Updates.... and some thoughts on homeschooling.

          I fully have the intention to let this blog rest for sometime coz I have other plans that needed my attention. But somehow, a friend's simple question asking me about my opinion of homeschooling got me thinking. Well, it's more of a push of that 'guilt' button that's always there but ignored. (it's not her fault - I'd like to think of it as God's gentle reminder of my responsibilities.

          As some of you might realize, I have been focusing more on myself for the past months. 2014 wasn't a good year for my family - especially me. With my daughter just entering primary school, I've had to deal with her many different issues that cropped up every few weeks, and the stress at work almost suffocated me. To make things worse, I have this bad habit of stress eating. - which is why 2014 sees me at my heaviest and most uncomfortable phase of health. I'd get easily tired, mentally exhausted and very bad tempered. - which is NOT good for my family.

          Anyway, I've started pushing myself to exercise, and eat a healthy diet AND managed to lose weight. I am very happy to report that as of now, I've lost about 10kg. I have more confidence in myself. I don't look or feel easily tired. And the most important is that I feel renewed.

          But when I look back, I feel a tinge of guilt. 'Coz in my 'quest' for health, I have in a way neglected my children. Previously, I am totally focussed on them. I don't have to cook (we go to my mil's), and I have a cleaning maid coming every week to clean the house. - which means that I have all the time (after work) to concentrate on my children especially on my daughter.

          For the past months, I leave them be. I started cooking our own meals, learning to bake, doing household chores myself (no more maid) and exercising. - which translates to less time with the children. I confronted my husband with my 'guilt' and he was very supportive - saying that he's happy that I've finally decided to 'love' myself and take care of myself and my personal development.

         But the guilt is still there. This year, my daughter is in Primary 2. This first month did not go too well. In just the first 2 weeks she managed to tear almost all her text books. She cried and refused to wear her school uniform for the first week. And refused to wear her PE uniform on the 2 days they have PE in school. She did not drink her water at all in school - and rushed for water right after she arrived at grandmother's after school. Just last Friday, she came home with a classmate's book which she tore. Her teacher asked her to bring back the book to be repaired and returned on Monday.

          I've only done the minimum for her school work too. When I am able, I'll get her to do some writing exercise and finish a few pages of her school workbooks. (Her teachers never gave her any homework - mainly because she can't write on her own yet) I think her teachers just tolerated her 'existence' because we insist on sending her to the mainstream. The only things that kept us with this decision was that though she did not improve in her academics, both the teachers and I agree that she improved in her social skills. - Our main purpose for the mainstream. Other parents may think socializing is not that important compared to academics, but to us, it's the start to her survival skills.

          Since December, I sent her to piano class. Again. I requested on personal one to one instruction. Initially I accompanied her to give the teacher some idea on how to get her to follow instruction and concentrate on the lesson. So far, she is doing okay. She does seem to remember the notes taught and are more often cooperative than not. But we did not insist on the theory and written part of the lesson. She is also starting to show her musical instincts. Both her father and I love listening to music and we would often hum or sing anywhere and everywhere. My son got his father's talent in modifying lyrics into his own songs. As for my daughter, she has started humming the songs we have been singing AND fitting in her own 'words' in the music. hahaha.... try to imagine how her daddy smiles when she sang 'da di da di' to a popular song.

          As for my son, he thrived in his own way. He begged to go to arts classes and loves it. He still has his piano lessons, and is now planning for extra English classes outside too. He has more self control and very obedient. His kindergarten has water play every 2 weeks, and he never asked to play but instead reads or does his homework in class just because I told him he's not allowed to play with water in school. ( I do let him play with our water pool at home). I managed to get him to read books, magazines as pastime since we don't have television at home. He gets his dose of the TV at his grandmother after school. He is also his sister's little teacher. He'd sometimes think of some skills he wanted his sister to learn, and start teaching her. It is so endearing to see his persistence and the sister's willingness to follow his instructions. He is so ready to be a big brother that he has been praying aloud to God for a baby brother or sister. I am still not sure how to handle this request since both hubby and I have finally decided that we are really done with just 2.

