Jealousy...

We went back to my parents' for a few hours today, as hubby had to attend a formal function in my home town. My daughter definitely loves going to grandpapa, as she dragged us to the door (to go), right after I asked her if she wants to go, and I just hang up after confirming with mom that they will be at home.

As I related the happenings at my parents' house to hubby when he is back - his response was "It's good that she is openly expressing her emotion'. hmm.... I think so too. What really happened?

Well, Little brother asked grandmama for a tidbit from a tupperware. Mom did not think of asking the sister ('coz she knew my daughter won't want to eat it). But my girl rushed to me and cried so pitifully as if someone bullied her. She won't settle, until grandmama comes. She was still sobbing, when I asked if she wanted to eat. She nods. So my father went to cook some eggs for her. 

But this lead to another problem. When grandpapa feeds sister eggs, the little brother got jealous, and wanted some too. But he still has some flu and not allowed to eat eggs. Then he asked me for noodles and specifically wanted grandpapa to cook. He specifically said that he did not want me to cook! Oh well, when grandpapa feeds little brother noodles, it's the sister's turn to be jealous. She sat near grandpapa and fussed. Dad thought that she wanted noodles too, but she refused to eat the noodles. I tried to get her into the kitchen to eat the remaining eggs, but she won't budge! She just continue to fuss beside grandpapa. 

Phew! After dad finish feeding little brother and got the eggs out for her, she smiled so happily! I think I need to learn something from this... My kids are very possessive of us adults' affection! How do you teach them to share?

Grandparents' Love Therapy #16

It is very, very encouraging to see my little girl showing improvements day by day. As usual, we sent her back to my parents' on Friday afternoon. And I heard her 'communicating' with my parents! Let's see:
1. She called my father 'Wai Kong (grandpapa) - two times, continuously. The first time, she said voluntarily, as she wanted grandpapa to do something, and I asked her to repeat - and she did! (previously, she called both my parents (Wai) only - the shortened form of Wai Kong (grandpapa) and Wai Po (grandmama).
2. She said 'Ban Mang (help) - when she needed help with a measuring tape she discovered.

During the two days there, Dad tried to be stern with her and require her to do handwriting practice - unfortunately, she is not in the mood to cooperate. Mom brought her out to play with the other children - she was so happy that she did not want to come back in. Oh... by the way, she spontaneously called 'Di di' (brother) when she saw a neighbour's toddler - and she looks so happy when the boy called her 'jie jie (sister).

On Saturday night, when I phoned, she just finished cleaning up. As mom answered the phone, my little girl went to her basket and brought her pajamas to grandmama. That was the first time I heard her doing this without being told to do it. That night, dad has a dinner, and will only be home quite late. After mom told her that grandpapa will sure be back, she finally went to bed. (or else, she waited in the living room, and kept looking outside - eventhough she is sleepy). She puts her feet on grandpapa's pillow (I think just for the security feeling) - and she woke up for awhile when dad needs to move her position to get his pillow.

All of us had a short nap at my parents'. A 45 minutes drive in the rain is quite exhausting (even when I am not the one driving). Besides, Joy took my hands and lead me into the bedroom to nap with her. It feels so good to be needed like this :)

At home, she spontaneously spoke so many words, that I have to try my best to remember them. Hmmm.... She said 'Yao chi - want eat' happily and climbed onto the dining chair when hubby came back with packages of food. She happily surveyed the vegetables - but today we did not buy her favourite vege. But we discovered something new! She actually tried the green broccoli, carrots and my sweet and sour soup!!!! Wow! She has always been very picky when it comes to food, and today she tried all three with no fuss. She even showed hubby that she wanted the soup in her plate (by spooning the soup herself and transferring into her plate, way to go, girl!) Later, as she is still hungry, she went to get a packet of noodles and handed it to hubby. Hubby asked her to bring it to me. She said 'yao chi, and 'chia' (meaning eat in both Chinese and Foo Chow)

Mom confirmed something I observed awhile ago - that my girl would not repeat what she has already said. Perhaps she does not think it is necessary and it is very 'rude ' of us to kept asking her to repeat her words. I am going to keep this in mind, and not to force her to repeat her words so many time....

All in all, it has been a great ending to my weekend. Gan ba teh, my girl!!!!

... He will turn my mourning into gladness; He will give me comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

~ Jeremiah 31:13

Grandparents' Love Therapy #15

This week, I have such positive feedbacks from my parents, that for now I am feeling such awe over my daughter. There is so much in her that I did not know, and everyday she is revealing a little bit more of herself. - Her true self. Her inner thoughts. Her personalities.

Now, I am not sure how other children with the same diagnosis would behave. I have never been in such close contacts with them in their home surrounding.  I did not observe them for long periods of time. All I knew are from their parents or from books. The parents may not share my choice of 'behaviour' or 'achievements' which is worth celebrating.

