.  I am really thankful that God lead me to them.

Anyway, this is just a tentative plan. We would have to wait until next year to see how things will turn out. Everything will only be guessing game for now. I pray, and I believe that God will smooth out the tiny quirks and details. Needing your prayers too.

More decisions to make....

Lately I have been teaching poems in my English classes. One of the discussions in one of the poems is about how well we adapt to changes in our lives. I questioned my students on how they view every little decisions they make, and how these decisions lead to changes in their lives. And most importantly, how they view these changes.

Poems are very interesting. There are hidden stories in every line. When you think hard enough, the stories could teach you great lessons. And these lessons are adaptable into your current life and situation.

As to my current life... I have to make more decisions about my children. My mom has been telling me to send my daughter to socialize more with children of her same age. [as of now, she is attending preschool (4yrs), when she is supposed to be in kindy 1 (5 yrs)]. Her reasons were simple. She hoped that by socializing with children of the same age, she would have to opportunity to observe them, and hopefully she would be motivated enough to improve more - especially in her speech, life skills and handwriting.

But the problem is that, her school now might not allow that. (I have yet to talk to the teacher). I can already guess how they would argue why my daughter could not be allowed to join the Kindy 1 classes, especially now that she has been missing 8 months of their lessons.

Anyway, I hatched up a few plans. This Saturday, she would have a try at attending a play based enrichment class in town. This means that she could not go back to my parents for the weekend. And if the teachers at the enrichment class did not reject her, she would be attending the classes on Tuesday night and Saturday morning. It would mean another change in our routine. Whatever it is, I'll wait for tomorrow to see if she can fit in the enrichment class to determine how we are going to adapt.

On this Sunday, I am going to send her to the Sunday school alone. Without the brother. One of the reason is to let the Pastor have more time to understand her, instead of having to handle both new kids at the same time. Perhaps when she is used to the Sunday school, then I'll send the brother too.

All in all, these are considered minor decisions. What I would consider big decision is to change her school to a new Kindergarten, so as to enable her to attend class for her age. But then.... it's not as easy as it seems.

The Ultimate Guide to Everything!

I am very impressed with the generosity of bloggers who worked hard to compile wonderful lists of ideas and resources of various topics. I found this list over at GranolaMom4God. If you ever have any questions on any areas of homeschooling, or even just afterschooling your kids, there sure will be something there that might be able to enlighten you. I am definitely going to spend a lot of time going through some of the topics.

Tips to nurture creativity and The power of play

This is a link to a great article on nurturing and growing creativity. I think everyone needs some help (and I certainly needs a lot of help) when it comes to thinking creatively.
Here is another link on the importance of play for our preschoolers.

July update from teachers

I only get to see my children's teachers every Friday, when I fetch them after school. Usually Joy would be crying and can't wait to go home. (she disliked waiting. My father in law usually is the first one to appear at her classroom door when the last bell rings, but on Friday, she has to wait for at least 20-30 minutes for me to arrive). Whenever I wanted to have longer chat with their teachers, I would go there after my father in law fetched them. (saves me the trouble of the distractions).


The kindergarten is opening new enrolment for next year. I had to go and see her teachers to ask about Joy's  overall improvements in class. My main concern is her ability to cope independently in primary school in 2014. Next year I'll have to register her for sure. There's no way out. No other options.


The feedbacks from her teachers are rather encouraging, though not as much as I'd expected. (I am rather nervous for her, and almost wishing to hear some sort of miracle happening when I wasn't looking).


1. Joy's classmates has been telling the teacher that Joy sings in class. The teacher doesn't usually notice or hear her, but her friends can even tell her what songs Joy is singing. (I fully understand this, as Joy speaks and sings so softly.) Some of the songs she sings 'Yu er, yu er shui zhong you' (Fishes swimming), and 'E,ai,ee,ai,ooo' (From Old McDonald),


2. She loves to touch her classmate's long hair. (hi hi, maybe because her hair is so short now. She plays with my hair too.) She lets her classmates pull her into their play, and moves among them. - No longer staying alone in a corner. She is learning to share too, as her teacher would sometimes ask her to give her a piece of her snack. (she is showing her understanding in the concept small vs big. She always gives her teacher a smaller piece. When her teacher wants a bigger piece, she would take out, quickly put it in her mouth, and picked a smaller one for the teacher. hi hi) She also reacts when her classmates wanted to take her snack. (hi hi, at least this shows that she knows that the snack belongs to her)


3. Goes to toilet in a group. So far, no more problems with accidents.


4. She knows and follows the rules of not drinking from milk bottle. She now drinks her milk from her cup, by herself. (the teacher pours for her).