          Anyway, after much thought last night, I am again gearing up for more lessons at home now that I feel more energetic and healthier. I hope I will have the persistence to be more consistent. I may not be posting as much, coz I think it'll be more of reading together and discussions, and working on my selection of 'school' books with a bit of arts and crafts thrown in. The montessori materials, flash cards and educational games and programmes will still be used - but they're all the same things that I've posted before. When I bought whole sets of 'curriculum', I fully intend to finish them. The different sets of whole programs could actually last until they are around 8-10 years old. I'm still adding quality reading materials to our collection in my effort to create a print-rich environment for them. (my main problem is that my daughter loves to tear the books apart). Since last November, I've added Legos to our list of creative work and the kids have been hanging around when I bake. (I told them mummy's learning and they are very curious to see what I'm baking. I hope this will ignite some interest in the kitchen too - home economics, right? hihi)

          Why trouble myself?
Sometimes, my colleagues would comment why do I need to spend so much energy on my children. They suggested me to just send them off to tuition centres and that's it. I don't have to buy or make the 'learning' materials and spend so much money, time and energy - and tire myself. But I think this is all worth it. My only regret is that I am not able to this full time. But I am grateful that my full time work does allow me to have more time to do all these. I am willing to search, research, spend money on materials, source out specific classes that I myself is not able to teach, and even learn some of the skills myself to be more able to guide my own children. But is this homeschooling? I guess in a way, it is - for my daughter. Since she's very young, though she does go to preschool and what nots, my purpose has always been the social and independence skills. I taught her her ABC's and 1,2,3's..... and all other things - at home. - and she gets to learn to generalise them in school. As for my boy, he is still young. I will still continue to teach him myself, focusing on his strength, and at the same time allowing him to learn the social aspect in the community (in kindy and in school) - and hopes that he'll grow into a well rounded person. I talked to him alot about the happenings in school and we discussed about almost everything we can think of. In a way, he is a mature little person.

          So, will I continue this when they are older?
Yes. It is my indefinite responsibility. I will continue to 'homeschool' my daughter based on her interests and strength. And there is a term 'afterschooling' for my son. - which means teaching him things other than the things he learns in school. This will mostly be about honing his interests and strength. As for now, I can see his interests and strength is in maths, arts and music. Besides, isn't this almost a norm for students who went to private schools here? They study international syllabus and at the same time they study for Malaysian Public examination too.

          Won't this be too much for him?
Well, I think with my knowledge of the public school system, I'll be able to adjust things accordingly. That is why he needs to learn to be disciplined and use his time wisely since young, so that he'll have the ability to organize his time wisely for both school work and his interests.

          He is still young. Give him a break.
 I have my responsibility to raise up children who are well-rounded and this starts right from the beginning of their life. Pampering and shielding them from the ugly side of the society won't help them. I hope for my children to grow up able to recognize the good and the bad - and to be able to handle them properly (which is why I discussed about life and issues with them even though they are still very young). Adult life doesn't start just like that. It is continuous, and one day when they suddenly find themselves faced with adulthood and it's responsibilities, I hope they will use all the skills they've learnt since young.
       

There is no right or wrong in parenting. The same goes for homeschooling, afterschooling  or flexischooling. Every household is unique and no one approach fits into every situation. This is what fits into my family for now. Who knows, it might change as my children grow?

Simplicity is the aim

I was (still is) sick since Friday. Last night, my head was feeling out of sort, dizzy and heavy, and feeling so cold that I wore 2 shirts and a track suit at home. I was shivering that I hid myself under my comfortable, thick duvet. And I opted to sleep downstairs on the couch, to keep a fair distance from the kids. My only thoughts at that time was that I couldn't afford the time to be sick. There's lots of things to do. But God seemed to think otherwise.

 This morning, I was feeling strong enough to drag myself to attend church service. Actually O was feelng sleepy, after taking medicine, and I had only 2 choices. Since hubby had to be at the church for service, he could only bring one of the kids with him, and I had to take care of another... Which of course, will be Joy. It's not appealing to me, sin e all I wanted to do was to sleep. So we decided to attend the service, and leave earlier if I don't feel up to it.