Every now and then, my parents would assure me that there is nothing wrong with my daughter. Her only problem is that she does not talk. Yet, they are convince that she is talking - if you listen attentively to her babbles and through the noises that she made. (to me, they are mostly incoherent babbles) They seem to understand what she is saying more than me. (perhaps it's due to the fact that they have been teaching little children for so many years.)

A few stories mom related to me;

1. Mom and Joy was out for morning walk. As usual, she was very happy and bubbly. But she suddenly stopped, and dragged grandmama home. As soon as they reached home, she rushed to the telephone and investigated it. It wasn't ringing. Mom said she almost cried as she kept close to the phone. (She thinks Joy is waiting for my phone call - I called rather late) After mom comforted her, telling her that perhaps mummy is busy, she went to her room to play. (she usually plays in the bedroom) As soon as the phone rings, she quickly ran out to see if it's my call. She listened for awhile as I talked to her, and went back to the bedroom happily.

2. Rather late at night, my brother phoned home. My parents and Joy were in the bedroom. She was sleepy. But she rushed to the phone. When mom told her that it must be her uncle, that mummy already called in the evening, she returned to bed.

3. On Friday, when she arrived at my parents', she 'asked' grandmama for biscuits that she knew is in the kitchen. (don't ask me how she 'asked' - I think mom just knew) Mom secretly told her that she could only have it after little brother goes back, because Jay is not allowed to eat the biscuits. You know what? My little daughter actually smiled and did not ask for the biscuits anymore. BUT as soon as our car is out of sight,  she went in to enjoy the biscuits. WOW! She actually knew how to keep secret????

4. Mom brought her to play at a neighbour's house. There are babies and children there. Naturally there are a lot of toys. Most of the toys are still wrapped beautifully in plastics. (The baby there insist on putting the toys in plastics and hanging it). My daughter wanted to open the wrappers, but mom kept telling her why she must not do that. Unable to open, Joy just played with the toys through the wrappers. (she love to flap the ears and tails) My neighbour, a kind lady, opened a toy for her. So my daughter played with the toy for awhile, then returned the toy to the neighbour and insist on her putting it back into the wrappers. She is done with the toy. Hmmmmm..... I am not sure what to comment on this. But mom said that shows my daughter is listening (to the adults - they did not ask her to return the toy) and knows that the toys does not belong to her and she must return it. WOW!

5. She showed her possessive streak of pulling grandpapa away from her little brother when Jay wanted to go near grandpapa. Hmmm..... Is this something to be happy about?

6. Dad said my daughter would be looking for his pajamas - goes into his bedroom and takes his pajamas and give it to grandpapa every evening, when she is feeling sleepy. If dad did not immediately go and change, she would fuss. At one time, the door to dad's bedroom was locked. Since she could not go in, she went to get the pajamas from the stack of freshly laundered clothes in the living room. The pajamas was near the bottom of the stack. She just put the others aside and picked up grandpapa's pajamas. - So, does this count as generalization in visual discrimination, and problem solving? - this convinces me that she is ready to get her own clothes whenever she needs to change.

7. I saw myself how she tried to coax grandmama to give her a chrysanthemum package drink. Jay is not feeling too well, so he is not allowed the drink. Mom told her that she already had it in the morning, and my daughter answered her loudly - 'yao a - Want'. - several times, while smiling, hugging and climbing all over grandmama. hi hi.... a determined girl. - But she still didn't get the drink.

8. When she saw me start gathering her things, she quickly went to wear her sandals and went out to the car. Dad helped her opened the door and she climbed in, waiting for us. - Sequencing skill?

.... He will turn my mourning into gladness; He will give me comfort and joy instead of sorrow.                                                                                                     (Jeremiah 31:13)

Grandparents' Love Therapy #14

Phew.... it has been rather long month for me. Things has been busy at work, and I got sick, twice.  The first course, I had flu and cough for more than 2 weeks. Today, I am still recovering from I don't know what - vomit one night, constipation, and the next day, feel so unwell and sleepy. I can't even eat anything solid or I'll my heart will feel so heavy. We suspected food poisoning. Anyway.... am getting better. Thank God! coz I have to work tomorrow!

The kids had almost one month break from 'school' at home - with me being sick and all. They had a one week holiday, and I sent Joy back to my parents since Tuesday and fetched her today. Jay was at MIL for 2 nights as hubby and I went off to recharge mentally.