5. She takes out her snack box and drinking bottle and puts them in the designated place (with teacher's oral prompt). and puts them into her bag before going back. We agree that she needs to be trained to do this without prompts. Every morning, she just walk in the class and forgets about her school bag. Grandfather will bring them in for her and puts it into her shelf.


6. She is getting dependent on her classmates who loves to take care of her. She would wait for them to help her to wear her shoes. But when the teacher stopped them from helping, she could wear them with no difficulty. Hmmm.... This is more evident when it's after school holiday. (because we did not ask her to wear shoes at home. She only wear sandals.)


7. She is sitting more during lessons. One teacher told me that she did not even realise that Joy is in the class when she goes there, looking for her teacher. Everyone was sitting nicely on the floor. (last year, Joy is always moving around the class and sitting perhaps for less than 5 minutes at one time).


8. I am glad to get assurance from the Head Teacher, that she will personally take on Joy next year. She is the only one who has an assistance all year round, and she will make sure Joy is properly trained for primary school. I am praying hard!

A Perfectionist?

I had a meeting with Jay's teacher last week. The result of the short discussion about Jay, had me and hubby thinking a lot. Here are some of the things we talked about.

1. His teacher kept repeating that Jay is very matured, and different from her other 3 year old students. She also mentions that my little boy is a perfectionist.
2. There are about 26 of them in the class, and Jay is the only one who could discuss solutions, and problem solving with the teacher, when they are doing reading sessions, and when the characters got into trouble.
3. I understand that Jay's understanding level is much higher, but couldn't really know how much it differs him from his peers. Every time the class does any worksheets, or colouring in class, Jay will be the first to finish, and kept asking the teacher for more. Of course, the teacher limits him, and asked him to go find other things to do, eg,  play with the educational toys from the shelves.
4. Jay did not want to try new things if he thinks that it's difficult and he can't do it well.
5. The teacher mentions that he needs longer time to get used to the idea of doing something new, and before he attempts to do it, he will observe other people first.
6. He is very sensitive to negative comments, and he takes it seriously. The teacher shared with me a few phrases that can be used or can't be used on him.
 *Donts'
- You have tried your best. (to him, it means that it's not good enough)
- It is good enough, as long as you try.
- That is not right.
- You should have...
- Just try....
- You are not singing loud enough

*Dos' (looking at the positives, but maintaining balance when praising him, or he'll get too proud)
- Good, bravo
- That is beautiful
- What do you think? (just follow his lead)
- Do you think this is the correct way to do it? etc

* He would listen and observe to comments given to his classmates and it seems to influence him too.

7. A very private boy. He couldn't and wouldn't go potty when there are people watching. He would scream, asking them to go away. (in this case, of course, his little classmates love to tease him and purposely stood near and watch him)
8. The teacher advised me to provide more activities for him at home, such as going to the park, swimming, reading variety of books, etc.
9. The teacher did admit that my little boy, being the only one with the different level of learning capability in the class, she had to follow the majority of the students. It is fortunate for me that, I couldn't teach him Chinese very well at home, and the kindy's main language is Chinese. This at least prevented him from getting too bored with school. So far, he really enjoyed going to school, and performing all that he learns in school to me and hubby.
10. Jay is still not confident enough to sing and dance in school. He is very different from at home. He loves to sing and does the actions songs that he learnt in school. He would climb on to a stool, and grab an imaginary microphone and sing for me and hubby. But he would not do it in school. He did not even want to join in the exercise session. He would just stand there and watch.
11. The teacher also mentions that this boy craves for attention and approval from adults. Whenever he is naughty, running around in the class with the other students, one stern look from the teacher would be enough to make him stop. he also likes to compare the quality of his work with other students, and wants approval from the teacher with everything that he did.