 Though as usual, I never get to listen to the sermon properly, I did get the gists of the sermon this time. The pastor was talking about simplicity as the aim in our life. The phrase kept repeating itself in my mind, all afternoon, while I was resting. As I reflected over it, yup! Hubby and I have very simple aim for our family. We wanted our kids to live a healthy and fulfilling life. In other words, we wanted them to be blessed. With every prayer we said, we prayed that God will bless them, in every aspect of their life. It is that simple.

 I am not very 'wordy' in my prayers. My prayers are usually short and simple, and direct. Every night I prayed that God will reach out and bless my little girl, And may all the evil spirits that binds and limits my little girl be banished forever. That she would open up and start communicating and talking to us. And I prayed that God will guide us in our parenting skills, as we bring up these children towards His ways. Do I hold on to simplicity as my aim? I certainly hope so. But I think I still have to work on simply trusting Him to do His work, and not to worry too much. :) for now, I am letting myself go, and permit myself a short holiday. Being sick, I try to rest as much as possible, and hubby took over everything else. As I see him gather my office wear, and hand wash them, I am glad hubby is a simple person too. His simple love towards me and the children gave him the humility to be the best husband in the world.

A week in review.

I just had to find a topic to write about. I am in such a state, that I need to write, to help me collect my thoughts and get things done. Amidst the chaotic feeling I am having now. I am so glad that I still have my ipad. Thank You, Lord.

Last week was a blurr to me. Things at work are not very smooth. (I have no intention of relating it - since I want to just forget it. - hopefully I will, after sometime.) Things at the kids' school are both discouraging and encouraging. I just don't know how to think of it.

Joy's teacher was trying to wean her off her milk bottle at school.- and Joy is not cooperative at all. She had all the other teachers worried for her. her last year's teacher Anna even called me to let me know how things are in the past month, and reminded me to please bring her milk bottle to school again. (I guess she really created a havoc)

Last Friday, I had a long chat with the principal of the kindergarten. She was suggesting that I let Joy back into preschool - of course, with a different teacher. Her reasons were simple and I understand that she really cared for Joy. She admitted that all her kindergarten 1 teachers for this year are not very experienced teachers, especially with special needs. Joy's teacher is a new teacher. And both kindergarten classes has 35 students. The principal has even provided another teacher helper to help with Joy's class - since her teacher is not able to give more attention to Joy. I am very grateful for this as I know that Kindergarten 1 classes have only one teacher and no helper.

However, as I related to her of how things are at home, and how I handled Joy at home, the principal was convinced  that the problem lies in having a teacher that understands my daughter - regardless of which class she is in. We'll just see how things are next week. Last year, teacher Anna took 3 months to understand Joy and together we could see improvements in her. My hope is that Joy will meet a caring teacher that is willing to ask and learn how to handle her.

I have been listing the pros and cons if we let Joy back into her preschool class. We know that acedemically, she might be bored, since she knew her alphabets, numbers, shapes and colours. But there are also some thematic work and vocabulary, and phonics and math and science concepts that I knew she needed to work on. She also needs to work on her penmanship and overall independence in school. I am already working on them at home - but not too consistently, - and with the present condition I am forced into (with all my files gone - thanks to the corrupted hard disk) - I doubt I will have much time. Plus, I really find it hard to teach her to read in chinese, since I went to public school that emphasizes on English Language as the main language. Eventhough I speak Chinese, the chinese characters are foreign language to me.

On the other hand, Joy could really have more time to focus on her independence and life skills if she go back to preschool. The syllabus is not as intense as her syllabus this year. And the preschool teacher they recommended to take her in has many years of experience with several special needs. - plus she has only 25 students in her class. sigh....

The principal also commented on Jay's maturity. She seemed so sure that Jay would do well in preschool instead of remaining in play school. Play school does not focus on academic, and Jay is so interested in everything, even penmanship. (have I mentioned that he wrote 'J' all by himself the other day?) - All I did with him was to hold his hand and write his name on every piece of crafts he made. And now he could almost write his name. (hubby and I are so proud of him!) - mind you - she almost convinced me to let him go to preschool. sigh.... how would it be like if both my kids (aged 5 and 3 - are in preschool?) - hard to imagine.