Updates from my parents.
- Joy got out and climbed into a pail full of cold water in the garage. (grandpapa forgot to lock the door when he went out to town). Grandmama was in the kitchen when she suspected something is not right - it's too quiet.
- Joy has been practicing her 'tricks' on my parents. She would ask them to get her drinks or milk, and while they are in the kitchen, she would quickly throw all the pillows grandmama put on a sofa as a barrier to prevent her from climbing up the staircase. Once, she climbed onto a side table to get the music CD in the radio (which mom put very high up on the tv rack.)
- She read loudly from a book - (spelled out loudly and read the word, when she thinks no one is watching)  - 'C' 'A' 'T' - CAT - both my parents heard her very clearly from the kitchen. - But when they wanted her to read for them, she refused.
 - Mom's observation - Joy would read whatever that pleases and interests her, but not to please anyone else. She could draw quite well on the paper mom pasted on the wall - but is very limp when required to hold a pen to write in her exercise book. She even cried every time mom asked her to write her homework.
- After the first few days of not wanting to listen to my phone call, she finally listened for a rather long time last night. I think it was because this was the longest (5 days) she's away from home. This morning, she has been waiting all morning (we arrived in the afternoon), and after awhile, she began pushing the phone numbers, as if she wants to make a call.

A little about Jay;
- It's the first time we left him overnight, but he did not seem to miss us at all.
- He even asked why we had to call so many times and kept saying 'bye bye' - because MIL lets him watch TV all the time, so, he's having the time of his life! (I did not allow him to watch TV. Even if he gets to watch, it's only for a limited time each time)
- When we got home, he's been asking about sister all the time.
- This boy is getting materialistic. He thinks of us only when we are due to be back - because we promised him a present. (our fault) - but it's a lesson for me. I'll have to do something about his love for material things to satisfy his needs.

* Since I am still recovering from sickness, I think I'll have to put off any intense plans on 'school' for them. Health is more important than anything. It will be just homework, and a bit of this and that for the coming week. Hopefully it won't take too long. Till then!

Grandparents' Love Therapy # 13

It has been about one month since Joy went back to my parents'. This week, we sent her back again, on Friday afternoon and fetched her today (Sunday). Her reactions and the feedback given by my mother is not at all surprising to me.

Joy needed time to get used to my parents' place all over again. She needed to feel that she belonged there. She walked all over the place, getting out her books and toys, and seemed to me she is looking for my father. He is not at home at the time.

We brought along her radio to play her classical music (a new therapy method I am trying). I was told that she would operate the radio herself and turned the volume louder. (the music was meant to be turned on as a background music. The people in the room where the music is on are supposed to get the benefit of a calming and relaxed atmosphere (without really trying to listen to the music). Through this atmosphere, it is hoped that Joy will be more willing to cooperate in her learning and also able to sleep well at night.

Anyway, mom commented that Joy is rather attached to grandpapa all day. As usual, she waited for my phone and was very happy just to listen to me talking through the phone. I called rather late in the morning on Saturday (since I am working on that day), and Joy sounds as if she missed me. She kept calling out sounds like mi mi - (another way of calling mama). Mom brought her to a neighbour's house to play with the kids there. They are very accepting of her and called her all the time. Joy even responded 'shi!' (yes!) when the aunty asked her if she want a certain toy.

I noticed that mom blocked the staircase going upstairs. When I asked about this, she said that Joy would go upstairs to explore by herself. It is not very convenient for mom to climb up and down the staircase every time Joy wanted to go upstairs, in the end, she decided to block the path.

Joy was very happy to see me this afternoon, and sat on my lap all the way in the car. When I asked her to lie down, she slept.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #12

I think I should appoint someone to remind me once in awhile of this quote 
" If you want the rainbow, you will have to be willing to put up with the rain." ~ Dolly Parton.

Things has not been really encouraging this weekend, over at my parents'. First, Joy still refused to sleep at night. This time, my parents changed their approach. My dad pretended to be angry, told her that he is angry because she did not want to sleep (it's around 10pm), and he did not want to accompany her that night. He went back to his own bedroom, leaving my daughter with mom. My mother also pretended she is angry, switched off the lights and pretended to be asleep, while keeping an eye on her. Her reaction? She sat on her mattress for awhile, as if contemplating what is going on and what she should do. Then she lay down and quietly cried herself to sleep. My poor baby. Why must this type of approach work on you? Why can't you go to sleep when it's time for bed? You have not slept the whole day, and you should have felt tired by 10pm????

The second incident is when she purposely pee while having her dinner. She just sat there on the chair and it rained (heavily) while her mouth is munching away! This has not happened for a long time, and certainly has not happened at all at my parents'. They were shocked! Joy is capable of getting off the chair to go potty any time and they never restrained her moving around while having meals. And worst of all? She laughed! She laughed when she 'rained' on them and when she looked at their reactions. What is wrong here?