According to the teacher, through her experience, most of the time, these types of children will only dare to try new things when they get older. What do you think?

Heavy heart...

I finally went to get the registration form from the small school we selected for Joy. I walked into the compound, taking in the environment, and the safety aspect of the surrounding. I felt like a total stranger. The school is a Chinese school, and the labels for everything are in Chinese. I nervously scanned the labels and prayed that I won't have to ask anyone where is the office. Luckily, they did label with both language for some of the rooms. The office included. The clerks were not very welcoming, and I don't even get a smile. (A smile should be able to get this nervous mother more at ease to ask some of the questions I'd wanted to know about the school) It is an irony, since I worked in a school myself. Now I know how the parents must have felt when they had to come to their child's school for anything - especially if its due to disciplinary problems.

Since no one bothered to ask about me, I just helped myself and walked around the school. There's only one class for each level, and the classes are at the ground floor. The staff room and the office is on the first floor. Which is rather weird to me. Shouldn't they put the classes upstairs, to ensure that the children can't slip away so easily? But on second thoughts, perhaps they have their own reasons. Children are so naughty nowadays, they might climb the verandah, if they are on the first floor. Anyway, these are just my thoughts. It won't change anything.

The toilet is rather near the Primary One class. I didn't go in, but surveyed the surrounding. Being a small school, it means that the toilet is very near the gate too. and I noticed a hole in the fence above the drain next to the toilet. I hope I am not being to critical here, but children are so small, they might even squeeze themselves out of that hole. Sigh.... I hope my girl will not have the inclination to even go near the place.

There is a playground on the other side of the building. I think it's meant for the kindergarteners. There is a kindergarten in the school compound too. I got a glimpse of what seemed like the canteen at the back, but did not get near. The school cleaner was looking and observing where I was going from afar.

But I did spend some time reading the notice boards around the school. From what I gather, it's quite an active school.... they even had tuition during this coming school holiday?!! They must really be gearing up for the big exam for the Primary 6 students at the end of the year. Gosh! No wonder I heard that this school has a rather good performance. I certainly hope it will work out to Joy's advantage.

Anyway, these are just my thoughts for now. I still have another school to visit before we make the final decision. Wish me luck! or better still... Please pray for me!

By the way, I drove away, still wondering about the size of the classes..... and the staff... sigh.

The Road Not Taken

The Road Not Taken


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same;

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost.

This is one of the poem I taught my upper form students, a few years back. It is a good poem, with different messages for both myself and my students. It came to my mind today, after I read a message from a sister in Christ, concerning Joy's registration for primary school. The registration starts on the 1st of March, and will only be open for a month. Which means, in the month of March 2012, I will need to decide where Joy is going to study Primary One. It will be in another 2 years, but rules has it that we need to register this year. 

I was driving back from school, and mentally cooking up ways and means to get her into a primary school that is suitable for her. At the same time, her lists of skills 'yet to be mastered' kept reminding me of possible problems if she goes through this plan or that plan.... 

The poem reminds me, that it is not easy to chose a road less trodden. Hubby and I were forced to go along this road by The Diagnosis. And we chose to fight it, the way we thought we should. We did not want to go along the well-trodden path of other parents with special needs. Yet. We chose to go along the road less trodden. Not knowing what is at the end of the path, knowing that there will be no return ticket. We wanted our girl to go to a school for typical children. We do not wish for her to be in special schools. (not that I did not ponder upon this option before, but I am not convinced that it's the best choice for my girl) I mean, she needs to learn to get along with people, be it with disability or not. There is a story on how to teach a person to swim. Push the person into the swimming pool, and he will definitely try his best to splash and swim for dear life. I know it will not be easy for both hubby and me, and Joy, but we don't want to isolate her into special class so soon. She needs to be given the chance to prove to everyone and to herself, that she is able to learn to get along fine in a typical school setting. When she grows up, she will need to include herself in the community, instead of being isolated.