Starting Over....

My hard disk is declared corrupted. There is nothing that can be retrieved. Oh.... All my photos.... We borrowed a notebook from sister in law and I checked all the back up that I had in my external hard disk. I have not done back up for the whole year of 2011! Sigh... I guess its my fault. I am not consistent in doing back ups. I have been thinking hard of what sort of photos we lost. Hmmm....

2010 Christmas celebration in Kuching

2011
  Chinese New Year celebrations with family. And family photos.
Jay's 2nd birthday clebration
Easter holiday in Kuching. At Damai Puri beach. I loved the potos of the kids there. Of Joy looking at the camera and smiling so naturally.
Joy's birthday celebration.
And all the photos I took of their antics and videos of Jay singing.
Christmas celebration

2012 Chinese New Year and family photos.

My only comfort are the photos that I've uploaded onto this blog. Of course, we also lost all our work-related files, all our lesson plans and teaching materials.

I've also lost my curriculum lesson plans for the kids. I was in the midst of modifying them , and now I have to start all over.

We have to start all over with all our files. I had thought that I am in for a good start this year, that during the 6 weeks holiday, I've prepared all my lesson plans and materials in advance for my teaching in school - and I would have more time to teach my kids. This is a great blow to me now that I will not have the time to redo everything all at once, but have to resort to preparing things on the go, as I need them. Sigh.....

Pictorial (January #2)

Here are some more photos, just managed to get my camera to cooperate and transfer the photos to my pc.

We bought a doctor's set for the kids. Jay immediately assume the doctor's role. Looked after all the toys at home.  Had role playing with daddy and me too. (hi hi, when it's his turn to be the patient, his medicine is to drink more water... he's very obedient with the prescription)

Doctoring the puppet frog.

Match the shapes. 

I made both of the kids the monster's hand gloves. (Initially I made them for Jay, but Joy wanted one too, and even said (yao - want!). Jay got to practice  naming the shapes and numbers, and the letter M.  I wrote  a big M at the back of each. Today Jay wrote 'J' all by himself on the gloves too.  I'm planning to assess him with his handwriting soon. 

Pasting activity. He recognized the letters D - Dora, S - Swiper and B - Boots. Not bad, considering I've not taught him these alphabets. Perhaps just introduced them randomly somewhere. - and he remembered. : )

Fine motor activity. These markers come with a case. Each marker have a hole to put  in.  I gave the whole case to Jay , to colour the pictures Dora, Swiper and Boots. He took all of them out, and I made him put them back into the little holes. 

Jay is writing/tracing until number 10. All by himself. 

Practicing the alphabets on the ipad. Joy looking (and absorbing the information - I hope)

Jay loves playing with these coloured blocks. He has been practicing  building a high tower like this for a few days.  His tower always comes down half way. This time, he made it. I found this tower in the living room, and he is off to play with other toys. Bravo! (by the way, he said this is a rocket)

Another favourite toy. I don't really know what to call this type. He would make so many beautiful things out of this.
I don't know where he got this idea. He told me he is planting flowers. And they grew so tall and beautiful. 

Today he built another tower, higher than himself! He is  so proud!

This is a house. 

He added another triangle on it and snapped the photo himself.

Pictorial (January)

I only managed to take a few photos of the kids in January.

Jay, making train again. I cut the pieces and he glued them together to form a train. He needs to name the shapes and colours he is using in the process. 

When he is done, I used stickers and created simple counting  exercise  for him to do.

: ) I was typing this when Jay came and tried to interfere. He saw  this photo and said 'Ma ma... I love bubbles.' (In English!) And he's narrating beside me the fun in playing bubbles. This is one of our Chinese New Year tradition. Since all the toys are out of sight. We can play bubbles like mad. (I used the fan to help with the bubbles) Jay went crazy, chasing after the bubbles, but Joy was more interested in getting hold of the stick (for sensory purpose) - the cleaning up later was easy too. Just wipe and mop, since the living room 'was' in show room condition. (you know what I mean)

The kids enjoying the scenery inside the house, while daddy plays with fire works outside.

Playing ipad together.