As usual, I tried to get to the root of the problem. Mom said that, the only reason she could think of is that Joy is getting back at them, because both my parents had their dinner first, before asking her to have hers. (She just had a bottle of milk, so they thought that she would not be hungry). I really don't know. Is my daughter really capable of such tricks of getting back at people? :(

This week, she is refusing to clean up after making a mess with all her books. Usually, mom would tell me how obedient she is, to pick up all her books and toys after playing. When I arrived to fetch her, all her books are everywhere on the floor in the living room. I had to prompt her to pick them up one by one. (Like hubby used to say, I am the only one that can ask her to do anything. Even as her daddy, he can't get her to listen to him every time).

Anyway, here's a picture of an activity Joy did at my parents.

Mom pasted printing papers on a big board and taught her to write whatever that is of interest to her. Previously she is interested in caterpillar. She helped Joy to draw a caterpillar by holding her hands and at the same time tried to sneak in some number recognition activities. This picture was her latest work, when mom tried to get her to do some counting with drawing lines to the appropriate number. Mom lets her scribble whenever she wants. Even little brother loves to go to this board and wanted to draw or writes on it.

I am holding on the the quote. Hopefully Joy's behaviour last week is just temporary. I know there will be ups and downs in her developments. I am praying for strength to handle them properly.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #11

Last week, Joy didn't get to go to my parents for the weekend. This week, she looked eager to go. She did not even wanted to follow us when we drove off. She just waved. Over the weekends, she did not come to the phone, but just contend to know that I called. On Friday night, she did not sleep well. My guess is due to the new milk bottle grandpapa bought her. (her own milk bottle is in the car and we brought it home! I only realised it when we arrived home.) I wasn't too convinced, but when I saw the milk bottle on Sunday, I was convinced. Joy wasn't that particular about her milk bottle, but the teat is too short for her. No wonder she finds it uncomfortable.

On Friday night, she wasn't sleeping well (slept late and woke up VERY early). She refused to let grandmama switch off the lights. Mom was tired by morning that she asked Joy if she wanted to go home. She asked a few times, waiting for her response, giving her choices of - if she will sleep better at night, she can stay until Sunday. If she still insists on sleeping late, then grandmama will ask mommy to come and fetch her. - My little daughter actually shook her head, indicating that she did not want to go home. (She seldom shake her head indicating no. usually it's cry or saying NO)

So, on Saturday, she slept really well. She slept 3 hours in the afternoon, and was asleep by 10 pm, waking up only at 7 am. Good, right?

Anyway, she was excited when we arrived and are eager to be back home.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #10

There's not much. Just that Joy was quite responsive and expressive when we told her we are going to grandpapa. Upon arrival, she went all over the place to make sure all her things are still around. (she didn't go there for 2 weeks) She can't find a book (which I've brought home) and kept looking for it. My mom asked her what is she looking for, and she answered loudly 'Shu' (book). Other than that, she just waved bye bye to us when we left. She nodded, showing her understanding when I told her she is going to stay overnight with grandpapa and grandmama. She refused to come to the phone, even once, to talk to me. But mom said she jumped up and down and laughed happily whenever the phone rang. After jumping, she went to lay on her mattress. : (
When we arrived this afternoon to fetch her, she was waiting at the door, smiling and jumping happily. As usual, she would not let grandpapa or grandmama hug her or bring her anywhere, for fear that I would leave her behind. She slept peacefully, sitting on my lap, head on my shoulders, on our way home. It was such a moment when I felt the strong bond we have as mother and daughter. (but I can sense there's a certain boy who is watching and there's a sour scent in the atmosphere.)

Grandparents' Love Therapy # 9

Since it is school holiday, we have decided to send Joy back to my parents for 6 days, 5 nights. This is a compilation of the short feedbacks I got from mom whenever I called.

Day one.
- Said 'hao chi' (nice to eat) two times. First time was prompted by my mom, and second time she repeated herself. (She was eating an egg for breakfast.)
- In the evening, she just came to the phone and said, 'hi' rather loudly and ran off. She is excited to eat her chips for snacks.

Day two.
- I called just as she came in from her morning walk. She refused to come to the phone, but instead went to rest on the mattress.
- I purposely called rather late in the evening today. Previously, I knew she would be waiting for my call before the sky gets dark. This time, she ran to the phone, listened and answered with a sound. (not too sure what it is). Mom said they just came in from their evening walk. I chatted awhile with mom, and Joy came to the phone the second time, and just quietly listened to me talking to her. Mom said Joy was very alert whenever the phone rang. She would listened to my mom or dad answering, just to make sure if it's from me. (mom assured me that, as long as she know that I called, it doesn't matter if I talked to her. She is just happy that I remember to call. Hmmm)

Day three.
- Mom told me of a funny thing Joy did last night. She did not have her afternoon nap, and was very sleepy around 7.30 pm. But she is still reluctant to go to bed. The reason being that Grandpapa is not sleeping yet. Then she thought of an idea. She went to take grandpapa's pajamas, and handed it to him. After grandpapa changed into pajamas, she went to bed, and fell asleep at once. I guess she is too tired after a whole day.\

Day five.
- Joy came to the phone and said 'C, O, E'.

