Need.to.sleep.but.still. Awake.

I am still wide awake, bustling around, preparing basket with the kids' school uniform, afterschool clothes, their school bags, snacks, my own books and work bag and hubby's. For me, tomorrow truly marks the start of a new year. When everything will need to go back to routine, and we will have to adjust ourselves to our new workload, both at work and at home. The kids will start their new schooling year tomorrow too. I know I should be in bed by now. But somehow my heart felt very heavy. I don't want tomorrow to come. I don't want to return to work. Yup. I want to stay at home and enjoy having my children around, sending them to school, and fetching them. I missed the time when I was able to do that last year, when I was on a half year leave from work. I wanted to be able to send my kids to school, to watch them interact with their classmates and to talk to their teachers, to be involved. This year, I would not be able to do that. My father in law will send and fetch my kids. perhaps I will have to work out something, to fetch them from school at least once a week, so that I will be able to meet their teachers and to get to know what is happening in school. But that will have to wait until tomorrow comes and until everything and everyone gets into routine. After the staff meeting last week, I have been praying hard that I will be able to cope with the work load this year. I have more or less prepared all the materials needed for Joy's learning at home. Jay, of course will tag along, and learn as much as he can. But I have yet to meet my own students at school. I am getting new classes and I have yet to get to know them and to prepare materials for them, based on their capabilities. With teaching both at work and at home. I pray for strength, mentally and physically. And enough determination to continue when things gets tough. I think that's it. I need my sleep now. Right now, I am praying that I will be able to wake up on time to get to work. Amen.