There will be more obstacles as we go along this path. We had to overcome each one, praying that the end will be worth it. I know that going along the road taken by most parents will be an easier option. I, for one, will be relieved of all the complaints and glaring differences of my child with other typical children. But I am bracing myself to accept this challenge. I am ready to hear complaints, if it means that after the complaints, the teachers will try to listen to my suggestion or to find ways to overcome the source of the complaints.

So far, we have decided to send her to a very small school. In fact, the smallest we could find, that fits our transportation requirement. We have yet to take the action and register her. I am going to go and visit the school sometime next week, while it's still busy with students and teachers. Just to get a picture of how things are going to be. But for now, with the tentative decision, I offer up everything else to God. I believe He will show us the way, and guide us to overcome whatever obstacles (I already foresee) when the time comes.

Remember to pray for us!

A week in review.

I just had to find a topic to write about. I am in such a state, that I need to write, to help me collect my thoughts and get things done. Amidst the chaotic feeling I am having now. I am so glad that I still have my ipad. Thank You, Lord.

Last week was a blurr to me. Things at work are not very smooth. (I have no intention of relating it - since I want to just forget it. - hopefully I will, after sometime.) Things at the kids' school are both discouraging and encouraging. I just don't know how to think of it.

Joy's teacher was trying to wean her off her milk bottle at school.- and Joy is not cooperative at all. She had all the other teachers worried for her. her last year's teacher Anna even called me to let me know how things are in the past month, and reminded me to please bring her milk bottle to school again. (I guess she really created a havoc)

Last Friday, I had a long chat with the principal of the kindergarten. She was suggesting that I let Joy back into preschool - of course, with a different teacher. Her reasons were simple and I understand that she really cared for Joy. She admitted that all her kindergarten 1 teachers for this year are not very experienced teachers, especially with special needs. Joy's teacher is a new teacher. And both kindergarten classes has 35 students. The principal has even provided another teacher helper to help with Joy's class - since her teacher is not able to give more attention to Joy. I am very grateful for this as I know that Kindergarten 1 classes have only one teacher and no helper.

However, as I related to her of how things are at home, and how I handled Joy at home, the principal was convinced  that the problem lies in having a teacher that understands my daughter - regardless of which class she is in. We'll just see how things are next week. Last year, teacher Anna took 3 months to understand Joy and together we could see improvements in her. My hope is that Joy will meet a caring teacher that is willing to ask and learn how to handle her.

I have been listing the pros and cons if we let Joy back into her preschool class. We know that acedemically, she might be bored, since she knew her alphabets, numbers, shapes and colours. But there are also some thematic work and vocabulary, and phonics and math and science concepts that I knew she needed to work on. She also needs to work on her penmanship and overall independence in school. I am already working on them at home - but not too consistently, - and with the present condition I am forced into (with all my files gone - thanks to the corrupted hard disk) - I doubt I will have much time. Plus, I really find it hard to teach her to read in chinese, since I went to public school that emphasizes on English Language as the main language. Eventhough I speak Chinese, the chinese characters are foreign language to me.

On the other hand, Joy could really have more time to focus on her independence and life skills if she go back to preschool. The syllabus is not as intense as her syllabus this year. And the preschool teacher they recommended to take her in has many years of experience with several special needs. - plus she has only 25 students in her class. sigh....

The principal also commented on Jay's maturity. She seemed so sure that Jay would do well in preschool instead of remaining in play school. Play school does not focus on academic, and Jay is so interested in everything, even penmanship. (have I mentioned that he wrote 'J' all by himself the other day?) - All I did with him was to hold his hand and write his name on every piece of crafts he made. And now he could almost write his name. (hubby and I are so proud of him!) - mind you - she almost convinced me to let him go to preschool. sigh.... how would it be like if both my kids (aged 5 and 3 - are in preschool?) - hard to imagine.

Primary School?