Day Six (Back home at last!)
- As usual, Joy was jumping up and down to express her joy in seeing us. She won't let me out of her sight. I could see that she has been enjoying her stay at my parents. They prepared a big writing board for her. It's just a big piece of square board (used to be our study table when my brothers and I were young). Mom put up pieces of drawing paper with cellotape, covering the board. Both of them did a lot of writing and drawing on the papers. It's a good way to strengthen her wrist. Once, she even hold grandmama's hand on the paper and drew an outline of her hand. That's what I call brilliant! (he he, just because she never did that at home - and I consider it spontaneous play with grandmama). My parents told me that she has really been trying to speak more consistently. That is good news, isn't it? Gan ba teh, my dear!

Grandparents' Love Therapy #8

It feels like a very short weekend, or rather no weekend at all, since I had to work yesterday. I called for Joy twice early in the morning, and was told she is still sleeping. She slept rather late on Friday, woke up at around 3 am and then sleep again at 5 am. The moment I remembered to phone, it was already noon. Mom told me that Joy kept looking at the phone, and playing with it, perhaps expecting my call. Mom then told her that mommy already called twice this morning, while she was still asleep. Joy seemed satisfied with this explanation and went off to play somewhere. When I asked to talk to her, she came to the phone and said, 'hi' (I could hear dad prompting her).

Another new improvement this week is Joy reading the letter 'N'. She is still with the Cornflakes package, tracing and reading the few letters. Mom and dad are working on her differentiating 'a' and 'd' and counting 1-5 verbally. She could say 1,2,4,5 and one, two. I can't wait to see her improvements next week, when she will stay at my parents' for at least 5 days. It's school holiday for 2 weeks and I reserved at the rest of the days for her to enjoy family time. - Holidays are precious time to create memories as a family.

Oh, I said something to her that made her cry so pitifully. It was my fault and a reminder that my little girl is not very much impaired in her understanding. I told her that she is almost 5 years old, and she should work harder to talk. Then the girl started crying and find comfort in grandmama. My fault. Very sorry my dear.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #7

We had rather good feedback from my parents over this weekends. On Friday, she did not have her afternoon nap, and slept rather early in the evening. When my dad went out to my grandmother's place for the night, he did not have the chance to tell my daughter that grandpapa will not sleep at home for the night. As I predicted, my little daughter woke up in the middle of the night, and went looking for grandpapa in his bedroom. After going potty, she came back to my mom's room (which is just next door), and started crying loudly. Mom had no choice but to switch on the light (I told her previously not to switch on the lights if she woke up in the middle of the night). With the lights on, Little Joy is wide awake, and started learning her letters. She took the Cornflakes box, using her fingers to trace the alphabets, and reading 'C','O' - CON. (Previously, mom told me that last week, she has been using the Milo package box, to teach her the sounds and words, but my daughter refused to vocalise the 'm', 'i', 'l', 'o' - Milo, but instead went to find herself another box package (Cornflakes) and started reading the 'c' and 'o' - Con. This week, she even read the alphabets to me. Hooray!

When I called her on Saturday, she came to the phone and babbles. I seriously can feel that this girl wants to say something to me, but I couldn't understand her yet. After babbling awhile, she ran off happily.

On Sunday, we went to my parents rather early, to celebrate Mother's Day with mom. Joy is waiting at the door - not for us, but for grandpapa. Even when we are in the house, she kept looking outside whenever there's a car passing by. She is very happy when my dad arrived home. With the cake on the table, we tried to encourage her to talk - she did! she kept saying 'yao chi' (want eat), every time we asked her. Mom trained her not to nod her head as a response, but instead she must open her mouth to answer. 

In another scenario, mom has been teaching Joy to answer whenever people call her. She originally wanted her to answer 'Ooi', but my little girl answered in her own ways. Here's some snippets of mom's stories.

1. She told Joy that grandmama is going outside to do a bit gardening for awhile and she must respond when grandmama calls. Mom called her very often from outside, and Joy playing in the bedroom. Joy would answer in variety of sounds 'o', 'u', 'a'.

2. Once, when mom came into the house, she did not see Joy in the living room, and panicked. (She thought Joy is in the living room). She called out 'Eei, Where is Joy?' - My little girl answered loudly from the bedroom "Hi". She is reading together with grandpapa.

- I tried this with her later, and she did answer 'hi' to me. : )

3. When dad went out, and mom is busy cooking, Joy suddenly cried in the bedroom. Mom hid behind the walls and could hear her crying 'wai po' several times in between her cries. She is calling for grandmama, and she wants milk.