Matching clothes for the bear family. Jay learnt to match the clothes,  the sizes and notice  the different facial expressions. He  prefers the happy, smiling face.

Jay doing colouring with my mother.

This is Joy's colouring. A few scribbles and she is done. Usually we had to monitor her  to make sure she finish properly. This time.... I just let her go.

An afternoon at granny.... while mom is at work

Since I started working, my sister in law has been the unofficial nanny to Jay, playing and 'teaching' him in the afternoons when I am not at home. Today, she described to me how his day went.

After lunch, do some puzzles.
 - Play with blocks.
- Greet mommy at the door.
- Answer a phone call from daddy. - reporting what he is going to do this afternoon (he wants to sent sister to her therapy)

1.30 pm
- Say good bye to mommy and sister (going for her therapy).
- have bath
- wait for aunt to stop reading her FB and download Mickey Mouse Club House.
- while waiting... adjust the fan (its very hot),.... then, go down stairs to complain to granny (aunty did not switch on the air cond.Very hot) (ku ku mei you kai leng ci. re re)
- while downstairs.... have chrysanthemum tea. Aunt came downstairs to bring him up.
- watched Mickey mouse Club House for around 30 minutes (1 story)
- came downstairs - ride on the bicycle in the living room
- do some puzzles
- ride some more
- do some tracing worksheets
- create trains from his coloured blocks and linking blocks.
- ride some more
- do some number and shapes puzzles
- tea break - cakes and drinks

5.00 pm Open the door for mommy. We are back!

Phew! He is certainly one busy boy!

Red Packet from God

We only go to the church my parents in law goes to once a year - during Chinese New Year. The church's level of noise does not suit me nor Joy. I have always preferred quiet and peaceful environment, and Joy is scared of the noise.

One tradition at the church that draws me to it, is the giving of red packets that contained a card with the word of God. It is the best gift for a new start. I like to reflect upon the word, and sometimes felt that God wants to remind me or warn me in facing the unknown challenges of the new year.

Here are HIS words for me, my dear husband and Jay. (Joy was so afraid of the singing and dancing and shouting on the stage - accompanied by a full band of drums, guitars and organ, that she hid herself, refusing to look at the pastor)

For me;

'I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.' - Galatians 2:20

For hubby;

'The gracious hand of our God is on everyone who looks to Him.' - Ezra 8:22

For Jay;

'Let us acknowledge the LORD; let us press on to acknowledge Him.' - Hosea 6:3

Weekly round up #3

I am going to start off the first day of 2012 with a positive and encouraging news. Last night, we went to Popular book store and the kids get to choose something to buy. Jay, who is very into train nowadays, quickly spotted a Train treading board. Its a fun way to reinforce the letter 'T' we are doing for these 2 weeks, with extra colour recognition, and fine motor in treading. Joy initially chose a thick chinese story book, full of words (which of course, is not suitable for her). She chose it merely because the cover has the picture of a mermaid. Hubby put it back and pulled her away from the section. The girl cried softly and said, "Wo yao a." (I want it). So, we searched children's section for another book about mermaid and she is satisfied.

Well, this is what we have been doing for the past week.

Bubble pasting. Letter T

Opening Christmas presents from Santa. Jay got a wooden alphabet train and a Jesus Loves You story book.
(Now Jay keeps talking about Santa and singing Christmas song and birthday song to Jesus.)

Joy got a dolphin puzzles and a  Kids National Geographic Dolphin book. (I had to order this online)

Colour the picture following the example given. Jay had to learn to choose the correct shades of colour.

Did this early in the morning, before I rushed work for the whole day. Jay loves painting.

Pasting T for Triangle.

Train treading board Jay chose yesterday. This is his first attempt doing a board treading. Needs more practice.

A cute train made after he finished treading all the 4 boards. now I just hope he will  play with it long enough.

Others:

1. Joy doing her dolphin puzzles all the time. Jay will do it together when sister is in good mood of sharing. They also did other board puzzles separately when they are not in the mood of sharing.