We were slapped in the face with another decision to make, in another few months. Yup.... another few months, but we (meaning : me ) would have a lot of thinking to do. I discovered that we need to register Joy for Primary One in the school of our choice THIS year. Registering next year would be considered too late, even though she would only be in Primary One in 2014. Now, is that a difficult decision to make?

If I were to answer that question when I was pregnant with Joy, or even when she was only 1 year old.... It's easy. Hubby and I had it all planned out for her. Where she would go for kindergarten, primary school and even secondary school. Yeah... easy decision....
when I don't have to worry about her adaptability in class and among her classmates and teachers,
when I don't have to worry whether she is bullied,
when I don't have to worry that she can't help it when she can't sit still or get distracted and run away from the class,
when she cries and is inconsolable when she is obsessed with things that does not belong to her,
when I don't have to worry about her being non-verbal and not able to voice out her needs....
when.... when.... when....
SO ???? I AM worrying about these things, and it IS a difficult decision to make.

I do not have the option to home school her. That's for sure. So, we are left with 2 options. Typical class or special needs class. We wanted her to be in the typical class. But this time, I don't think we have the luxury of the hit and miss with our school of choice.

With Joy's kindergarten, we chose the wrong place when she was 3 years old. We wasted one year. Later, we sent her to another kindy, where she met teachers who truly cared about her. And she thrived. But... how about primary school? I did not really search for a kindergarten back then. Our first choice was done for the convenience of my father in law, who would be sending her. When I realized that it was a mistake, I began visiting all the nursery and kindergarten available, trying to 'read' the teachers' reactions when I described Joy's non verbal and behaviour. (I would not even try to describe some of their reactions!) That was how I finally zoomed in to her present kindergarten. (and I am very grateful for the friend who recommended the place) It is very far from our neighbourhood, but it is certainly worth it.

But back to my core question?.... I guess I need to fast and pray more for God to guide me.... Do pray for me!

When more than 2....

I am a worrier. And my brain is forever thinking about my 'problems', and unless I find some acceptable 'solution' for the problems, I would, well.... continue worrying....

Not good for my health. Yeah, I know. And not good for my complexion too. Definitely. (I look old now). Anyway, like I said, I have to find an acceptable 'solution' to my present worry.

Our final decision not to let Jay skip his play school year to go to preschool. This is after a thorough discussion with hubby, his teacher, with my parents, and a friend.

But my concern is not of skipping the year. I am more concerned about his development, if he continues play school. Based on what his teacher explained, he already know most of the things that is in this year's syllabus. I am concerned that he would get bored, and dislike school.

Both my parents and also my friend suggested the same things.
- to expose him to the world of books.
- to help him build his vocabulary (oral and printed)
- my friend is even kind enough to give me a guideline on how to have the learning structured so that he would be exposed to all three languages (Chinese, English and Malay) - since we are Malaysians, all three languages are important for his future education.

These are sound advice from experienced people. And I am sold.

Now, I have to worry how on earth am I going to juggle between a full time work, teaching Joy and teaching Jay. It is clear that both the kids needs different approach to learning. And I certainly did not want Joy to slack nor Jay, to be understimulated. He certainly showed that he needs a lot of stimulations (as he keeps asking for 'homework' and crafts everyday) and he is so eager to learn anything. Who would want to stop this excitement for learning?

L - Ladybird

Ladybug from 1+1+1=1

A simple 'L' craft from the kids. We talked about the colours and shapes, and they get to practice on  simple fine motor skills - pasting the little dots. I did not cut the black circles provided, but I coloured some round yellow stickers with black markers. 

Updates on holiday classes

Joy
Language Class
During the first few days, she did not join her classmates, playing by herself, and runs off to the next class when the teacher is not observing - the next door class has some toys she is interested in.
This week, I observed that the teacher is creative enough to collect the things Joy is interested in a basket. She is not allowed to stay alone at the toy section, but sit together with the others in front. She is allowed to hold a little something(usually a sticker), and asked to pay attention when the teacher is teaching.
I am not too happy with her holding something in her hands during lessons, but the teacher reported that at least she looks at the teacher and the board once in awhile. Okay, I guess I have to be satisfied.