Summary report;

After going to my parents for the weekends, over the duration of 6 weeks, Joy is able to;

1. Vocalise the phonetic sounds of 'a,e,o,i,u'

2. Vocalise the letter 'A, O, C'

3. Very alert to people calling her from outside, when she is in the house.

4. Very alert to cars' going and coming.

5. Vocalise - 'wo', 'yao', 'chi', 'chu', 'ocean' - consistently, almost all the time, when we asked her to.

6. Singing "Oh... yeah" - her version of the song "I Love you more than I can say'

7. Shows improvement in her bladder control - her night pampers are dry in the morning. (have to remind myself to do follow up on this at home)

8. Shows much interest in using the phone - came to the phone to talk, or listen. Take the phone, trying to push the buttons, to call. 

Grandparents' Love Therapy #6 - Updated

I got rather positive feedback from both my parents regarding Joy. For a start, yesterday morning, I heard her saying 'ok' when mom told her it's me who called. She came to the phone and babbled something. Mom told me that my girl is starting to imitate more willingly. For instance, yesterday evening, she wore her shoes herself and took grandmama's hands. My mom asked her what she wants. She said 'Chu' (go). Mom asked her where, a few times - she answered "zhou, zhou (walk, walk).

At one time, she said her name so loudly, (even my dad in the toilet could hear her clearly) that she looked shocked, and kept touching her mouth. (mom was trying to get her to say her name). Now my little girl is more willing to imitate sounds. This was our main goal for her therapy sessions since she started her therapy at her center in 2010 - but the therapists dropped the goal with the reason that she is unable to do so, and it will be a waste of time and energy - she will cry every time she is required to imitate. Today, she repeated 'a, e, i, o, u' very clearly, syllable by syllable. This is such a great start.

This morning, she refused to come to the phone. My parents said she kept her eye on the front door, and once, even secretly hid in the room to cry - with tears. Perhaps she can't wait for us to arrive. She is very alert, and quickly ran to the door when our car arrived. She kept her eyes on me all the time. Once, I went to the toilet without telling her, she goes in and out of all the rooms and almost cry. She did not even want to go potty, fearing that I would leave without her. When it's time to go, she is waiting at the door for us, and very willingly waved bye bye to grandmama and grandpapa.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #6

Saturday, 5/5/12

It was a sweet-sour experience yesterday. We sent Joy back rather late, to avoid driving under the hot sun. The weather is crazy nowadays. We felt like we were travelling in an oven, though the air conditioner is on. Yesterday, I noticed that Joy is not very sure how to express what she wants, and how to answer my questions properly (body language - with nodding, or silence). Before we left her there, I asked her several times, if she wants to stay with grandmama and grandpapa. She nodded. And she even came, gave me a kiss, a hug and waved bye bye - after verbal prompting from me. It was rather assuring at that time.

However, when we started getting into the car, she followed from behind, without wearing her shoes. She resisted grandpapa's attempt to hug her, and tried to open the car door. When I opened it for her, she quickly climbed onto the car, said 'Yao chu' (want go) and pushed grandpapa's hands away, and ignoring their calls.

My parents tried to attract her attention to the flowers in the car porch. She loved flowers, and could not resist going to grandpapa, to get fresh flowers. As our car moved, I could see from her expression, she wanted to go home. She is almost crying. We decided not to stop and bring her back. But we went to town for dinner before  going home. After dinner, I phoned, and mom reported that Joy said/ repeated grandmama's prompt (want to go home - yao hui chu). But when Joy came to the phone, she just mumbled something, and ran away. I guess I can't expect miracles happening all the time.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #5 Updated (2)

There wasn't much for today. I phoned in the morning and the little girl refused to come to the phone. She was enjoying her milk, after getting the fresh air outside. (Mom brought her out for morning fresh air, before the whole world wakes up). I can imagine her drinking her milk, lying on the mattress, with her legs crossed up high. : ) From mom's observation, it doesn't matter if I talked to her. She thinks what matters most to my little girl is that we called, showing that we were thinking about her. hmm... logical, right?

The moment we arrived, Joy jumped up and down happily. She quickly raised her hands to be hugged, and reached for her daddy, when he asked to hug her. She nodded and answered 'yao a' (want) when hubby asked if she wants to go home.

One thing that I observed, is that mom starts to apply one of my techniques at home. She locked the doors to the kitchen, and the spare bedroom downstairs. She noticed that the girl would walk everywhere around the house to explore new things, and would not answer when called. Yup - I locked the doors to the playroom, their Study, and even the door to the kitchen. And of course, the main door is always triple locked. Both my kids have yet to learn to turn the keys on door knobs, to open doors. They both managed to turn door knobs, IF it is not locked. So far, this is working for me. Helps me to make sure that both kids are within my eye sight all the time, whatever they are doing.

