"You can come back and try when she is older"

".... perhaps you can come back when she is older. Then it would be easier for us to teach her." I get this as parting statement for the second time we tried to send my daughter to a learning centre in town. The first centre she went to was last year. Yesterday, after a very long consideration and asking around (and great recommendations from friend and pastor), we finally visited another learning centre in town. I was initially very relieved and happy to see the advertisement which includes "We have special needs class" printed. But I guess we had our hopes too high. In less than an half an hour (the supervisor ushered both my kids into a class for evaluation), we were told that they cannot accept my daughter. ".... perhaps you can come back when she is older. Then it would be easier for us to teach her."

It was a solemn reminder and wake up call for me. For both of us. If a learning centre who do cater for some special needs, also refuse to accept her, what other hope do we have of her going to a typical primary school? I was devastated. I was crushed. I cried. For the whole day today I felt like a walking zombie. I couldn't bring myself to smile or laugh... I don't even feel like talking. Fortunately school exam has started, I do not have to teach but only supervise the exam. The hours felt so long, my heart aching, my headache making things worse. 

I felt that there is nothing I can do. I felt like giving up. I did. For a moment, I did tell myself that - that's it. No more. I surrender. God has really overestimated me this time. I can't handle this any more. Enough is enough. 

But....

I knew I couldn't and wouldn't give up. This is my daughter. My flesh and blood. There is no way that I could just give up and let her be. 

And I know that if I didn't do anything, nobody else would. 

Please Pray for me.