Arts and craft class
Not much. Everytime I go to fetch her, the teacher is busy doing something, circled by children. Joy is usually running around or playing by herself at the back of the class. From what I observed, she did not finish most of whatever they are doing. I'll just have to wait and see what she brings home at the end of this class after 2 more weeks.

Music Class
I have a feeling that the teacher's goal for her is not to cry and disturb the class. She still mentions that Joy looks bored, and hungry. Since last week, I prepared extra snacks for her, and she will have them during music time, and managed to reduce her crying. I am not too sure if this is a good plan. Seems to me she is wasting her time.

Jay
He reports to me everything the teacher teach. So far, its colouring, singing and storytime everyday. He learns blue, red, yellow, green and pink. Hmm.... The colour pink is really from school. I've not taught him pink yet. The vocabs (coloured)- apple, kite, circle, diamond, square, banana and watermelon. He has been doing worksheets with markers too. His teacher even thought that he is 4 years old and attending preschool next year! I told her he will only be 3 in February and he is attending play school. The class has children aged 3 and 4. So Its no wonder that she got confused. My little boy is very tall for his age and well built. The teacher said that he is very matured.
On the other side, the reality is, my little boy is still not yet 3 years old. He is still very young and not exposed to the school environment. He told me someone hit him in class, and I sometimes see the older ones pushed him away when he wants to get near the teacher during storytime.
When I inquire about someone hitting him, it was just because they were 'fighting' over a chair. Jay was smacked on the head by an older girl when he wanted to sit on her chair. Of course after the first week he got naughty too. He started running around like the other children, but he is still more reserved and prefer to observe the fun, and told me when there are any boys or girls who are naughty.

Resources

           Resources

  http://Prekinders.com
  www.Shirleys-preschool-activities.com
  http://amomwithalessonplan.com
  www.writingwizard.longcountdown.com
  www.schoolsparks.com
  www.printactivities.com
  http://quality-kids-crafts.com
  www.thetoymaker.com
  www.mathisfun.com
  http://preschoolexpress.com
  http://softschools.com
  www.teachpreschoolscience.com
  www.kidsofintergrity.com
  http://abcjesuslovesme.com
  http://raisingourkids.com
  http://amyswandering.wordpress.com Are We There Yet?
  http://linkandthink.wordpress.com everything on links
  http://twistynoodle.com http://littlegiraffes.com story props

 Alphabet Themes and Crafts

  http://momto2poshlildivas.blogspot.com
  www.activity-mom.com
  www.notimeforflashcards.com
  http://homeschoolcreations.blogspot.com
  www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com
  www.walkingbytheway.com
  http://1plus1plus1equals1.blogspot.com
  www.spelloutloud.com
  http://delightfullearning.blogspot.com

 Unit Studies

  www.2teachingmommies.com
  www.confessionsofahomeschooler.com
  www.walkingbytheway.com/blog/
  www.spelloutloud.com

 Wonderful blogs for reading and learning

  http://teachablemoments-jessica.blogspot.com
  http://eileensplace.blogspot.com
  http://simplehomeschool.net
  www.homegrownlearners.com
  http://moffattgirls.blogspot.com
  http://mountainmamablog.blogspot.com
  http://homewithapurpose.blogspot.com
  www.threethinkingmothers.com
  http://creativitymypassion.blogspot.com
  www.thecraftycrow.net
  http://magnolialane-blog.blogspot.com
  http://heartofthematteronline.com
  http://notinadequate.com
  http://adventuresinhomeeducating.blogspot.com
  http://respectlovelearning.blogspot.com
  http://2flowerslearn.com
  http://momoftwinsplus2.blogspot.com
  http://timewiselyspent.com
  http://ourjourneywestward.com
  http://earlyliteracycounts.blogspot.com
  http://spunkyhomeschool.blogspot.com
  www.kathysclutteredmind.com
  www.adventurezinchildrearing.com
  http://reesematthewkam.blogspot.com
  www.teachpreschool.org
  www.handsonaswegrow.com
  http://mamapeapod.blogspot.com
  www.thebellyofthewhale.org