As for speech, Hmm.... At least mom managed to get her to say "mummy" once. (nope, not in front of me - but I am praying hard.)

Grandparents' Love Therapy #5 Updated (1)

Monday (30/4/2012)

I am expecting more news about Joy, hence the title on Updated. For information, Joy skipped school today, as she is still with my parents. But I still have to go to work. This morning I have a very full schedule, and will not be free until after 9.30 am. On my way to work, I grabbed the first chance I get, while waiting for the traffic light, to call home. Joy was waiting for my call. Mom said that she did not sleep well last night, perhaps missing me. My parents talked and explained to her. And she kept calling 'wai'. Despite a rather restless night, she woke up around 5 am, and has been waiting near the phone, fiddling with the cords every now and then. Mom told her that Mummy is not free, and it's too early.

The moment I called, she came to the phone and listened. She even made some sound (can't recall it now), nodded and ran off happily.  Mom asked what did I say to her that made her nod. I was asking if she had her breakfast. Thereafter, she's happy and contend the whole morning. (I phoned again at 10am, she refused to come to the phone). I guess she is contend with me fulfilling my earlier promise of calling her once in the morning and once in the evening. I guess that I really need to seriously consider moving the whole family back to my home town.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #5

Both hubby and I were busy on Friday afternoon, that we decided to send Joy back to my parents today, after church service. I prepared her mentally last night, and she nodded her head in understanding that today we would be sending her back to my home town. She was restless on Friday, when we did not send her to grandmama. After I explained to her, she seemed okay. This morning, she seemed restless again, and kept saying something that sounded like "why" to me. Later, I began to understand that she was saying "wai" for "Wai Kong" (grandpapa). At church she was fussing, and when we went out for lunch, she actually cried - sitting on the chair. I was rather irritated with her at the time, but later realised that perhaps she didn't understand why we are still not on our way to grandpapa.

Only after we drove past the bridge and paid the toll, then she began to look calm and happy. Throughout the 1 hour drive, she was smiling happily and kept looking outside - to make sure we are on the right track (I think). She seemed calm and at peace as she arrived at my parent's place. At one time, she came to me and said "Oooo Cean!" (Ocean) rather loudly, after she checked her bag. Ooops, I am very sorry to say that I purposely did not bring her favourite 'Ocean' book, since she didn't even look at the book for the whole week. Dad diverted her attention to another book "Animals", and she happily learned to trace the spelling with her fingers, and pointed to all the animals that she knew (We asked her to point), even flipping the book, to find the animal that we requested of her. She went to everyone, grabbed their fingers and wanted them to help her trace and read the spelling. She even said 'A' once. : )

Before we left her there, I told her that I would be calling tonight, or she could call me, if she missed me. I am embarrassed to admit that I totally forgot to call her, until mom called. Joy was being restless and almost crying as she walked in and out of the living room. When mom asked if she wanted to call mama, she quickly went to take the phone. She listened to me, and seemed satisfied and ran off to play. An hour later, I called again, and she came to the phone again, listened and even responded with 'Ooo".

Mom said that perhaps she was waiting for my phone call. This afternoon, after we left her there, my dad went out. My little daughter walked all over the house, calling "Wai" many times, which is why I came to interpret that she was calling for "Wai Kong" (grandpapa). My girl seemed rather attached to my dad. Just like me. : )
She even had to make sure that grandpapa is at home, before she goes to sleep at night.

Grandparents' Love Therapy #4

Progress report on Saturday: Mom brought Joy walking outside for fresh air early in the morning. When I called, they were just on their way into the house. Joy was excited and happy. She came to the phone and listened quietly before running away. Dad has been reading her favourite story books with her, helping her to trace the alphabets with her fingers, and identifying the alphabets. Later, Joy also took grandpapa's fingers and helped him trace the letters.
Joy has also been singing a new song. (just the first line) I can't remember the title, but it goes something like this "Oooo yeye yeah.... I love you more than I can say..." - hi hi, I can't imagine mom singing this song again and again throughout the day, to get the tune into my daughter's head.
By the way, when I called home in the evening, Joy came to the phone and said her name, through the phone. After answering with a very short 'mm' to my questions, she ran away. I think I could live with that for awhile.

Progress report on Sunday : Dad volunteered to drive and send Joy back. Mom mentioned that Joy was a little quiet this morning, with only her usual smile when she was told that grandpapa would send her back to mommy. Once she arrive home, she went into the kitchen and found some food on the table. She pronounce 'chi' (eat) very clearly. Once in awhile she said "Oh Yeah" - her version of the song my mom taught her. It sounds so funny to me, but yup... it's still a progress.  : )

Grandparents' Love Therapy #3

Friday, 20/4/2012

We sent Joy back to my parents, despite that she was not feeling too well for the last two days. She was having mild fever, but she seemed fine today, with no need for medication the whole day. As usual, Joy was happy to arrive at my parents'. She is allowed some of her sensory needs - most of the time on making sounds. At one time, she wanted to follow my dad out in his car. She even said the words," Yao chu' (want go) to my dad. He still didn't bring her out with him, since it's raining, and he has some errands to do. Joy doesn't seem to mind much, as she came to lie down with me, still smiling and 'babbling' her own way.