2. More on workbooks

3. Jay learnt to get his own drink from the kitchen. He is so proud of himself.

4. Joy starts getting vocal again. Yipee!

5. Watched Christmas with Mickey and his friends. A 3D movie. A nice change from their usual cartoony movies.

6. Watched Thomas the Train 3D movie. A first for Jay. He loved it. He even can sing (hummed) the song.

7. Joy sleeps a lot this week. I was initially worried, but she seems very refreshed after sleep. So, perhaps its just a phase where she needs more sleep than usual.

Afternoon out... without the kids ; )

Hi hi, I made hubby promised to bring me out and we both have an afternoon out by ourselves at least once a month. Its an idea I got from reading so many great blogs, and how other great mothers are coping with life. For the past 2 years, we only venture out with the kids in tow. Once in awhile, I'll have hubby bring me out alone - when I am feeling REALLY out of sorts and needed time away from the kids. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the kids, but sometimes they really get on my nerves. With stress both at work and at home, I think I am entitled to a bit of break once in awhile, right?
Last year, after being in the front line of the battle field with Autism for the whole year. We forked out quite a sum of money to go on short vacation twice at the end of the year. Early this year, we headed to the beach. These short trips (even with the kids) are really helping me, just to cool down. Then I plunged hard into work, family and life for a few more months. Like the saying, 'All work and no play makes 'someone' a dull girl'. = All work and no play makes mummy a mean mummy. My temper gets out of control and I know It's time for me to take a break. Again. This time, I suggested a routine of outing at least once a month, without the kids - a meal out, window shopping, a movie at the cinema etc, etc - anything!

Today, we bundled off the kids at my MIL and off we go! We had sushi for lunch. My favourite. To make it even nicer, we had 50% discount off everything we had from the kaiten belt. Then we went to watch a relaxing movie about magicians. Learnt something about the five elements - fire, water, earth, gold and wood. Good one. And the moral value projected? - Life is how you made it. If you believe you can, you can.

Wedding Dinner

Went to a cousin's wedding dinner last night - with the whole family. Both Joy and Jay did not have proper shoes to wear (they only have cheap crocs imitation sandals). Right after hubby came back from work, we went out shopping. It was real hard to find Jay's shoes. His feet are like my younger brother's - Big and wide, but short (he's not even 3 years old yet!). For his first birthday, we bought this. This shoe is a total stick on, following the size of its wearer. Its rather expensive, with around RM90, after discount.

of course, the sister got the same.

Jay's next shoes is a cheap local made that only lasts for a few months. My fault actually, I was so excited in finding a shoe for him, that I forgot to buy a size bigger. Kids grow so fast.

This time, with more experience in locating suitable shoes, we scoured all the shoes shop at Parkson, and finally found 2 pairs of shoes at Farley. The irony is, Farley is just less than 10 minutes drive from our home, and Parkson is a 20 minutes drive away. (lesson learnt - branded does not always means better)

Both kids behaved very well at the dinner. Joy was excited and co operative, and only scared with the loud entry music. (she leaned close to me until the music changes to softer version) She only cried once when she expected to see food on the table and the function hasn't begun. I gave her milk and she is satisfied. Later, she had fried fish and french fries... and oops, we gave her some of the wedding cake. She was looking so hopeful and we did not want to disappoint her in front of so many people. A cousin lent us her ipad and both kids (mostly Jay) is engrossed with Angry Birds that they don't really mind not eating. Joy played with the drawing application on my phone and all is peaceful.  : ) This is the first dinner function over the last 2 years, whereby we managed to remain until the end of the function. Great isn't it? 

Me and My Family

I am an educator and a mother of 2 lovely kids. My older daughter, Joy, was diagnosed with autism at 30 months old. Life has never been the same ever since. Now, a bubbly 4 years old, she has improved tremendously with much interventions, but there's still much to do. Her little brother, Jay, is now 2 years and 7 months. A typical boy with lots of love and interests. Everyday is miraculous with my 2 children, as they are full of surprises all the time. Their every achievements kept reminding me of God's grace and blessings to this family. Without Him, I doubt I will be who I am today. And without Him, my children and this family would not be as it is now. Of course not forgetting my wonderful husband, who is my pillar when I am down, and my comfort, just for being there for me and my children.