From mom's observation, Joy is learning and is very attentive to new things around her. She may not seem interested when my mom tried to teach her a new song. Mom repeated the song on her own, not forcing Joy to listen or follow. In the end, when she finally stopped singing, Joy began singing the very same song. (of course, only the first few words).

# My updates on her speech this week

- she read the words 'two, three, ocean' a few times, and seemed very happy with her achievements.
- willingly say/repeated the words I asked her to say, when she wanted something.
  For eg,
 1. Pointing to her favourite book, saying "yao shu" (want book)
 2. Saying "yao yang yang" (want (xi) yang yang) - her most recent plastic toy.
 3. Saying "Ooooo", almost every time she sees a word that starts with the alphabet 'O'.
 4. Kept saying "yi, er" (one, two), last night, when we are trying to guide her to finish her homework from school - writing a page of '10'. Instead of saying "shi" (ten), she said, "yi, er."

# Her latest achievement...
- previously, she would grab our hands (family members) and made us hold hands and go round and round.
- this week, she grabbed our home cell member's hand and my hand, and tried to make us go round, and round. (dancing with someone besides the family members).

Grandparent's Love Therapy #2 Updates

Sunday. 15/4/2012

We went to fetch Joy after Church service today. She refused to greet us at the door, and even refused to look at me. In other words, she looked angry. Mom said that like last week, she refused to lay on the mattress, but on the hard, cold, tiled floor when taking her milk. (she was yawning, but mom thinks she is scared of falling asleep if she lay on the comfortable mattress). When I called her and pulled her to me, she smiled and hugged me. She then went into the kitchen to take her milk bottle and gave it to me. She automatically went to the mattress to enjoy her milk and FALL ASLEEP! So, this girl is really showing that she is unhappy, when she expected us to arrive much earlier. Mom said that she started crying and looking at the clock at around 11 am. This morning, when I called, I did told her that we are going to fetch her, but in the afternoon. Perhaps she thought we would be earlier. Yup... Mom told me that this morning, when I called, she took the phone and listened so intently, without any sound. I am sure she heard me telling her I'd be going to fetch her. Somehow, this show of emotion makes me glad. It shows that she is aware of the passing time, and knows how to show her unhappiness.

She listened to the conversations around her too. She was lazing on the mattress when Jay asked grandpapa to bring him out to pluck fresh flowers. She immediately cried. She wanted to go too! My dad had to bring them both out to get some fresh flowers.

By the way, mom mentions that Joy was having a bit of insecurity problem. At night, she follows my mom, even to the toilet, waiting at a distance, where my mom asked her to wait. Is this something to worry about? I think it's quite normal, since it's not her home, and she is scared of being left in the room by herself, right?

On another note,
Since she napped for quite a long time in the afternoon, I did some flash cards with her and assessed her a bit. I was assessing her with the words 'one, two, three, four, five'. You know what? She actually said the words 'two, three' several times. 3 times, I think. And quite loudly too. Hubby was in the kitchen, and we were in the study room - and he heard her very clearly. You can imagine how wide was his smile! My heart is trembling.... with joy. Hope this will continue to more permanent speech.

# She just came to me, and plunked her left foot onto my lap. It's red and itchy, and she wants me to rub it. I asked her in Chinese "you want to rub(tuu) with lotion?"  She nodded and said "tuu" (rub). This is just for the record. I don't want to forget any of her first words. These are milestones that may seem nothing to many, but it's huge to me. I'm praying Hard!

Grandparent's Love therapy #2

I have decided to keep a record of the weeks Joy will be away at my parents' house. Our plan is to send her back to my parents every Friday, and to fetch her on Sunday evening. It's rather tiring for both hubby and me, as it's an hour drive, each way. We sent her together as a whole family trip, after we are both home from work. The idea was for her not to feel unwanted. We wanted her to feel special, to be chosen to stay back at grandmama's place for the weekend. Jay was soooo jealous. But my parents told him, he can stay with them when he is older. That is his one consolation, and he didn't even mention about sister on the way back home.

I can see how much influence my parents have on my little girl. They are on her all the time, talking, describing and playfully demanding her to speak. I even heard a few words from her in the short 2 hours I was there yesterday. She responded properly with 'yao', 'yu', 'chi' (want, fish, eat) a few times when they tried to feed her dinner. (with her favourite dish - fish). Way to go, girl!